Update/checking in

[melbrown]

Hi everyone. I realize it's been like a week since I've checked in or responded to people... I'm sorry. Been trying to process everything & except what I can't control. The out patient program is going okay, some days harder than others, sometimes I hate it all. But it is helping.... trying to be okay with all this is going to take time. My mom called me Saturday... she feels horrible I'm going through all this. She tried to resure me she's not abounding me. She's taking the latest date they gave her for the transfer, which is the end of October. She's also hoping to be able to take October off so she can spend as much time as she can with my brother & I. It's going to take some work, but it'll get better. My sister called yesterday & we spoke for like 2 hours. Most of it was silly talk... but we did talk about what's going on. I was afraid to trigger her (she self harmed as a teen)... she resured me she was okay. That she wants me to know she loves & supports me. It was difficult, but helpful at same time. Don't think we've been that honest in a long time... I've been trying to be strong & guarded... maybe it's time to stop. That it's okay to let others in. And it's time to work on this... so ya... that's where I'm at now... a work in process. Love & hugs to you all❤❤❤

P.S. Tomorrow (8/23) is my birthday, haven't been able to think about it. Hoping to have a good day... & cake.

[Tedddy]

Happy birthday tomorrow! And glad to hear things are going well. It sounds like you've got a little circle of support surrounding you, that is so important! It's hard work to deal with all this stuff, but you are DOING IT!

[melbrown in reply to Tedddy]

Thank you Tedddy. The amount of love & support I've gotten since admitting I need help has been amazing. We need each other to beat mental illness. 💛

[Hidden]

Happy early Birthday, my sweet Mel! I hope you have an amazing birthday!!!!! I love you dearly & am always here if you need me. 💕💕

[melbrown in reply to Hidden]

Thank you Kayla! I love you too, thanks for the love feast last night. Anxiety_59 is back.... best gift ever. Now just some cake & some bubbly & I'll be a happy birthday girl.

[LMCello]

Happy Birthday! I am so glad you are reconnecting with those in your family. That’s so important! Maybe you and your mom can work out a time every day to call each other. When I left the outpatient program in November I had to make it a point to reach out to someone in my support group every day. I also banned myself from ignoring phone calls from friends and family (a bad habit I have). Have you made a list of who is in your support group? People who you can talk to openly about what is going on and they don’t need to give you advice or anything, they just need to listen (over the phone counts, too).

[melbrown in reply to LMCello]

LMCello ❤ How are you? Thank you so much. Might have to try to see if anyone in IOP would like to connect outside. My brother has made a point to check in on me everyday. I am horrible at reaching out to people, but like you I've made a rule to not ignore phone calls. Hugs.

[Hidden]

Happy birthday

[melbrown in reply to Hidden]

Thank you 💛

[Concernedparent23]

Thank you so much for sharing your update - sounds like you’re doing so well.

Is it tomorrow already? If so Happy Birthday - wishing you lots of cake

[melbrown in reply to Concernedparent23]

Thank you so much 💛

[Hidden]

Happy birthday! Hope you have an amazing one!

[melbrown in reply to Hidden]

💛 thank you.

[Hidden]

Hey sweetie sending positive energy your way 🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻💙

[melbrown in reply to Hidden]

Thanks beautiful can definitely use it- horrible headache (& have my outpatient today) & concerned/confused with issue here last night. How are you doing? You've been in my thoughts. Sending love & sunshine your way. 🌻❤🌻❤🌻❤🌻❤🌻❤🌻❤🌻❤🌻❤🌻❤