Need Advice.

[Kat_21]

So, I have a situation that I thought was dealt with, but has come back up again.

I had a situation occur with my mom and her husband. I won't go into details, but I had an order of protection put out that I had dropped because my sister who was living with my mom, told me I should drop.

My husband got a call today, and I have court again against my mom's husband about what happened. I just don't know what to do. Do I go through with showing people what happened and risk my mother not talking to me again? Or should I just drop all charges all together and move on? I am hoping going through with it will make my mom realize that her husband's actions that night was uncalled for, and that I'm not making a big deal out of this for nothing, and hoping that will open her eyes to what's really going on. However, I also know that could blow up in my face, and she could refuse to see it from an outside point of view, and hate me for it.

But I'm concerned about the kids involved. What if it wasn't just a one time thing? My sister has a temper like mine, and I'm afraid that saying the wrong thing to mom's husband will make him snap again. I don't know what's right now. I need help.

Any comments/advice is appreciated.

[Hidden]

I'm sorry you're in a tough position. I wish that we all had an internal voice that would tell us what the correct decision would be. Only you can make this decision. I will tell you this, though: follow your gut. I hope things work out🙂

[Kat_21 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you so much.

[Hidden in reply to Kat_21]

Any time🙂 Just thought of something else:

All decisions we make have the potential for carrying uncomfortable consequences. Maybe you can do this: get a piece of paper and divide it into 4. At the top of each side (as the heading for each column), put the decision you're faced with. On the side margin (as a heading for each row), put the words "positives" and "negatives". Once you have your handmade Excel spreadsheet ready (so to speak), fill it in!

[Kat_21 in reply to Hidden]

That's a great idea! I will definitely try that.

[Ladybug9]

I would never tell you what to do but I can share what I would do. Example: My ex husband sexually abused my granddaughter and I didn't hesitate to try and get him convicted. It's a long story but unacceptable behavior of ANY kind should not be tolerated or let go. My ex had a son who had a 7 year old daughter. I was concerned about her so I wrote the son a 5 page letter who lived in another state telling him and his wife exactly what his dad did to my granddaughter for fear his daughter could be a victim. Unfortunately my ex took off to another state! Karma WILL find him. Do what you feel in your heart is the right thing to do and what is the responsible thing to do for others. I truly hope your mom will step out of denial and see the truth. Hugs

[Kat_21 in reply to Ladybug9]

Thank you for sharing, I'm so sorry that happened. Karma will definitely catch up with him.

But I'm just scared I guess. I love my mom, but she's always been this way. I don't know if it's selfish or not to try to go through with it.

[Ladybug9 in reply to Kat_21]

My opinion? It is not selfish at all. You know in your heart what you need to do. Listen to that and you can't go wrong!

[anxiousoutcast in reply to Kat_21]

its not honestly, its okay to do what you think is best for your mental health. even if it means sometimes hurting the people in your life. one day they will understand hopefully why u did what u did and if they don't who cares for real. it's your life to live, nobody else gunna live it for you. ik that is common sense but just thought I would reiterate that since it is easy to forget about what matters.

[Kat_21 in reply to anxiousoutcast]

Thanks, I let my mind get too busy and forget that. I appreciate the comment.

[Ladybug9 in reply to Kat_21]

Hi Kat.. How are you doing today? Made any decisions or are you still conflicted? You need to know support is right here for you, regardless of your choices. And I know, if you are where I was, you will do what is best. Don't feel forced into anything. It has to come from your heart. Keep us posted okay? Sending you hugs.

[Kat_21 in reply to Ladybug9]

Thank you so much. I'm glad you care enough to check in. I think, for the sake of my siblings, and having a healthy relationship with my mom sometime in the future, I'm going to go through with it. I feel like if she sees the outside point of view, maybe it will keep her from allowing this to happen again because she has a better perspective.

Thank you for being here. Y'all are all so nice, and I feel so safe here. I'm here if you need a friend, too.

[123zxc]

Hi Kat I'm new here but with my experience do you want to be right or keep your mom's love? But I dont know the situation either anys good luck I kinda liked that idea about the pros and cons

[Kat_21 in reply to 123zxc]

Hi! Sorry, maybe I didn't put enough emphasis in the post.. it's not about being right. There are other children involved, and that's my main concern.

[123zxc in reply to Kat_21]

Oh well then maybe you should think about it then good luck I hate being in the middle of things sometimes