Feeling embarrassed and ashamed

[Cjonesabq]

Rather than hold things in, i wanted to tell what happened to me on Friday. I had a doctor appt that morning ( a 4 week f/u ad my kidney function had been low likely due to being on a diuretic and i was taken off and having blood rechecked.) i love my doctor but always feel so anxious going to the doc. My pulse is usually high and I generally tell them not to take my vitals til after the appt. On friday, i was suffering from allergies and felt like i could not breathe well..i worried that my pulse ox would be low and for 30 min prior to appt. i just felt more increasingly anxious. I drove to the appt while talking to a friend but when i arrived i felt i could not go inside. I got out out of the car to walk inside but turned back around to go to my car. The air outside felt still and i dod not feel i could breathe freely.

I went to my car to call and cancel my appt. i told them i was struggling feeling anxious and they offered to have a nurse come out but i just felt stuck and opted to go home when i knew i should have gone inside. They put me on the phone with a nurse from my insurance but we were soon disconnected. I arrived home and the doctors nurse called to reschedule but i opted for a phone appt. to discuss blood results which looked better from what i could gleam from the report.

I am struggling with allergies and wanted a script for Advair which has helped me in the past but alas, i will have to wait another week to our phone consult. I did not magically feel better once i got home but i have to continue to use anxiety tools i have like writing, talking, distraction, acceptance and breathing.

I am 55 years old and feel embarrassed and ashamed about the situation. J wanted to share with others who will be supportive, understanding and encouraging.

[Xena13]

Keep up doing what you are doing! There are some great books that can be as good as therapy.

[Cjonesabq in reply to Xena13]

Moving forward, talk therapy helps and this is forum is just one tool i use to help. Thank you for your support.

[Mary-intussuception]

Please don't feel embarrassed and ashamed. I need to see a doctor but keep putting it off. Different reasons, but hope to be able to make the decision to make an appointment soon.

Being unwell is nothing to be embarrassed about or ashamed of.

Is there any way you might be able to sort out a script over the phone on Tuesday? Do you have Out-of-hours system over the next couple of days?

Praying you will get through this week. xx

[Cjonesabq in reply to Mary-intussuception]

I will write to my doc and see if a script is possible. Just writing to let her know what happened will be a source of comfort. She is so understanding and helpful.thank you for your encouragement, i hope you will be able see your doctor when you can.

[Mary-intussuception in reply to Cjonesabq]

♡

xXx

[Calm_mama]

There is no reason whatsoever to feel ashamed. It's all so human. Give yourself hugs and self care and kudos for even getting to the visit. Tomorrow is another day to try. Every day is another day to try. Allow yourself to stumble and flail and practice self-congrats for making any and all efforts forward... it is all part of recovery...

[Cjonesabq in reply to Calm_mama]

Its true, i am human. Friday was a tough day but tomorrow is another day and i will take it one day at a time. Thank you for your encouragement!

[hypercat54]

Hi please don't be embarrassed and ashamed as it's not your fault. You can only do your best and you did so stop beating yourself up and cut yourself some slack. It can be almost impossible to deal with mental health issues and it's just one of those things.

I had a series of blood tests recently and my annual copd review. I cancelled them all a couple of times as I couldn't cope with them that day. I didn't even make it to the door unlike you. x

[Cjonesabq]

Thank you for your support and i am wishing you success and support too! I am taking things slow and giving myself a break.

[pianoplayer90]

No need to be embarrassed, and certainly don't keep it in! Express yourself!

[Sunnidayz1]

Thank u for sharing. We, as a community know exactly how you felt. We are here for you. Please dont beat yourself up over it. I have to tell u that millions of people have anxiety. You are not alone, ok? Stress and pressure we put on ourselves can make the fear (anxiety) worse. So I think bc you are not feeling well, bc of the allergies, coupled w nerves of going to see the dr, probably put u in that position. Btw, I get VERY anxious at any dr appt...Even the pediatric ones for my child..lol I can understand you were embarrassed. I get embarrassed too BUT then I realize you know what? I am not the first & I wont be the last that gets anxious. Drs know what this is. And you told her/him.

Tomorrow is a new day. Make another appt. Maybe bring a friend with you or learn breatheing techniques like mindfulness to help with the anxiety. You can do this.

Continue to share with us. We are rooting for you. Please PM if youd like!

XxSunni💛

[Timmypliskin]

To repeat what most have said... don't feel bad, or beat yourself up..

I have a doctor appointment tomorrow, have been dreading it for the last week...

I found several reasons to reschedule over the last month, but determined to go... but in the mean time all my anxiety symptoms are tag teaming me ... it stinks!@