In tears just need to write about int... - Anxiety and Depre...

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In tears just need to write about intrusive thoughts and an effort to stop struggling with them

Starrlight profile image

I have been sitting with the uncomfortable intrusive thoughts with terrible feelings and sensations lately. I am trying to not be struggling with them, but instead invited them as if we were hanging out together. It worked for a while as I just went along with my activities and I feel I’ve gotten to know the anxiety. It seems smaller. It’s so irrational but I still fall for its tricks.

I still am unsettled. I’m at the end where something has got to break, change, explode. I am practicing saying “f it “ every time a worry or negative thought comes up. I’m afraid this will become my only vocabulary.

Thanks 🙏 😊 ❤️

48 Replies

I am so sorry. Praying for you💕

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to

Thank you!!!

in reply to Starrlight

I'm always here for you

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to

😊 ❤️ I’m here for you too

I hope you know I'm here for you and ALWAYS will be...

I love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to

Yay! Thanks Sis

Im here anytime

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Starrlight in reply to DJB74

Thank you soooo!

My vocabulary is similar, worse on the harder days. Yeah my husband accepts my flaws and my potty mouth. 🤣

Actually sounds like your doing pretty good honestly, the brain will catch on eventually and not be so intrusive or you'll be of skill harnessing the power to power over it.🌺

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to

Your encouragement makes me happy. Thank you maybe I’m not doing so bad eh?

I understand, it never ends.

It’s got to get easier though, it must come in waves... I can’t wait much longer, I’m afraid I’ll do something I’ll regret to try to cope.

I understand, I have to believe that it will get better at some point, it just wears you out so much, wich of course makes it hard to feel positive, makes for long asss days...

Exactly

F in Exactly! Even....🤓

😆

Big hugs & lots of love Starrlight 💗 I know it's very hard for me to just let those thoughts just be. To not fight them or give them much thought. To accept that it's just thoughts, that they can't hurt me. I too sometimes fall for anxiety's tricks... it's very important to remember to reach out at those times... we're here Starrlight 💕

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to melbrown

Melbrown! Hi! Thanks. My thoughts are racing even when I’m busy using my hands and I just want to turn them off to be able to concentrate. My heart is beating fast and I’m just so miserable. I will go on a long walk today, maybe that will help.

melbrown profile image
melbrown in reply to Starrlight

A nice nature walk is amazing for you... take Coco... just get lost in the beauty around you. See the promise of new beginnings spring is going to bring. Hear the songs of the birds, the rustle of the trees. The breeze & sun on your skin. And breathe in the fresh air. Enjoy your time with Coco, see her enjoy being with you & happy to be on a walk. It'll be so good for you both.💕

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to melbrown

I love it! Great idea, only, I need to walk to my kiddos school and a shop kinda nearby, then home. So it won’t be that peaceful with traffic heavy around me but the movement and cold air will refresh me.

I feel your pain hun, and I’m sorry you’re hurting right now, just know that we’re here for you, you are not alone in this!!

i tend to say this phrase to myself to stop worrying about everything especially about my future or past (“Everything that happens to me is the best possible thing that could happened to me”).

I recommend reading Zen and the art of happiness. I love this book, It helped me a lot at some point.

Sending you love and hugs❤️

I love that!- everything that happens to me is the best thing that could possible happen. I think I’ll buy that book!!!

Ha..we use the word fudge..a lot of people feel anxious and have intrusive thoughts when they are worried about something at the back of their minds which has not been resolved. If its finance it cane be an ongoing worry, if it is to do with security or family ill health, these thoughts need to be rationalised. It's worse when one thing happens one after the other. The car wont start, the washing machine breaks and the over conks out the kids are sick..who wouldn't be wound up?

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to

Hmmmm thoughts in the back of mind unresolved yes I do see some things standing out but since ones I’m aware of I cannot have control over I must try to let go I believe, for now, because they are not for now. If failures of past pop up I will immediately say f it again, here I can’t change it, no control. And then theres fear of the unknown, I always have my guard up in case I need to react quickly and be strong but in reality if I’m stressing I won’t focus on task at hand well when I need to. Practicing deep breathing now, it’s helpful.

You don't have much time for fear of the unknown with kids. Kids are accident

prone, and it is anticipating the glass falling and splintering or tripping over the hose

slipping on the mud which defies all attempts to stop incidents. We have changed our living area so the kids wont break ornaments, and drink out of plastic beakers,

and even had to remove the locks on several doors as one door froze and could not get out. The other was the Lav door and kid thought he'd locked himself in. It was lucky my hubby had a screwdriver to prise the door open as the handle spring had

gone. Have to admit could feel the anxiety levels rising as realised was to big to climb out of the window ha!

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to

Ha! What adventures we have with our kids, eh?! And usually I realize in the grand scheme of things most things seemingly huge worried about don’t matter much actually.

in reply to Starrlight

Yes..but may be your kids don't swallow coins, or bite on a glass which breaks in their mouth or have an accident on a school trip. Wish I was as positive as you!

Oh yeah it’s hard not to worry My 12 yr old is a sponsored skateboarder and skates vert (ramps and bowls) so he’s always falling getting hurt. My younger busted his nose over the weekend and it’s still fat and has blue.

Hang on!! Wish I could say something amazingly awesome to help! Know you’re not alone. Reading through all the comments you are very much cared for! (((☺️hugs)))

You are amazingly awesome for saying what you have. Thank you so 🙏 😊

Hoping today is better. 💕 I once drank an entire pot of coffee and had the most horrific and intrusive thoughts. I was so afraid that I’d do something to harm myself that I asked my hubby not to leave my side bc I was so scared.

Awww so sorry that sounds terrible to go through. I’m having a very tough time. I don’t have much hope left right now. I feel afraid and I wish I could leave this earth. I can’t do this anymore but I love my family so I need to be stronger somehow.

How are you doing? ❤️

I’m doing ok. Not great, but okay. Trying to be okay with this. Though I’d love to be great. Let’s hope for acceptance. ☺️💕

Acceptance, yes. I’m working on actually inviting the bad feelings to be instead of struggling with them to push away.

It’s so hard!!! Is this our new “normal”? I’m going to dr tomorrow, we are trying a new antidepressant as the one I’ve been on for 3 years didn’t seem to be working anymore. I’m a bit fearful. 🥴

I am sorry Starr.

I am thinking of you. Sending❤️

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to Poodie

❤️ backatchya

I hate my thoughts too, it’s ruined my relationship/engagement

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Starrlight in reply to TheBooG

(((((((((((Hug))))))))))) I’m so sorry TheBooG

TheBooG profile image
TheBooG in reply to Starrlight

Thank you, how do you keep your thoughts quiet?

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Starrlight in reply to TheBooG

Sometimes it just happens but I wish I knew how to quiet it, it’s like we have to wait until it comes to us. I do find that exercise like running and deep breathing/ meditation can help.

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TheBooG in reply to Starrlight

Have you ever felt like you can’t hold your words and everything just blurts out and now your partner is angry because you couldn’t hold your tongue

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to TheBooG

Oh yeah! Don’t worry it will be okay.

TheBooG profile image
TheBooG in reply to Starrlight

It happens all the time

That’s a good attitude to try and just say f it. Intrusive thoughts invade my life too.

That’s the OCD. I sometimes ignore them, but sometimes they reduce me to rituals. Try to do some exposures, I know it isn’t easy. I was seeing a ERP therapist for about a year, but I couldn’t afford it, so I had to stop. I did learn some things.

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Starrlight in reply to Ddorne

Interesting. My doc talks to me about ocd but I only recall trying one ocd med. what types of things did you learn? Sorry really curious

Hang in there. :)

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Starrlight in reply to

❤️

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