Why!?!?

[MusicLover01]

So 2 years ago (my freshman year) I met this boy, Kaydon. At first I hated him so much but after him following me around and annoying me for a few weeks I learned to love him. After a while we started going out. He was one of my beat friends and I talked to him about anything and everything. He was the first person I told about my depression. And he told me about a surgery he had when he was young. We trusted each other and I never told anyone anything that he told me. After 6 months of dating my anxiety started getting worse and so did my depression. I didn’t want to pull him down so I ended our relationship. I was a dumb kid and for some reason I thought it would be better for the both of us if I just distanced myself from him. I told him I didn’t love him and that I just wanted him to be out of my life. A week later I realized that I had messed up so I came clean and told him everything and how I lied about not loving him. He stopped talking to me and so did my other friend who I had known since 4th grade at the same time my best girl friend was moving away. I started self harming and fell into a super deep depression. About a year later this guy starts flirting with me again and bringing back old feelings just to tell me that he couldn’t trust me and therefore couldn’t be in a relationship with me. Well we started talking again about a month or two later and we were good friends again for a while. Then he just randomly started ignoring me and acting like I don’t exist. I just had a guy cheat on me and then break up with me and I could always go to Kaydon for moral support so like the idiot I am I texted him asking if we could still be friends. He texted back I gave you 2 chances already I’m not giving you a 3rd. Mind you that he stopped talking to me for no reason I asked what I did wrong the second time and he responded with “I don’t want to bring back bad memories” I really have no idea what I did wrong I always tried to be there for him and tried not to do anything wrong since I didn’t want to loose him again. Did he just stop talking to me for no reason and if he didn’t then why can’t he tell me straight up. I just wanted someone to talk to who knew everything about me already. He is one of only two people that can touch me when I’m having a panic attack and he has been the one who has talked me out of suicide dozens of times. I just don’t know why he stopped talking to me and pretending that I’m not there.......................................... rant over

[enigmaticide]

It's clear that, at one point you were important to him and perhaps THE most important person in his life. When someone's permitted to become that close, those two can be both the best and worst for one another. When you ended your relationship with him, the scars you had made ran deep. His continued distance is a defense mechanism; part of him may still long for what once was, but the trust to attain that unity may never be truly possible. It may be that the best you can do is learn from this experience and, in your future relationships, place MORE trust in the other person to be strong enough to support and understand you when you struggle. No one shall stick around when they're being pushed away.

[Hidden]

Sad to say you pushed him away and that must have really hurt especially when He had been with you the second time and confided in him.

He is protecting himself and is frightened to become involved with the baggage you have.

Your attitude and mental Health will concern Him, He will be worried you will through His love He had for you away.

Move and learn from your errors, welcome to the world of bruised feelings.

BOB