Can we care from a distance - Anxiety and Depre...

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Can we care from a distance

Callmedanielle
Callmedanielle

I have been doubting if I’m a good friend for a few weeks now, I have been in my lowest before and showered with love and understanding from my friends on here and I have always tried my best to return the love, yet for the past days my fear of getting triggered have made me keep my distance especially now since mentally I’m not strong enough to help, if these friends have always been there for me why can’t I do the same, doesn’t that make me a horrible friend to have...I fold myself in a corner afraid to reach out them, I know we’re both on the edge but I’m scared I’ll fall while trying to help you stay up. I’m sorry and honestly anyone deserve a better friend than me

39 Replies
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You are doing what is right and safe for you. You are a great friend. Your words express what your beautiful heart feels. Your friends can feel your love vibes when you are not right there. Love you! 😘

🌻 🌻 thank you, I saw you were going through a really bad time I’m sorry I couldn’t be there, I’m doing much better now I hope you are too

Yes I am so glad for both of us. 🌻

Hi you do give to a lot of people on here so please don't think otherwise. There are times when we can give and others when we need to take. That's fine and I think all of us understand that. I wonder if you feel you are not worthy of help or kindness? You are and we will always validate you. Hugs xx

I admit sometimes I don’t feel worthy of people’s friendships cause they give more than I, and I truly hope they forgive me when I cannot do the same

I believe everyone here wants you to feel great and not get triggered. That's why they helped you. If you feel staying away is the best, you should do that. I believe your friends will want to see you happy and trust me, being happy will make them happy. Stay fine, dear, you're a good person.

Thank you, I really appreciate your words and yes that’s why I took a month off the site I wasn’t doing well

I feel the same way Hun... been so bad at reaching out to people these past few months... so hard when we are sitting in the dark. We have to trust people understand...true friends do. You've been there for me (I'm sure others)... you are not a bad friend...love ya Sunflower 😘🌻💗 PS. Give Spidey some love from me.

🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻 Mellllll, love you too hun spidey sends you his love

💗💗💗 So good to see you & Spidey 🌻🌻🌻 It's chocolate season, hope you are enjoying it. 😃 Hear they even have a pumpkin spice Kit Kat.

You are doing what you need to do to take care of yourself, and that is all that matters. You are a wonderful friend. Love you. 💛🌻

🌻🌻🌻 we still need to have our Netflix and chill day hun, hope you’ve been doing okay pm me

Danielle, "ditto" to bluestars response to you. You do not have to prove

your friendship or who you are. You are a beautiful loving person who needs

a little "me time" right now. We understand and love you. :) xx

💜💜 I appreciate the understanding from my friends, I’ll always try my best to be there when I can. Can’t give good advice from a dark place

The sun will come out soon Danielle :) xx

Hidden
Hidden

Having these types of feelings are very natural given that you have your own monsters to face. The fact that you mentioned all of this shows how much of a loving person you are. If you didn't care, you wouldn't have expressed concern in the first place. Please don't beat yourself up too harshly. You can only be you and give what you can. People who care about you will understand that.

I really appreciate all the other replies and agree with everything they have said. Hang in there, this awful feeling won't last forever, I promise.

Callmedanielle
Callmedanielle in reply to Hidden

🌻💜 thanks hun I just felt bad I couldn’t be there

You said some kind words to me before on one of my posts a few days ago. And I thought wow she is a very caring person. I mean anyone who said nice things to me on my post is caring. I think we just try the best we can to help others out that are going through the same thing or stuff similar. We may not always have the strength or best advice for anyone that is suffering some kind of mental disorder,but all we can do is try our best, and if it gets to much when trying to help someone out,you take some time to stop and collect yourself, focus on you. I know everyone is suffering some kind of difficult situation,but there are other people who can try to help each other. Don't try to take on the world. We can try our best to save everyone,but don't lose yourself while doing it. From a few times you posted and talked to me I thought you were a very caring person going out of her way to really reach out and help, and you did. Thank you for that. Im just trying to help you out now. I don't know you personally but I think your a great friend. Don't worry about it too much your doing the best you can and I think that is amazing. Anyway God Bless!

Hidden
Hidden in reply to FaithWarrior

Hello?

FaithWarrior
FaithWarrior in reply to Hidden

We have discussed the things you brought up. And I tried my best to help you I really did. But the thing you believe in is really harsh and not right. I'm not trying to put you down or judge you, I won't bring up our conversation here because I don't want to trigger people and have your beliefs thrown out there when your not ready to share with everyone. But I'm trying to help out the original poster here. I don't want drama.

Thank you and so are you I meant every word, sending you hugs

Hidden
Hidden

🤗 it’s all good. We are all here. We understand if you need space.

youtu.be/wHNB8IHfHdU

Callmedanielle
Callmedanielle in reply to Hidden

Where did u go why this said hidden

Hi Danielle you are and always will be a friend to many in here I speak for my self when I say that when I try to help you when you need qto be helped I'm not doing it in the expectation that you will always me able to help you can't be there for everyone all of the time but where you can know it's very much appreciated! Please take care david xx

💜 David💜 thank you for always being there

Your most welcome take care david x

You are a beautiful and wonderful person. Just hearing from you makes me smile. That doesn't even require direct communication! You are much beloved by your friends on this site. Do you think we hold it against you when you feel down?! Heck no! I think you're an awesome friend to have! Hang in there, D because everyone is behind you all the way!

🌻🌻🥰 JEG325 so blessed to have you as a friend

Likewise, D! Likewise....

I agree with all the replies, it’s understandable if you can’t deal with certain topics of conversations right now, take care of yourself for now we all understand and love you

I identify with the guilt about not being there for some of my close friends. Whenever we talked I sounded like a broken record. “I’m sad.” “I’m afraid.” Over and over. I didn’t think I had anything to give them, but I was giving them the ultimate gift- an honest me. I told them all (like I said the close peeps) that I was sorry I didn’t feel I was being a good friend, and they all basically said the same thing. That I had always been there for them in the past and it was their turn to help me. And through their support, they did. I’ve started feeling a bit like my old self and found I have much more to give, after the deep dark hole of despair. Good luck. Lynne

That’s exactly how I was feeling, the guilt of not being able to be there when they were going through a hard time. Hope you’re doing ok sweetie

I’m doing well. A couple of months since the year and a half breakdown and the meds and counseling appear to be working. Hallelujah. Still a bit shaky, wondering if I’m going to fall into that black hole again, but so far so good. A day at a time. How are you? Missed you

I know exactly what you mean. I have felt guilty for not asking how a good friend is doing. But I agree with all responses above.....we do what we can to help ourselves first. When we are in a better place, we’ll be able to support others. But, right now, we just can’t. And that’s okay. 💕

💜💜💜 thank you

Are you alright sent you a pm 2 weeks ago

I just came back again n replying to pms thank you for checking up on me

((((((((((Callmedanielle)))))))))))

You aren't being a bad friend, just reasonably cautious. I'm sure most people prefer that you don't upset yourself or burden yourself when you already feel bad. Good friends would rather just hope you are doing ok and wish you well, even if you don't respond to posts for awhile.

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