A bit more hopeful

[Mrspjsmom]

Saw my therapist this morning. Through my tears I was able to get out how horrible I am feeling and how upset I am with myself for backsliding when I had been doing better. I was physically shaking but listened as she helped me realize I have many people in my life that I have to interact with. These people make me feel stupid, lazy, worthless and I am always wrong. Due to illness I have lost two very important people in my support system at least for the time being. So with her help we are going to try once again for me to find a way to build my self esteem up enough that I can deal with the people I wish I could avoid. Going to therapy wiped me out but at least I have a little bit of hope again.

[Agora1]

xx

[Annabelle61]

I’m so glad you were able to go to your therapist- it always leaves me a little worse for the wear initially after a tough session but the take away makes it worth it ! Sending you positive thoughts today and peace for your journey xo

[Hidden]

Aw I feel for you...even if they're baby steps...it's still steps moving forward...I'm proud of you because this took it all out of you....you go! Try to think of some positive thoughts about yourself...

I wish you all the best with this....keep your power..

Dump trucks of groovy love, peace, light, joy and hugs for you!

[Sprinkle1]

Yes therapy can make us feel beaten up and tired, to me it is because of the growth, throwing off old belief systems. Keep on going, you deserve to be whole and not let other people influence how you feel about yourself. As I learnt almost 40 years ago, we need to be inner directed (that means out own thoughts and beliefs) Not outer directed, where we listen to others who would put us down, that is all lies, they are saying more about themselves than about you, no one knows you like You do. So believe in yourself, love yourself, find joy in your life everyday, sounds like you have a good therapist, for which I am glad. I have a wonderful lady, she has done so much to bring me out of a 3 year struggle with depression/anxiety/suicidal thoughts. My brain was worn out and needed to be replenished, she gives me confidence, love and comfort, I am feeling alive again now, I do not give a damn about what others say about me, they do not pay my bills. She makes me hot chocolate and gives me big hugs, how lucky could I get? Keep on going to your therapist, let her teach you valuable lessons that will last a life time. All I can think of for right now, I send your strength, courage, love an big hugs....Sprinkle 1....

[kenster1]

hi glad to hear you went along sure hope after a few visits things become easier for you.

[NWGal]

Oh I'm always wiped out after a therapist appointment! Therapy is always uncomfortable to me because I'm going on a much needed journey I'd rather avoid. But it's worth it and I'm worth it! Hope loving yourself more will increase that damaged self esteem! Sending good karma friend!

[searay]

I understand completely how you feel. I get so annoyed with myself when I backslide. I can go for so long and then suddenly "bam" there it is again. Intellectually I tell myself that I will always have this condition, so it is only logical that it may rear its ugly head again from time to time. But, emotionally it is a different story. I tell myself I have gotten it under control before and I can do it again. The problem is I never know how long it is going to take me. So I just have to take it one day at a time.

[Mrspjsmom in reply to searay]

I always seem to be in a battle between logical and emotional. But you're right I have faced this battle before and can do it again. One day at a time or one hour at a time if I need to.

[pink318]

Hello,

I’m glad you were able to see your therapists today.

Praying for you that things will go well with you and you will stay strong each day.

Take care, please keep us posted.