Alone

[brokenlight]

Trying something new & reaching out.

I guess that’s a positive sign.

I’m grateful that there are online resources like this.

I’ve felt so alone, hating everyone & everything.

No one understands & it feels like no one cares.

Or maybe they care “care”, but not enough to help.

I have been in a consistent depressive state since late November.

This may be the worse one ever and it feels like it’ll never end.

Day after day... darker & darker.

The very second I realize I’m awake, I dread the day before me.

I have a counselor but I feel like I can only talk about certain things.

I am a complex case & have been dealing with multiple mental health issues for decades.

I can’t find relief, I can’t find the support & comfort I need, & my thoughts continue to get darker & darker.

I’m hoping that I can find comfort & support here since I can’t find much of it in my life.

[kenster1]

hi glad your reaching out people do care we care and will do our best to support you.its best you open up as full as possible to your therapist in order to receive the best possible treatment.

[brokenlight in reply to kenster1]

Thank you so much

[tonalchemy in reply to kenster1]

I would like to echo your comment, kenster1. If there are frightful places in your inner life, then there may be great progress to be made by delving into the horrible places Probably best done with a trained therapist, though. It is too easy to wallow in places that disturb you instead of confronting them. I think most of us have had somewhat similar feelings. I know I have.

[IAMtrying]

I know exactly how you feel. Getting out of bed every morning is the hardest thing. But being in bed doesn’t help either. Nothing does. I’m right there with you..but I have to believe it will get better for us. One day at a time. I’ve found that trying to just make it day to day takes the anxiety off a little...bit much but maybe it will help you too. Try not to think too much about the future. Good vibes your way.

[brokenlight in reply to IAMtrying]

Thank you so much

[Veelala]

Hi you’re not alone!!

[brokenlight in reply to Veelala]

Thank you so much

[Veelala]

I feel the same way about talking to my counselor about certain things an now I’m understanding why I’m doing it Its because im ashamed of some of the things.It may not be your case I’m just sharing that with you

[brokenlight in reply to Veelala]

Thank you for sharing that with me.

For me, there are just some things that I don’t necessarily feel safe talking about.

But I’m working on that.

[cbgrace1980]

I am so sorry you are going through this. Good for you for reaching out for help. You can share anything you like here. How wonderful that you have a counselor, that is a major step in the right direction. Do you want to try a new counselor, one where you can tell them anything? That is a hard decision to make. I have seen several different ones, and they are certainly all different. Hang in there and keep doing the hard work you are doing!

[brokenlight]

Thank you so much.

I’m not sure... she’s a very young intern & I fear that my case is bigger than she can maybe handle.

I saw my old therapist for 3 years but his practice blew up during the year that I decided I could handle things on my own.

I’m not sure what I want to do yet... but I appreciate your words & this community.

[dore13]

I am glad you are trying to recover. Hate only hurts you and others. There is a saying, Only hurting people, hurt people. The hard part is to get through the healing enough to like who you are as a person, and to make amends to those you've hurt because you were in pain. I think in doing that, you may find relief, or peace, or even support. If you don't take the time to care about others, why would they take the time to support you?

[brokenlight]

Thank you for your response dore13.

That’s very true & I appreciate your reminders & perspective.

[bluelemon]

I just joined this website today because I've been feeling this same way. Feeling very heavy and most times it's hard to feel like there's ever an end. Hopefully this online community can be a helpful support for us both. Much love to you.

[brokenlight in reply to bluelemon]

Thank you bluelemon.

Welcome and best of luck to us both 💫

Much love ✨