Scared of dying

[mayaohh]

I am worried that there is something wrong with me and that it is just going to kill me suddenly. I’m only 23 and worry every single day that since my head is hurting and I feel lightheaded or that I’m physically sick in some way that it’s going to kill me suddenly. I have been to the doctor and had multiple tests done that say I’m fine but I don’t know why I can’t believe them I think it’s because I still feel physically sick. I can’t sleep anymore and am just worried all the time and it is affecting my relationships and my whole life I am miserable

[Pugglesworth]

Hi May.

In my experience health anxiety sucks. I deal with it everyday and I'm in my 50's. What helps me most is realizing I am going to die and I don't know when. All I can do is my best: exercise, eat right, be social, volunteer, get good sleep. That's it.

And even if I'm healthy as a horse and as fit as a fiddle some idiot can come side-swipe me with their car while I'm out for a walk and I'm DOA at the hospital.

Dying is part of the human condition. Actually it's part of the universes condition because it too shall pass away. All things arise and pass away. It is simply the way things are. Feelings arise and pass away. Each breath we take arises and passes away. Each thought we think arises and passes away. Every flower we pick arises and passes away. There is no exception to this.

We put a false solidity to what we think and feel because we forget to realize that those things change moment by moment. We think we've felt terrible for ages, but that is simply not the case. If we honestly look back in time, we see that in between those moments of terrible feelings there were moments of definite 'OK-ness' and maybe even some happiness. What we focus on tends to look bigger than it actually is. It's like we're looking at it through a magnifying glass. Our health is no different than anything else in this matter. And as we fixate the issue begins to seemingly persist. In truth, we're promoting the issue in our brain to it's prominence.

What helped me stop promoting this issue is realizing I am not my thoughts. If I were my thoughts, I wouldn't need to think them. If I were my thoughts, my mind wouldn't actively engage me in self-destructive behavior. If I were my thoughts I would be both a very terrible human being and a saint simultaneously. That is simply not the case.

We're simply human beings being human. We all want happiness and yet happiness can be quite elusive. It's not an easy thing to be human and yet we're all in this together.

Be easy on yourself and kind.

It's quite possible you are just fine.

The odds are definitely in your favor.

[mayaohh in reply to Pugglesworth]

Thank you so much for these words. I’m really trying to just accept that no one really knows when/where they will die, I just get so nervous that since I don’t feel good it will be soon and I don’t want it to be.

[TheKnightRider in reply to Pugglesworth]

What a Gem you are Pugglesworth!

[Boeta in reply to Pugglesworth]

Beautifully stated....agree....thank you...been now with this philosophy for quite a time...it helps a lot to see that others also share this view....

[Meche1]

Have you tried getting outside, just walking and deep breathing, especially when you’re in an anxiety attack? I had to fight myself to do that, but felt so much better after awhile. There is also online CBT training and meditation could help. Just keep trying things until you find something that will work. Then keep doing it.

These feelings won’t go away until you find a coping response that isn’t reacting the way you do now. Many ideas and videos on YouTube could help by engaging your thoughts on something else when your feeling this way. My go to is exercise and lots of water. Tire yourself out all day and maybe that can help your sleep 😴 not simple or easy, but you must start somewhere.

[mayaohh in reply to Meche1]

I’ve tried and yes it helps, I’ve been trying to work out a little more but it is hard when I feel physically sick everyday, so trying to forget about those feelings that I feel constantly are difficult. Just still really nervous something is wrong even after doctors have given me the “ok” even after tiring myself out all day my body will be physically tired and I still will not be able to sleep

[Cunda]

You need love. If you are in a relationship, your partner should assist. Take you for vacations and plenty of love making, even try making a baby, it will shift your focus and you will be good

[Gjkas]

Hi .I used to feel like you since I was 12 years old But i was absolutely positive that I was going to die when I was 24 years old. I wasn't afraid and didn't panic, or anything like that. I didn't .We are all going to die one day or another, so why worry about something like that..

You are young,you can have a good life in front of you. Please don't worry about the inevitable. You'll probably live to a ripe old age. I know it's hard sometimes..We all panic in different ways. I have a job to walk ,but when I panic I'll get up off the Settee and literally RUN from the Living Room to the Kitchen,,and i can't stop until I run into something. Then I'm stuck.

So please go try and enjoy your life.

Live, Love and Laugh , youve loads of fun and laughter to have. Go grab it while you can. Im 76 years old....

But I Lost my Beloved Brother when he was 24 years old.

How Uncanny is that ???.

[hypercat54]

Hi you are suffering from health anxiety formally called hypochondria. Look at previous posts on here and you will find it is very common and the symptoms other sufferers have.

There are lots of good videos on YouTube which should help you. Are you on any meds or having any counselling? x

[mayaohh in reply to hypercat54]

Hi thank you. I am on anxiety medication I just started about 2 weeks ago and I am starting to see a counselor weekly

[hypercat54 in reply to mayaohh]

Good. x

[Hidden]

My severe anxiety makes me feel like I am having a heart attack to the point that I would collapse and think I had fainted but I did not.

I even thought I would die already. But I learned later on it's the effect of just too much anxiety.

[Jeff1943]

Mayaohh, you are not in any danger, you are not going to die young: what you have described is identical to so many others here and is well-known. And you will recover.

For reasons known only to yourself you must have been under a lot of stress and worry before this illness started. This might be due to overwork, loss, disappointment, grief, toxic relationship(s), the list is endless.

Finally your nervous system had enough and became over sensitive. In this state it exaggerates all our fears, small and large, out of all proportion and also gives us strange ideas and symptoms that make us feel we are physically ill. But those symptoms, the pain in your head and light-headedness, are NOT the symptoms of physical illness they are fake symptoms produced by an over sensitive nervous system.

You did the right thing to have medical tests and sure enough nothing was found. There was nothing to find, those symptoms you describe are the result of high anxiety and over sensitivity of your nervous system.

Like so many others before you, you find it hard to believe nothing is wrong with you, you convince yourself that "they've missed something" and you go on stressing and obsessing about your pains and light headedness, and this causes more anxiety and more fear. And it is FEAR that is keeping your nerves in an over sensitised state.

Do remember that the doctors you dealt with went to medical school for 5 years whereas you went to medical school for 0 years. So be reasonable and ask yourself who is likely to be right, you or your doctors?

You can lose your fears and symptoms and recover your quiet mind and I will tell you how millions before you have done this.

First, if the stress that originally caused your high anxiety is still there you must neutralise it. This may involve you having to be ruthless and make major changes - but until you free yourself from its influence it will continue to keep your nerves over sensitised.

Second, you must stop fighting the bad feelings and constantly testing for them: fighting only causes more strain and tension, you can do without that.

Instead, accept the symptoms, the light headedness and head pains and anything else, accept them for the time being. Let them come, they may discomfort you but they cannot harm you. You will win not by the punches you give but by the punches that you take. So get used to accepting them for the moment, knowing full well they are fake so are no threat to your well being.

Accept them utterly and completely and without fear. Not for ever of course but just for the moment. They are only blips in your nerves that are experiencing anxiety overload. Why then fear a blip? Something that doesn't exist?

It's time to stop frightening yourself half to death over the mind's normal reaction to too much stress, strain and worry.

So now you know the good news, all is well and your pains and giddiness will cease as soon as you stop feeding them fear. And agree to co-exist with them for the time being.

[mayaohh in reply to Jeff1943]

I appreciate this more than I can explain, it helps a lot. Thank you so much. I know it will not get better immediately but it makes me hopeful that this will pass.

[Jeff1943 in reply to mayaohh]

Thank you mayaohh, I think you would benefit greatly from reading a short self help book titled 'Self help for your nerves' by Doctor Claire Weekes. It was written some years ago but it sets out her 'acceptance' method for recovery from anxiety disorder in all its forms which is what the advice in my post is based on. In the u.s. the identical book is titled 'Hope and help for your nerves'. The book is available new or used from Amazon and used from Ebay. I hope all goes well with your recovery.

[Ragdoll15 in reply to Jeff1943]

Great post. Everyone suffering with anxiety should read it.

[KittenMittens22]

I totally agree with Jeff1943. Anxiety and stress can cause so many physical ailments that don’t have a medical cause. Find comfort in that nothing serious was found.

I truly believe physical ailments are byproducts of emotions that we are holding onto and trying to ignore. There might be something that you are not dealing with that is coming out in physical form.

I too feel physically ill a lot and for a time I too thought I had something wrong with me. I thought “there is no way I can feel this bad and there not be something really wrong.” But now that I know it’s anxiety and stress, I try to find ways to relax when I feel sick or have a physical ailment and it helps. For example, if I’m feeling really sick and in pain after a long day of work, I know it’s stress so I soak in a nice warm bath and afterwards all my physical pain is gone and I am relaxed. You just need to try to find what works for you.

[SpiritualT]

I can relate to this post. I’ve suffered with this for nearly 8 years. It’s awful, I constantly spend my life going to hospital thinking I’m dying. I’m 35 this week and the last 8 years of my life has been rubbish.

[Spooky99 in reply to SpiritualT]

Same here!!!

[JumpingFrog]

What this sounds like is health anxiety, I have that but realise that it is anxiety and not a serious threat. Your anxiety turns mental illness into physical symptoms. It's very scary. Learning to take control of your negative thoughts will help but it's not a quick fix. Take a look at mindfulness or meditation, control your breathing, don't ignore your thoughts but label them as negative and replace them with positive thoughts. You will be ok

[TheKnightRider]

May what state do you live in? I ask because some doctors are seriously less caring and knowledgeable in certain areas clusters of our country. Also know that ‘energy follows thought’. May, go with some of your own feelings but not all of them. I recently realized that there are endocrinologists that only deal with diabetees but other deal with the 50 hormones we have. A hormone in one part of the body can create ailments in completely different places creating a domino effect. Don’t worry but try not to worry but fnd a good clinic with a known reputation where a group effort by several specialists can discuss your case together.

[deadmanwalkingSCH]

Just don't give up. The more you know about it the easier it will get. Keep talking to people that you can trust. I think about it every day and wonder when will it happen to me. I am still waiting for something to change but it never will happen.

[Spooky99]

Hi!! I was like that at a young age. Everyone called me a hypochondriac. I would hear of a disease and think “ I might have that” or “ I am going to get that”. Well let me tell you I am now 52 and have no illness that I know of. So I WASTED years worrying!!! I also became agoraphobic and alcoholic!! I’ve been in aa and sober forever. All that was a waste!!!!! Try to talk to someone! Your young. I know our thoughts get the best of us!! Everyone seems to have something..,, you probably have this anxiety. And will live forever. So try to exercise, volunteer with animals. Once you have a family that will give you more to worry about lol. Get out of yourself and stop dwelling. These are things I try!!! I wish I “ fixed” myself in my 20’s. Lol. Good luck

[Amayla]

Hi and I understand how you feel. You are so young and the chances of you dying are almost nil. I have been worrying about death since I’m 28 years old and I am still here 30 years later. I wish I hadn’t worried all those years it was a waste of time. Try not to let your thoughts control you and try To control your thoughts. Sometimes when my anxiety is high I tap my leg or I start to count until I snap out of my situation. I hope this helps a little

[Anxietyguy]

That's fear of impeding doom. A common anxiety affect. I feel like I'm going to die every time I go to sleep. Used to scare me, and I thought one day I would. But it never happened. The more it never happens, the more you'll feel better, and this fear will pass.

[MistB]

Hey, thanks for sharing. Ive delt with cronic health issues my whole life. Most of the time, because i have unique issues, the doctors have not known what was going on. Chances are if you feel this way, they are just testing the wrong thing.

Ask your doctor if maybe the issues could be a symptom of anything else not working. Maybe try to do some reaserch of your own. Whatever you do though, remember that looking it up online probably will scare you. Things that kill you have the same symptons as minor ailments. And if your not having to rush to the emergency room multiple times a week, chances are its a chronic health issue and not a faital illness.

Either way, take heart. I was sick for 10 years before they found out what caused it. You dont have to be afraid.

[tuffy33]

Slow down, Pray, it is a long process. Things will get better.