Just lost Healthcare. Working on commitment. Any advice?

[sam4231]

I have been struggling with social anxiety and depression. It got really bad this past fall/winter. It got to the point where my sense of time and memory were really suffering. I was able to get really good healthcare from school last semester and able to try therapy, it was really helpful! Unfortunately I had to drop out and now Im back on my own. I was doing really good as far as no drugs/liquor/cigs and going to gym/diet. But I can feel that next wave anxiety and depression coming and I'm already starting to slip. I've always had problems with commitment and I need some advice on how not to give up on good habits or dealing with my anxiety in general. I don't want to loose what i worked for in these last months, I want to focus on being happy.

[MariahDacier2020]

Wow I really understand where you coming from because I'm going through the same thing it brakes me down in tears at point cuz this is not me this is not how I always been 😥😥😡😏 I HATE THIS nothing seems to help !

[sam4231 in reply to MariahDacier2020]

One thing that i was told by my therapist that helped me (I was also stuck on that "this is not me" for a long time), is understanding that its not necessarily that i never had anxiety, but that there are good and bad sides to anxiety and I had at some point started to fixate on only the bad parts of it.

The way it was explained to me is that anxiety covers a wide range of emotions, and blanketing it as just one negative emotion called anxiety can be detrimental.

While I never considered myself an anxious or anti-social or nervous person, I did consider myself a passionate, energetic and creative person. The truth was those were all the side of the same coin. So one of the main things I had to work on in therapy was admitting I WAS and anxious person and by shutting down and trying to fight ALL signs of anxiety I was also shutting of the good parts of my anxiety, the parts that made me who I was, and thats where I start to feel that disconnect of the person who I once was and who i felt like now.

I'm not good with words btw... so I know i'm probably butchering that ideology. I just meant to say I know the emotion your describing. That disconnect and feeling like your losing yourself and that's something that had helped before.

[Lylabeagle in reply to sam4231]

🙌 thankyou, this is so helpful and something I've not heard before. Makes a lot of sense

[MariahDacier2020 in reply to sam4231]

Wow ! Yeah this is the most far horrible thing I had to deal with in my life it's like the only thing I think about is how I used to be idk what to do anymore

[LadyZen]

I'm so sorry. I wonder if there are any live support groups or volunteer work you could do until you can get healthcare again. My first therapist use to organize retreats and I use to help with those.