Basically I'm just a mess at the moment... I am really really trying to hold it together but I am at the stage where I constantly feel sick and on the verge of tears, every time someone asks who I am it takes all of my strength not to have a total meltdown. If I start crying its for hours and I feel completely drained for days afterwards.
I got diagnosed with Crohn's disease in December after a year of being told it was just a bad flare up of the endometriosis I already suffer with. I ended up being admitted to hospital for a week which was traumatic as I was in a room on my own for 20-23 hours a day sicker than I have ever been in my life. The room just makes me think of death it was awful.
Because I had been sick for so long I had a flexible working arrangement with my boss where I was pretty much working from home full time, I find out 2 weeks ago my work is going into liquidation so bye bye job. I had been working at the company for 8 years.
I have a significant amount of debt, nothing dramatic but enough that I need to work as my partners income won't cover it.
Im too sick to be able to work in an office full time but not sick enough to not work. So I'm worrying about how I'll find a new job as well, I have to go and sign on in the UK job centre because I'm unemployed and then they'll make me apply for loads of jobs which I don't know if I will be able to cope with doing.
I feel so down and its like I went from being this productive relatively healthy person with a great job to an invalid. I'm on medication which has made my face blow up like a balloon, can barely eat anything, am in pain everyday and have a million hospital appointments I need to go to as well as now needing to find a new job. My symptoms are worse when I get down or stressed but I feel like there are too many things going on right now to be able to control it.
Im just looking for some advice really of what anyone would do to try and get my head together so I can sort out my health and life or what you would do about the issues I'm having with them ie finding a job & sorting out health?
Thanks xx
Written by
arielseamermaid
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I do I have a wonderful other half who has said to take some time off to get better and other family have agreed but this could put a strain on us financially as we don’t have masses of savings
You really have gone through so much. You seem to have put so much effort into keeping going and now you are without a job and don't really have the energy to find a new one. It can all seem too much. I feel for you and wish for you to find the strength to pull through. Infliximab has worked wonders for someone that I know who has Crohn's.
It is really quite a lot to deal with all at once.
Here is a thought that comes to mind that may help you, if you haven't done this already. You might want to write down all the things that are swirling around in your head on a piece of paper. That way you can look at them from a bit of a distance. You can see them as individual items rather than one big stress issue. You can then maybe make a mark next to those things that are really urgent and those things that are less.
I wish you a return to better health very soon.
You can claim ESA for sickness, even if it's for a few months while it recovering, with ,8 years in your last job, you should get a job pretty easy once your up for work again
Your doctor will need to give you a sick note. If it's just to tide you over if your recovery his short, you will be fine, I think it only becomes problematic if your on it for more than a few months, it weird because I went on it when I had my first really bad phase and they harrass me like hell and rushed me to go bk to work. Then the second time 8 years later, I had an interview and I told her I know I just need a few months to get better mentally, I got signed off for 2 years, K was back in work 2 months after that if not less. I know with my mental health issues, I have to work otherwise it consumes me and money problems make it worse. Go to your docs and ask them if they can sign you off for your recovery, make an applicatiion.
Apply to ESA not the jobcentre. First thing get a sick note then apply for ESA. If your struggling mentally and physically, being pushed into things will make you worse. I remember them taking me off ESA and putting me on jobseekers, I was crying my heart out in the jobcentre, the woman said you really shouldn't be here, I did get a job 2 weeks later, what a rollercoaster that was lol
Also, I'm not sure what kind of debt your in but therefore options. Such as debt relief order. I almost applied for one, but something in my head at that time was telling me if I did it, I wouldn't be motivated to work again. I managed to clear my debt eventually, which took a massive weight off my mind, it's a vicious cycle illness-debt-depression-anxiety-insomnia-recovery it goes round and round
Hi this is a tricky situation. If I was you I would get myself signed off by a doctor until you feel better. If you have been working the last 2/3 tax years and paid National Insurance then you should qualify for contribution based benefit which is around £73 a week. Not a fortune but it should see you through. You would have to face an assessment within 13 weeks but you might get into the support group which is around £120 a week.
If all else fails and you have to sign back on JSA get a letter from your doctor saying you can only work x number of hours a week and can only do certain types of jobs. The jobcentre will keep this on file and it will take some of the pressure off you. I did this when I had to sign on a few years ago.
You can also ask to see the disability advisor at the Jobcentre. Have a look at the Govt. site too. Good luck. x
Thanks! I have to claim redundancy and outstanding pay from the RPS service do you know if going onto ESA will effect that? I’m just so down at the moment I can’t even get my head straight
Don't forget that you have a diagnosis. When you go to apply for benefits etc, you are really unwell. Call citizen's advice and check out everything you are entitled to. Call people that you can't pay and tell them your situation, there are possibly says to buy some time or pay a small amount until you get on your feet. I hope you get sorted asap, lean on your other half and family and friends to help you get through this. Good luck with everything.
Ps I used to work in the civil service in a contact centre so if I can help further don't hesitate to pm me (to do this click on my name -pm stands for private message). x
Sorry to hear that you are having some health challenges. I hope that you can get some benefits to cover some of your expenses. Try to take one day at a time and don't think too far ahead into the future.
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Oh how the gods love to mess with me
I’m messed up 
My life is a mess
