A bit of support

[tashalyn]

So I am back again

I know I haven’t posted in a while

So major updates on the last couple of months

I was started on an antipsychotic which elevated my symptoms like magic

It hasn’t been since May that I experienced any symptom

But the last past month I did something horrible

I have started an affair with a married man

Married to a woman I know

It’s horrible it’s bad judge me all you want

But all I feel all the time is paranoia

Guilt

I have been sleeping 14-16 hours a day

The guy is also a drug addict so I have been experiencing with him different drugs

I know am spiraling out of control but I don’t know how to stop

Most importantly I need someone to talk to

I can’t tell anyone in my life about all this

[tashalyn]

Please I need someone to talk to

[Hidden in reply to tashalyn]

I know how you feel but all the bad that comes out of affairs and esp drug use is not worth it. Take care of you and F that man...he is not a good person if he is leading you into a life like that. They just want fun time away from the wife but we are the ones that end up hurt , full of guilt and feel used. You deserve better please take care yourself

[tashalyn in reply to Hidden]

You are so right indeed F him something even worst happened last night I will write the update down in the post, thank you so much for replying apperciate it a lot babes

[Hidden in reply to tashalyn]

I hope you are okay... We are here for you. Im here if you ever need to talk about anything. 🌺☺

[Julie_z]

Guilt can definitely cause some anxiety. The good thing is it sounds like you’re resentful of the situation. You are still in time to turn your drug use around! Don’t give up!!! Acceptance is the first step.

[tashalyn in reply to Julie_z]

I want to be able to stop picking up his calls I want to feel safe again I feel I lost my ability to be grounded

[AZ1970]

You are to be commended for being honest and opening up here. Secrecy is toxic. It’s hard to get a handle on things when drugs are involved. In my opinion, big measures are what will keep you safe. Can you talk to your doctor? Is it possible you’ve been manic? As hard as it is, you need to cut off contact with this person. He could cause you even more harm. Please take care of yourself. You are worth it.

[tashalyn in reply to AZ1970]

I hate secrecy it always leads up to problems, yes I think I should talk to my doctor I am suspecting I could be going Maniac too, specially that I have not being compliant with my meds since the drug use, thanks for replying babes

[tashalyn]

So a quick update, last night they were on a drug binge that I decided not to participate in, I kept asking to be dropped home, and thanks god I did, two of them got into two separate car accidents, one very severe that the car got canceled the guy also got into a car accident and was picked up by the police am so grateful I left, he is been calling all day and am fighting with every inch not to pick up, I think I should start seeing my doctor again

[AZ1970 in reply to tashalyn]

Thank you for the update. Stay strong. It appears you are being given an out. Take advantage of the chance to break ties with him. Please be safe. Call your doctor.