Helping my daughter live

[eakfest]

My 24 year old daughter was diagnosed with cystic fibrosis at age 12. She always said she was fine with the diagnosis. Not worried. Now at age 24, she has had a major breakdown and is barely getting through each day. Her depression and anxiety has taken over. She has tried several medications, most of which just turned her into a zombie. She has been hospitalized and has seen therapists, psychiatrists, psychologists, and counselors. I don't know how much longer I can watch this horrible monster destroy my child. I don't understand a world where we have so many people fighting depression and anxiety. What is going on? What are we doing wrong?

Now I'm reading that it could take months OR LONGER for her to feel ok??? I don't think either one of us can do this much longer. How can my daughter have to deal with cystic fibrosis, endometriosis, autoimmune deficiency and such severe depression and anxiety that I find her just sitting on the couch with her coat, in the dark, no tv, no phone... just sitting there... or that she's texting me in the middle of the night from the living room because she needs me to come sit with her. She's hardly eating, hardly sleeping, not taking care of herself or her cats. She stopped going to school with only 6 months left until she graduates and I have no idea how the student loans are going to get paid because she says she can't work. This can't go on for months! I just don't know what to do anymore...

[Justswimming]

I'm sorry she's suffering ...she needs you to push her get her to a shower..go out for something she enjoys maybe good coffee..she needs to not isolate talk to friends go to movie small steps music helps she needs to listen to music she likes ....exercise helps she'll get feel good endorphins...sleep is important.. 8 hrs..not 2 or 20..you can help her reach out and care for herself get Mani pedis..or a massage ..get outside..make something go paint a mug get her off couch and engaging ..sun lite in the morning..get a light box at least 10,000 lumens and have her in front of it 20 mins in morning start small walks around block in the morning ..so glad she has someone willing to help...you get depression is a disease...volunteer ing when she feels better will help her self esteem ..sometimes people with depression have low B12, D or calcium levels..she will feel better ..its a big life step finishing school so she was getting really close..life isn't on a time clock ..don't freakout about loans..praying for you guys please let me know how she's doing..

[eakfest in reply to Justswimming]

I've been pushing her and so have her friends. Her friends have mostly disappeared, though. It's been exhausting for everyone involved and just putting a dark cloud over everyone. She gets nasty when I try to talk to her. She doesn't seem willing to try to beat this. She is too willing to sit in her darkness. She says she wants help but I think she expects an instant fix... a drug or something. I kind of feel like, since her cf diagnosis, everyone has been tiptoeing around her, coddling her, making her life easy. I feel like she needs someone to come in and say "it's time to take control of this, get angry and fight this! Nobody else can fix it for you... you need to beat this".

I am also fairly confident that she has an auto immune disease that is affecting her mental state but we can't get anyone to listen because of her cf. Everything gets blamed on the cf. She also just found out in August that she has severe endometriosis but getting in to see a specialist to have the growths removed is taking forever. She went to the er with what we thought was an appendicitis. THey sent her for surgery and found that it was a ruptured ovarian cyst. They also found that her organs were wrapped with the growths from the endo.. some organs moved out of place completely. She still has pain from that. She has join pain, horrible eczema, hair loss, join pain and swelling, dizzy spells... every day is just horrible for her. It is just so unfair.

[Justswimming in reply to eakfest]

Well I know I suffer from depression and my sisters won't answer the phone when I call sometimes..you can't let her get you down ...there are always worse things she could have...she ultimately is the one that has to agree to plan of treatment..Don't just let her pity herself.. Give her a kick in the butt to get moving ..are you sure she is taking meds? Birth control pills will help.with the cysts..depressed people need hope that they won't feel that way forever

Just a short 5 or 10 minutes everyday helps even if she just listens to you describe your day ...you have to watch for signs she's suicidal

[b1b1b1]

If all that you say has been medically confirmed, it seems to me that she is physically quite ill. I would attempt to get a very good internist who can help to sort out all of these problems, one by one, and who can refer her to the appropriate specialists. The internist should also monitor and keep tabs on how the work of the specialists is going on. With all of these problems it seems understandable that she is very depressed. The depression may lift if some of the medical problems are resolved. Seeing a psychiatrist, among other specialists may also help.

[eakfest in reply to b1b1b1]

The cystic fibrosis and endometriosis are confirmed and she does see specialists. She also sees a psychiatrist. The problem that is the biggest right now is the symptoms that keep getting passed off as cf but I don't think they are. Even if they are, we need to treat them better to give her some relief because, yes.... these issues are what made her spiral into the condition that she is currently in. We have been to urologists, rheumatologists, dermatologists, gastroenterologists, pulmonologists... She never had a general practitioner or internist because she just always saw her cf doctor for everything.

It's also difficult because she goes to the appointments by herself and I'm not sure she advocates enough for herself. I am hoping to get some help from her newest specialist, an endocrinologist because I just have a gut feeling she has Lupus. It is very common in people with CF.

[b1b1b1]

Perhaps you should insist on going to the doctors with her. It might give you a better understanding of what is going on and would enable you to advocate for her.