What do you think of online dating? - Anxiety and Depre...

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What do you think of online dating?

nc007
nc007

I feel lonely. I kind of want to go back to online dating but I’ve never been successful dating that way. Anyone have experience with this?

108 Replies
oldestnewest

I haven't been lucky either with online dating. I have thought about try again, but I don't know I am kind of scare of going thru the same disappointments again.

nc007
nc007
in reply to SHCM

Exactly! I know I’m different and the process may be different but it is not healthy for my depression or anxiety. Kind of feels like the only way to meet single people now? Some of them aren’t even single. Very confusing 🤷🏻‍♀️

SHCM
SHCM
in reply to nc007

Agree. Even young people are using online dating!! Every time that I had a disappointment with online dating it triggered my anxiety. I don't trust anymore.

nc007
nc007
in reply to SHCM

So glad you get it. Getting ready to go to meetup instead. Trying to push to participate in life instead of isolating. Let’s see how this goes🤞...Thanks for being there. I appreciate you so much 💛

SHCM
SHCM
in reply to nc007

Enjoy your meet up. Your welcome and thanks to you too.

nc007
nc007
in reply to SHCM

Ok started my profile and good news I feel different!!

Kainan_li
Kainan_li
in reply to nc007

Meetup is great. There's no pressure. You can choose to attend any event you see fitting

nc007
nc007
in reply to Kainan_li

I’ve been going to about 2 per week. I’m gonna keep with it. We will see what happens 🤞

Kainan_li
Kainan_li
in reply to nc007

All the best to you :)

nc007
nc007
in reply to Kainan_li

How do you meet people?

Kainan_li
Kainan_li
in reply to nc007

The meetups. I try to go to different ones. Though there are those events I like to stick with. New folks will show up from time to time, so there’s always opportunities to make new connections

nc007
nc007
in reply to Kainan_li

I’ve found a couple I’m gonna stick with too. It’s been fun so far. Kind of weird and new but fun 😁

Kainan_li
Kainan_li
in reply to nc007

What kind of groups do you go to? One of my favs is the social anxiety group. A lot of people sign up for it

nc007
nc007
in reply to Kainan_li

I have done one to learn how to solder, one about real estate because I volunteer with homeless people and I have a writing group because I am writing my first manuscript. Been doing more volunteer work and going to community events. Reached out to some friends I lost touch with. Mostly I am focused on social interaction. My anxiety prevented that for a long time but I am pushing past it now. Not all the time but way more

Kainan_li
Kainan_li
in reply to nc007

Nice! It sounds like you’re reaching out and doing a lot of different things. That’s great to hear. 👍

nc007
nc007
in reply to Kainan_li

I started my profile last night and started messaging a guy that seems to have as many different interests as I do. Since I’ve had so much past experience online dating, I can feel that I have different things to share because of all my interests and activity.

Kainan_li
Kainan_li
in reply to nc007

Awesome! 🌻

I think you should meet your friends brothers, friends etc. Online dating is dangerous and empty. Meet someone through church, the grocery store, your family. Don't risk your life.

nc007
nc007
in reply to Melhall

I appreciate that. I’ve had a lot of experience online dating, probably too much. Fortunately I’ve never been scared or threatened with my safety but it is empty. I’m trying to broaden my circle in real life. Most sadly, no brothers. I wish 😊

I think it's a viable option, in many ways.

Gives a person time to get to know someone a bit. may be better to socialize, as I dont think you can make a romantic connection just happen , but you never know.

Just be very careful, as many of us are extra vulnerable, and can be taken advantage of.

Good luck. I agree that its good to get out there.

nc007
nc007
in reply to Timmypliskin

Good points. I’ll see. It may have been a lonely moment. It will pass more than likely. I’ve been pushing myself to be out in life instead of putting energy into online dating. It takes a lot of energy for me.

Hope you find happiness

nc007
nc007
in reply to TheBooG

Thanks for those positive vibes. I collect them up and carry them with me 😊

I had some good dates arranged through match.com, but that was awhile ago. I feel like I'd need a serious makeover before trying that again.

One of my brothers got married to a woman he met online but he had plenty of rocky experiences getting there.

That one success story is so appealing. I’ve heard those too. When I was dating heavily, I was a total mess, so I know my emotions impacted all of my interactions. I’m much different now, stronger but able to be vulnerable.

BTW I’m sure you don’t need a makeover. There is someone out there that will want you just as you are💛

Thank you, I hope so, because I really just want to be myself (with a little mascara) :)

Good luck with your meetup btw. Ive never done that- though I did get myself to an open mic last week for some music and socialization.

My first day with my profile yesterday and I can feel I’m choosing differently

Brave girl! Good for you. :)

Feeling good about it. Your encouragement helped 💛

I haven't tried online dating, mostly because I'm not ready to date, but my brother has and he's met a couple of potential matches in the past. But no one permanent yet.

nc007
nc007
in reply to LadyZen

That’s reassuring. I’m considering it but I want to be sure I’m not doing it just because I’m feeling sad. I want to do it when I’m in a content mindset. Not from a place of lack. Do you know what I mean?

LadyZen
LadyZen
in reply to nc007

Yes, that sounds like a healthy approach. I see people who look for companionship to fill a void, but a relationship usually can't fix that. By the way, I saw your weight and health post but I couldn't respond to it because I wasn't in the group. I just wanted to let you know you've done a great job and you look great! I actually have the opposite problem with food, where I can't eat if I'm stressed and that leads to all sorts of other health issues.

nc007
nc007
in reply to LadyZen

Thanks, it was hard to post but I’m proud of it. No more hiding is my mantra. Either good issue is tough. I get it

nc007
nc007
in reply to LadyZen

Started my profile yesterday and I can feel how differently I’m looking at the profiles and narrowing my focus. I feel like I’m attracting different types of men this time too. Day one felt positive which is different

LadyZen
LadyZen
in reply to nc007

I read that it takes about an average of three years to recover from a divorce. It sounds like you might be ready to move to the next step. I thought about joining a dating site just now since my divorce was finalized 2 years ago and I almost panicked, so I'm definitely not ready. Keep us posted! I can live vicariously through you for now.

nc007
nc007
in reply to LadyZen

I actually finalized in 2011. It’s been 9 years. I’m a slow learner😜...I can laugh about it now, which is a good sign for me

LadyZen
LadyZen
in reply to nc007

I think it will take me longer than that. We'll see.

nc007
nc007
in reply to LadyZen

You never know

Wow open mic!! That’s brave. I’ve never done that for sure. I work with homeless people seeking education and housing. Going to a real estate mixer to see if I meet possible investors who want to help homeless. It’s a work thing but I think it counts 🤓

Hidden
Hidden

Sounds fun.. I never tried online dating but does this mean I can date everyone and anyone online.. how cool

nc007
nc007
in reply to Hidden

There are a lot of options for sure. It can be overwhelming. I’m still not sure if I’m going to do it again

Hidden
Hidden
in reply to nc007

Very cool...

Dolphin14
Dolphin14
in reply to Hidden

Lol Quich

Hidden
Hidden
in reply to Dolphin14

Dolphin there you are I missed you.. .

I hope everything's going good on your end.🙏

nc007
nc007
in reply to Hidden

I love that you 2 are friends that check for each other 💛

Hidden
Hidden
in reply to nc007

Your our friend to.. a friend of dolphin is a friend of mine. She loves her coffe and you love your asking questions..

I love it.. what a perfect combination..

So you get lucky with anyone online ...

Dating site to be exact, I'm just curious you know kevin heart or Dwayne johnson could be on there 🤣🤣 ..

Or Bill Gates maybe even trump lol..

Dolphin14
Dolphin14
in reply to Hidden

You never know who you will find.

nc007
nc007
in reply to Hidden

I do ask a lot of questions. I love hearing from other people their stories and thoughts

Hidden
Hidden
in reply to nc007

I like that about you.. they say if you dont ask you'll never know..

Keep asking I'll keep answering👌

Dolphin14
Dolphin14
in reply to Hidden

Hi!!

I miss you too. How are you doing?

I'm doing well. Give me a ☕️☕️ And I'm happy

Hidden
Hidden
in reply to Dolphin14

I'm doing good not 100% but who's a 100% now n dayz anyway right? Lol...

I'm always running pass you in here only until we meet up In someone's post

Anyways nc007 is pretty cool her every post I think is a question wich I find entertaining because I get to answer one everyday😅.. I'm just always waiting for you to pop In and join the fun..

Heres your☕☕

Dolphin14
Dolphin14
in reply to Hidden

I will swim this way more often then. If I knew you were here of course I would have been right over.

Glad you are doing well. I don't know if 100% is attainable? But we can shoot for that.

Thanks for the coffee. You are too kind. Any friend of yours is a friend of mine. So I will be back.

Hidden
Hidden
in reply to Dolphin14

Yup you already know where I'll be just all over the place but it's about my bed time now 😅.. its night over here so goodnight or goodmorning I'll catch ya'll tomorrow.

Stay fresh stay cool...🗽

Dolphin14
Dolphin14
in reply to Hidden

Good night

nc007
nc007
in reply to Dolphin14

I love that you both engage in my posts. This is why I ask questions. To meet and learn from new people like you😊

Dolphin14
Dolphin14
in reply to nc007

A lot of posts do bring in other things. Sometimes I feel bad like it's taking over someone's post.

Quichisonfire is a great person. I couldn't help myself:)

nc007
nc007
in reply to Dolphin14

“Take over” my posts anytime. I love the positive energy 💛

Hidden
Hidden
in reply to Dolphin14

Aww dolphin I'm just following your shadows. You love to help people and I love to do the same although I tend to have sarcasm at times and I love it. The world is made up of to much drama and sorrow ..I dont have time for either one.. I'll just stay happy..

Nc007 we gained you as a new good friend.

Stay with us I guarantee you will win the lottery😅

nc007
nc007
in reply to Hidden

I’m feeling extra lucky finding all these friends. Gonna buy a lotto ticket. You can’t win if you don’t play lol

I’ve done mostly online dating since my divorce. It was hard getting out there and investing all that time with two kids at home and working full time. I have been in a relationship for over two years now and we met on tinder. It can be a very anxiety inducing process. You just have to be aware of that

nc007
nc007
in reply to Inthedark23

That is reassuring. I’m hopeful there is someone on there that really wants to connect. Nice to hear a success story🤞

Inthedark23
Inthedark23
in reply to nc007

You just have to narrow it down and remain objective about the process. I became anxious and overwhelmed at times but I did meet some very nice guys. Good luck

nc007
nc007
in reply to Inthedark23

I actually was able to narrow my focus right away. I started Bumble yesterday. I’m being so much more picky this time

My daughter met her husband on a dating site. They just got married in July.

He is a wonderful man. He takes great care of her.

I couldn't have hand picked a better for her.

nc007
nc007
in reply to Dolphin14

There have been more responses with success stories. Thanks for that. I do believe it can happen 😊

Hidden
Hidden
in reply to Dolphin14

I couldnt go on a dating site after watching Adam Sandler's twin movie..

Love bucket oh hell no....

nc007
nc007
in reply to Hidden

Lol I need to watch that movie again maybe

Hidden
Hidden
in reply to nc007

Aww see u know it😉

Dolphin14
Dolphin14
in reply to Hidden

I think I've watched every Adam Sandler movie with my grand daughter. I don't think that one sounds familiar. I will ask here to put that one on next tine. Lol

Hidden
Hidden
in reply to Dolphin14

He is one of my favorite actors , love his movie.. the movie click actually made me real emotional..🗽

Dolphin14
Dolphin14
in reply to Hidden

He is funny. I'm going to write that one down. I will get to it next time my granddaughter comes.

I’d say it’s a lottery online. I have guy friends addicted to it literally for girl crack !! I’ve made make friends on it. You can’t take it seriously & know they’re dating sleeping with other women. I was so naive at first. Not saying don’t do it. It’s just as you know you have to make them work for it. And they still might leave due to the crack mentality. & even organic dating you don’t know if they’re on line. It’s crazy how careful we have to be now. I think I met two nice guys great guys online in my attempts. Here’s to girl in control.

nc007
nc007
in reply to guitara69

I started my profile today. I already feel a little sucked in. Gonna try it and see how I feel. I only do Bumble because the woman initiates contact. If I sense any of my anxiety or depression being triggered, I’m out. I’ll close my profile. Let’s see what happens 🤞

guitara69
guitara69
in reply to nc007

Ok good luck just remember that those guys are usually on other sites too. Figured that out. Be a confident in control woman. And consider it an education in getting your feet wet again. It’s for FUN !! Let us know how you do!

nc007
nc007
in reply to guitara69

I’ve done way more online dating in the past than I want to admit but I can feel this time will be different 😊

guitara69
guitara69
in reply to nc007

Good on you !

nc007
nc007
in reply to guitara69

Thanks. Let’s see. I’ll update🤞

Inthedark23
Inthedark23
in reply to nc007

I’d like to suggest Hinge, it allows you to see their linked social media. I was on Bumble as well tho. It does give you more control

nc007
nc007
in reply to Inthedark23

I’ve never eve. Heard of Hinge but I only use Bumble

nc007
nc007
in reply to Inthedark23

I have never done social media and still don’t outside of this site

nc007
nc007
in reply to guitara69

I think I was addicted to it for a while years ago. I loved the attention, especially when I felt really bad about myself. I started my profile yesterday and could see my selection criteria had changed. Day one felt better than before. I’m going to stay open and hopeful since I’m different then the process could be different 😊

guitara69
guitara69
in reply to nc007

True. I remember a friend redoing his profile he’s a good guy and he said I’m not the same person as I was 5 months ago and he changed it and dated diff women.

nc007
nc007
in reply to guitara69

I was able to narrow my focus better

guitara69
guitara69
in reply to nc007

That’s awesome!! Now it’s just a matter of chance & opportunity!

nc007
nc007
in reply to guitara69

Patience is something I’m learning with my anxiety and gracious self compassion for myself and people I meet. Feels good to feel safe within myself and hopeful. Feels brand new. Definitely never done this before lol

guitara69
guitara69
in reply to nc007

That’s great. A new adventure

Don’t go online then go out go shopping go to museums places of interest talk to people

nc007
nc007
in reply to Afrohair

I started a profile yesterday but I’m going to keep my goals of going out socially everyday. The one guy I communicated with yesterday was interested in knowing more about all my meetups and volunteer work. My writing and interests in comedy. This time I want to not rely on online dating but hopefully it enhances the fuller life I’m leading

I met my partner online it was literally love at first site we moved in together a month later and 18 months down the line I’m happier than ever and he’s so good with me constantly in pain or ill and really supports me. It’s not always disaster stories just be so so careful when meeting anyone. I told my best friend, told her where we were going and even text her his car registration number just in case. Have fun but just be careful and you might get just as lucky as I did :) good luck x

nc007
nc007
in reply to Lanadc88

Congrats of finding such a great live! Thanks for that encouragement. I do stay hopeful. I hope I get as lucky as you did 😊

Lanadc88
Lanadc88
in reply to nc007

I’m sure you will do hunni there’s the perfect someone out there for all of us you just might have to kiss a few frogs along the way

nc007
nc007
in reply to Lanadc88

That’s the problem. I’ve had so many frogs I lost count lol...I’m due for my prince😜

Lanadc88
Lanadc88
in reply to nc007

Haha hopefully he’s on his way

nc007
nc007
in reply to Lanadc88

I’ve always dreamt of that feeling of love at first sight. What was that like?

Lanadc88
Lanadc88
in reply to nc007

It’s a strange feeling especially because I went into it think he is not my type at all lol rock music moheikan etc etc but after talking for a few days he was really sweet so I thought well don’t judge a book by its cover and see how you get on and we connected instantly there were no awkward silences we laughed and chatted all night and it just felt right if that makes sense and we just couldn’t wait to see each other again. When we did 2 days later he asked me out lol and from then on we spoke to each other all night every night and we stayed together at weekends, he lived an hour away so after a month it was like why don’t we just get our own place and move I together and that’s what we did and we’ve been inseparable since lol. Don’t get me wrong we have our moments and argue but at the end of the day we always sort things out straight away and we both know how the other feels it’s nice to finally have that :)

So that magical first date is what I keep hoping for. I love your story. I feel like now that my heart is open and I can be vulnerable after I have processed through so much of my trauma I can be open enough to possibly meet the person who can embrace me just as I am. Your story made my day 😊

Lanadc88
Lanadc88
in reply to nc007

Aww bless you believe me it really helps when u find that person I was with my ex for 8 years and I literally wish I wasn’t now when I think back over all the things I went through with him, whereas now I can literally be 100% myself and he loves me for who I am anger issues and all 😂😂😂 like even after 8 years with my ex I’d never walk round the house in shorts or anything like that because I have horrendous stretch marks on both my thighs yet now I practically live in pj shorts or night shirts and don’t even worry about my legs it’s a great feeling when u don’t have to worry about what the other person thinks and you can just be yourself because you know they love u no matter what and everyone deserves that and your mr right will come along maybe he’s just stuck in traffic lol x

nc007
nc007
in reply to Lanadc88

I hope he can get on the freeway soon. He needs to make up for lost time lol...thank you for all that 💛

Lanadc88
Lanadc88
in reply to nc007

Your welcome hun anytime, keep in touch and let me know how the online dating goes I’m invested in this now lol I’m hoping you find mr right ;)

nc007
nc007
in reply to Lanadc88

Absolutely. You inspired me 💛

Heya ... glad you’re trying a Meetup. They’re all nice people. Remember you’re not alone... they’re nervous too at first.

And as for the online dating shtick, it’s like a Roulette Wheel... ya never know where the lucky number will land.

-MZ ❤️

nc007
nc007
in reply to MrZee

How did my social life get so full in a week? 🤷🏻‍♀️...thanks MrZee

MrZee
MrZee
in reply to nc007

You blossomed, Kid. 🌸

nc007
nc007
in reply to MrZee

I’m still a bud trying to open 😜

MrZee
MrZee
in reply to nc007

Then enjoy it while it opens. And remember, take time to smell the roses.

nc007
nc007
in reply to MrZee

Thanks MrZee❤️

MrZee
MrZee
in reply to nc007

🤗

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