Am I too needy?

[jjsangel]

I always feel like I shouldn’t burden my family with my health problems. But then they don’t understand when I’m in pain from fibromyalgia or when I’m too depressed to get boot off bed or do housework. My apathy level has increased greatly. I just don’t care. I’m severely ocd and lately my house has been a wreck. I’ve tried doing my check lists out having my kids help but I just don’t even care enough to ask for help. It’s odd that the mess doesn’t bother me. They have increased my meds and added to them as well and it doesn’t seem to help. I’ve been on the same meds for five years and of my meds I’m straight evil. I can’t go off my meds for them to change me to try something else, I’m too scared I’d try to hurt someone or myself again. Suicidal thoughts are a constant and always have been with me. Yes I’ve tried several turned and the last time was almost successful. I can still feel myself slipping away before I got to the er. But I don’t care enough to tell the deer C and I’m too scared to go off my meds. Please tell me someone else comes through this as well.

[YogaLife]

Even when feeling okay I have deep depression lurking around me. I try to remember tomorrow is a new day. Maybe if you plan something you can look forward to would help. Also I think having a good breakfast is important so you have energy to meet the day. These things usually help me but some days I feel like it is too much effort to try. My daughters doctor told her to get out of the house more. Plan where you will go when you get up, and do it. I wish you great luck and happiness.

[jjsangel in reply to YogaLife]

Thank you. I’m agoraphobic too so leaving house is easier said than done. Thank you. Even getting it off my chest and talking to you guys helps. Thank you.

[BonnieSue]

Hi jjsangel,

I'm sorry you're feeling so down and out of it. I've been there and am far far better today, so, yes(!!), it gets better. It gets better because we keep trying stuff out that's good for us until they work for us. Like you know you need to take your meds. So do I.

Do you have the new crisis text line number? It's 741741 jic you need it. If you want to know more about it, check it out at crisistextline.org/texting-in. And the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1.800.273.8255. Why do I bother telling you this? Because I care. Because I know what it is to want to die but I know how wonderful life is for me now...and I needed someone to tell me it could be great again. So I'm telling you. You CAN get better if you keep at it, keep trying, even though you're tired and want to quit.

You can transfer over sometimes to another drug without going down much or totally off your current drug at all. Ask your doctor about that, ok? Sometimes I've changed drugs with no dose decrease, no loss of covering my depression! Check it out. Try not to hurt yourself...having hope is very important for that. Take hope in what I just said. Try to have something you like to look forward to, no matter how small it is..as long as you do look forward to it. That's hope. Please take good care of yourself...you are important.

Hugs, Love, and Blessings...🥰🌿☀️🐬🏖🐬💜

[jjsangel in reply to BonnieSue]

Thank you. I’m a little over emotional right now so it really made me tear up. Thank you. This site has really helped me.

[Cassie2178]

Depression is horrible. I'm so sorry you are struggling with this. You definitely don't need to go off your meds but you may need to see a new doctor who can find a better combination for your physical and emotional health. Sometimes we need a new doctor. There is no shame in getting a second opinion and it could save your life. It is vitally important for your children to see their mom doing her best to get better. I know you are trying, so no condemnation. I have seen this problem first hand and was amazed at the difference a second opinion made. Also, you can find health related counselors who speak to your emotional health while being in communication with your physician. I hope you will consider a second opinion this week. Best to you as you continue to press toward healing.

[NeuronerdDoaty]

Well I have always had ‘step to the other side’ thoughts; all my life. Escapism is lovely and I’ve had multiple brain traumas so it’s normal. They’re just thoughts so I don’t pay much attention to them.

As for apathy, you can’t always be pumped up. The world is not that exciting. You have to figure out a way to get things done even if you don’t care. Like dusting my house. I make brains work in real life. Then I come home to laundry, dishes and dusting?!?! Puhleeze! Definitely on my apathy scale. But I’m also on a quest to try every ice cream in Richmond Virginia and surrounding areas. That is not on the apathy scale.

For every dull boring thing we do because we’re adulting I believe we should balance it with childing. Life is better that way.

Let me hear you treat yourself to childing.

(I make up words.)

Take care of yourself.

Doaty💛