Hi, I am confused if I really should be this angry or not at all. The person who said I can lean on her that she's not just my boss but a friend too, made me look like a fool today in front of other people.
My colleagues says it's not a big deal. But it is to me!
I don't know what to even think. Am I really just making this a big deal? Is my depression and anxiety making things worst than it should be?
16 Replies
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Perhaps your own anxiety and depression was triggered by your experience with your boss? Betrayal hurts. It only matters if it feels like a big deal to you
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True....the good thing is I know that I can add her to the list of people I should not trust anymore. Thanks for the reply
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I have found that to be important. Especially at work. You are important and deserve respect and positive friendship without doubt
Your truly right about that. She made me look like a fool in front of our colleagues. She doesn't even have the responsibility to admit that it's her mistake in front of people. She would just talk to me privately to apologize.
It okay for your boss to be a mentor, but being friends or someone you share anything but professional/work stuff with is never a good idea.
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So true. Too bad I got to learn the lesson in a bad situation. But nevertheless. I know now what to do.
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Bosses will look like they are giving preferential treatment by doing what you feel she should do. It just doesn’t look good good in front of the other staff members. So I personally think the expectation you have is a bit high in the work place.
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Yeah that is true. They are professionals but they can't take the responsibility.
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I’m unsure what responsibility it is they are needing to do, if your boss verbally abused you or did something that is considered outside the bounds of good work place treatment, I would not stay in this job. If it was your depression and anxiety taking something out of context or inflating what happened, then I would look at that too. Your colleagues did say it wasn’t that big of a deal. So I dunno.
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Sorry I guess I haven't explained the whole scenario.
No it's not that way.
My boss ordered me to do the presentation in front of many people. But all the info and details she provided me are so wrong!
I explained myself to the audience. My boss pretended she had a phone call and left me to deal with the accusing eyes of people.
Then after the presentation. She explained herself and apologized privately without anybody hearing it.
I can hear people gossiping about it. Laughing at my back. I tried telling people I am just following orders. But since my boss denies it when asked. Nobody believed me.
Thanks.
This wasn't the first time. But this scenario stretched my patience so much that it broke. I would usually confront her that about her mistake. She would laugh at it and apologize privately. She thinks it's nothing serious. She would run me down the mantra that she's getting old, forgetting things, mixing up details, don't worry too much and blah blah.
To the point that I got tired of telling it to her. The cycle never changes.
Though I know better this time. I know not to trust her even if it's work issue
Always trust your instincts, Jewelmoon. We’ve all been given our instincts so that we can better assess our environment, situations and people. And if you are feeling this way....there is a good reason for it. Just remember that no matter what anyone else says....YOU were the one who was there and experienced the situation....not anyone else. You know how you feel and even though you may have depression and anxiety....you know when someone has not treated you properly. We all do. I’m not saying that your depression and anxiety might not have caused this situation to be even more painful for you. But what I am saying is that I feel confident that you are fully capable of properly assessing the situation for what it really was. I know you’ve said that you are a sensitive person and sensitive people tend to be highly intuitive and excellent at reading people and situations. So I’m sure that you are right on the money with your assessment of this situation. And IMO, if you perceived the situation that your boss made a fool of you in front of your co workers, then she did. And yes, I believe you have every right to be upset about it....because it isn’t right to treat someone that way....regardless of whether that person is a boss or not. Now you just need to decide if you want to talk to her about what happened or not. Unfortunately, I have been through the same kind of thing that you went through....and in my experience, people will usually treat us the way “we allow them to treat us”. And if you don’t stand up for yourself....they will probably continue to treat you in the same manner....ie they will get away with as much as you “allow” them to get away with. And you deserve so much better than this. She may be your boss....but I would have a talk with her. If your workplace really has an open door policy....then she will welcome your sharing of how you feel by showing you enough respect as her employee by listening to your concern. And if she can’t do that for you....if that company can’t do that for you....then maybe it is time to look for another job where you will be respected for the person that you are.....An intelligent, perceptive and talented person, who only deserves the best!!! I hope this helps. Your experiences remind me so much of myself that I feel like you are a “kindred spirit”.....and I feel certain that you are! PM me if you need to talk further. I am always here for you! 🌸🌷💗🌷🌸
Thank you so much. I truly appreciate what you shared with me. It made me feel so much better. There's no confusion anymore. I own what I felt. I know how I felt. I know I was hurt, I was treated unfairly. It wasn't right.
Yes, I got to stand up now. Stop being this nice bullied person that I used to be. I need to fight for my rights as a human being that has feelings and emotions.
You are very welcome! And YES! You are absolutely RIGHT!!! It is time to stand up and be counted....And I KNOW you will do it! You are strong!!! You got this, Jewelmoon!!! ❤️
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