Why do we seek approval? Why? I’m always doing it and I just asked myself “why do I need people to validate me?”
I need to stop. I know I don’t need anyone’s approval. This is just really hard and I’m having a hard time.
Does anyone else get bothered when someone unfollows them or unfriends them; even if it’s not a person you particular aren’t bothered by?
I hate being this way! I’m so frustrated so with myself. I feel so stupid.
You are always on your own. I have learned that over the years. Be yourself, take care of yourself and carve your own future. No one else really cares. Live for you and any children. Other than that, you are on your own.
Because its nice to be approved of, and definitely a nicer experience than being disapproved of. It only becomes a problem when it becomes something we can't cope without, and especially when it becomes more important to our sense of self worth than our own acceptance of ourselves and appreciation of our positive qualities.
I think that’s my biggest struggle; accepting myself. I think if I was to fully accept myself and love myself fully, I would not care as much about other people’s approval.
Yeah I know this on the level of intellect and logic, I know for the ironic reason that people have told me that I do have some good qualities but actually getting to that place and feeling it, not even close! I'll keep working on it though, I may never get there completely but I know I won't if I don't try right?
There’s a good book, The Four Agreements. It’s an interesting perspective on how people are socialized into conformity. It has some strong opinions about social structures and human behaviors. It’s an enlightening book, but as with everything please consider the ideas with moderation.
Best wishes!
Please don't get frustrated with yourself. I do agree with Melhall that we need to take care of ourselves and in my experience as well no one truly cares and has our best interests in mind. I let go of peoples opinions and their approval over a year ago. I stay off of social media and have unfollowed people because I found their "idealic happy life posts" useless to me for a number of reasons. Last month, someone I unfollowed months ago (bc their past comments were not very supportive) blasted me via text over it on my bday of all days. Honestly, it hurt at first but the more I thought about it they hadn't even realized that I vanished from the site, and instead of calling me to say hey I tried to post and couldn't, what's up, are you/we ok - instead they send a inflammatory txt. I choose not to engage their drama and I feel better for it. I'm sure if I let myself get drawn into their perceived drama I would have felt even worse. Just a personal form of self care for me.
Did you have highly critical parents? My Mother was extremely critical and I had such low self esteem. I never thought I was good enough. Therapy helped me recognize I needed to only please myself. As I took on challenges in life I slowly built up my sense of self. I also stay away from negative people. I do think when we are surrounded by the negative we absorb it. You can change your perception, it takes awhile. Like forever. I still work on it.
I could have written your reply Pam.... x
Can you imagine how you would have turned out if you started life whole and didn't have to play catch up ? We would have been awesomer.
I really understand what you are saying. And it is okay to feel this way, do not get frustrated! Everything is going to turn out alright. For now, try to forget about others and focus on the positive things. That's what I am trying to do. It might seem hard, but it's going to be okay 
First of all, don't feel stupid. It is our human nature to want people to accept and like us. I am absolutely, like that! But, we cannot find our own self worth in what others think or say about us. You are loved... know that and believe that. And, love yourself. If you don't truly love yourself, you will to be able to be fully loved. You can only be loved by others to the extent that you love yourself. You are amazing and so likable! know and believe that! HUGS!
I think it’s normal to want acceptance and approval. Human survival was built on groups working together and continues to thrive on it. So of course we want to feel accepted and approval is probably a big part of that. I’m working very hard right now on self acceptance. I’ve been very hard on myself. Do you think we attract negativity because of this? I’ve been wondering if I do that. I want to attract positivity so I think I should do things like smile and be positive and move on when someone doesn’t share the same with me in return.
How do I find the Joy in life?
Trying to explain feelings...
How can I love others when I can’t love myself?
New to anxiety
