Faces ...

[Bluetj]

I think dealing with mental illness for me is worst than when I delivered my children. When I was n labor I knew it wouldn't last 4eva. The thing with my mental illness is I never know when it's going to hit, how long it's going to hang around or when will it end giving me a good day. Then I have to walk around with a face that's not telling how I'm feeling on the inside because people don't understand. Some people might even think I'm crazy. My niece is a cancer survivor & has to come every 3 months to be checked to make sure she's still ok. She's coming today & I go be with her for support. How can I help her when my true mood is not well? 😔😔😔😢😢😔😔😔

[Jeff1943]

Your mental illness won't last for ever, Bluetj. It will only last as long as it takes you to find the method for recovery that works for you.

You live in fear of when it's going to hit. So apart from the discomfort of the bad feelings when they come, you fear the fear even before the bad feelings come.

And fear is your enemy, it is what keeps your nerves in a state of over sensitisation that is responsible for your anxiety and the depression that can come out of anxiety.

There are people who reach a stage in their recovery when they feel no fear - neither before the bad feelings come nor when they come. They know that by not responding to the shock of first fear with second fear they are depriving their nervous systems of the fear hormones that keep their nerves over sensitive. They know that if they stop flooding their nervous system with fear it will begin to lose its over sensitivity. When finally all that sensitivity yields you will cease to experience anxiety and depression.

So how do you stop fearing your bad feelings and so recover? You agree to accept the bad feelings for the moment. You accept them without any resistance, you learn to co-exist with them for the time being.

You stop fighting the symptoms because fighting only causes more tension and stress and you need less not more of those. So no more fighting your illness, you surrender to it, run up the white flag (only for the duration). You stop testing to see if it's there today because it doesn't matter. In fact it's more helpful if you do feel the bad feelings so you can practice accepting them.

Acceptance will bring you recovery because you cannot both accept and fear something. Once you frame your mind to accept then you stop feeding your nerves with fear and slowly, little by little, your nerves return to normal and so do you.

But this is no five-minute fix. You're not going to feel better in a day or two. But with practice and persistence the Acceptance method will help you slay the dragon and you will recover.

You know how to carry on as normal when the bad feelings come. So you know they are not disabling: anxiety alone will not kill you or make you lose your mind either.

Acceptance brings understanding, reassurance and the certain hope that this illness will not blight your life for ever. I hope that it brings respite and early recovery to you.

[Don0929 in reply to Jeff1943]

This actually is wonderful. I suffer with health anxiety and it’s horrible... aches coming in going around my chest, and legs... pains in my back that come and go... thoughts that won’t stop racing... some days I just can’t take it. You make a good point about fighting the symptoms because that’s what I do. I have to try to accept them but it’s hard when you don’t know whether they are anxiety or something to seek a doctor about.

[Jeff1943 in reply to Don0929]

Always see a doctor for reassurance even if you 'know' it's anxiety. May I recommend an excellent book that is a great help to those experiencing health anxiety and general anxiety disorder: "Self help for your nerves" by Doctor Claire Weekes available from Amazon and Ebay new or secondhand.

[Suzhou]

I’ve learned to let people in. And let them know I’m not doing to good. So they will understand why maybe I’m not all there. Also don’t forget to take you time. 🖤🖤🖤

[RecreateMyself]

You’re a wonderful Aunt for supporting your Niece through her rechecks. Just being there and being supportive and listening to her is enough.