Hi, this is my first post. I’m going totally nuts. I’ve been online dating again, after over a decade, except for a few very brief spells fueled by curiousity mixed with loneliness (a bad combo). I’ve been on okc for 6-7 weeks..am finding it brutal.. first, it’s exhilarating when I start talking to someone I think I could like & he says he’s super-into me.
Then, the other shoe falls.. the communication goes awry at some point & I feel essentially ghosted or downright the recipient of mean or abusive behavior. Unfortunately, I blame myself for nearly everything, thinking, “if I hadn’t said or done such-and-such, he wouldn’t have treated me this way.” I’m trying hard to improve my communication skills- and to try to keep my distance and not get pulled in when they’re flirting and acting really into-me.
But I can’t do it.. i’m way too lonely and sensitive.. and every time this happens my confidence and self-esteem go down a notch. So, I think i’m reaching the depression stage. I’ve almost quit online dating many times since starting in December. But I work at home and don’t like the bar scene. Getting involved in community activities isn’t the answer for me, either. I feel so alone and helpless and like I’m losing my mind and can’t deal with anything. Need your friendship and wisdom- if able and willing to share... I just don’t know WTF I’m doing wrong!!! :((