Career Advice: Every time I talk to my... - Anxiety and Depre...

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sarahmcf profile image
25 Replies

Every time I talk to my family about my job they just say “it’s a job and you need to pay your bills” there is not a lot of ambition from the people in my family or strive to enjoy your work. I’ve been at my job a little over a year. I’ve hated it since about three months in. I have 7 classes left to finish two bachelors degrees that will provide a lot of other opportunity for me but that will take the whole year of 2020. AND I just found out that pretty much the only two people at my work that I felt good about have left. (One of which was a huge shock as she was management) I do not want to go back. I know that I don’t want to work there. But should I go back? (I’m currently on maternity leave of 3 months) should I look for something else? Should I just focus on school? These decisions worry me to no end.

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sarahmcf profile image
sarahmcf
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25 Replies

Hi. You have to do whats right for you. Whats your husband think?

sarahmcf profile image
sarahmcf in reply to

Originally he didn’t really want me to go back as we have three young kids and I am almost done with college but only having his income has been more of a struggle.

in reply tosarahmcf

What about finacial aid, grants, scholarships? Can you work part time? School partime? Having that degree in the end will open so many doors.

sarahmcf profile image
sarahmcf in reply to

I’m trying to get my financial aid worked out with my school now actually. That way I can start in January.

in reply tosarahmcf

You are doing ok. Dont just settle. That takes all the ambition away. You dont have to be miseralbe.

Mrspjsmom profile image
Mrspjsmom

If you can afford not to go back don't. Instead concentrate on your baby and school. If you have to go back see if you can work fewer hours. Be proud of yourself no matter what your family says! Working on two degrees with a baby is a major accomplishment. I am impressed by your ambition.

sarahmcf profile image
sarahmcf in reply toMrspjsmom

Thank you. That means a lot to me.

Mrspjsmom profile image
Mrspjsmom in reply tosarahmcf

Hope it helps. Just hate to see you spread yourself too thin. The added stress will almost definitely make things worse. I know from experience as I still get criticized for quitting a job f working for the state when my children were very young. The only person who understood was my husband's grandfather. He had retired from a state job but had heard from former co-workers that things had changed a great deal and it wasn't a good place to work anymore.

Mrspjsmom profile image
Mrspjsmom in reply toMrspjsmom

I believe his exact words were " good for you!" Meant so much to me that he understood.

sarahmcf profile image
sarahmcf in reply toMrspjsmom

It’s unfortunate because every one compares themselves to each other. I see women working with young kids and other various responsibilities and they seem to have it all together, but I know that I don’t and I hate to see me

jeopardize school again.

Mrspjsmom profile image
Mrspjsmom in reply tosarahmcf

Then by all means concentrate on school.

in reply tosarahmcf

Alot of times that is just an appearance. You dont see behind the doors. Dont wory about them. If nothing else make youself proud. Screw everybody else. Sorry just a little opinionated.

Okidoke profile image
Okidoke

I'm a little different in my approach to work, so I don't want you to think I'm just telling you how it is. There are a lot of ways to approach employment, for sure.

I've always treated employment as what I have to do in order to enjoy my time not at work. I don't place any value on the time spent there and don't expect to like or enjoy it or the people. (that's not to say you shouldn't perform well while you're there). That way, if someone there is terrible, it doesn't bother me. For the most part, it's been great for me because I have such low expectations. It doesn't work for everyone.

From what I read, you would rather be doing something else (concentrating on school, working elsewhere). If that's the case, you can always look for a new job while at your current one. If you'd rather focus on school, then do it. Life is too short to agonize over some job you have before you're even out of school. If it's me, I stick it out until I'm sure about what I'm doing next, but you would know best for you and your well-being.

sarahmcf profile image
sarahmcf in reply toOkidoke

I appreciate your input. Sometimes I wish I was the type of a person where a job could just be a job and it not have such a pull on my life but even as a teenager I have always been like this. You spend more time with your job and fellow co-workers than your kids, I need to at least like it or them. In this case it’s like I don’t like it or them.😂

Okidoke profile image
Okidoke in reply tosarahmcf

I have a very good friend who is the same way as you indicated. She refuses to work anywhere that isn't what she considers to be an overall positive experience for her (whether that be financially, emotionally, culturally, etc.). She does so because of many of the reasons you mention. So, yes, with that view in mind, your work life is not meeting the standard and you should do something to improve it. Everyone is different and you should do what's best for you in the long run.

Best of luck to you, I'll be rooting for you!

sarahmcf profile image
sarahmcf in reply toOkidoke

Thank you so much!

Sunshine425 profile image
Sunshine425

I say, do what makes you happy because life is too short. You have to make sure your financially stable before switching. If you can live without work for a little bit, go ahead focus on school. Or wait until you have something lined up to give your notice. 3 months is a long time, anyone would find it super hard to go back... at the end of the day... you know what is best. Try not to be influenced by others.

Sunshine425 profile image
Sunshine425 in reply toSunshine425

I love my job so much.... and its true what they say. If you love what you do, than you dont work a day in your life. Not everyone is so lucky. But you are accomplishing SO MUCH!!! you deserve a life you feel good about! Rooting for ya

sarahmcf profile image
sarahmcf in reply toSunshine425

Thank you so much for your positivity!! 🖤

quitter333 profile image
quitter333

why are you taking more different bachelor levels (which imho are like introductionary level for actual trade, like advanced highschool), and not go for Master's, or doctors?

And if job feels like shit right off the bad, I'd rather quickly look for other places.

I am pretty tough and I have had quite a lot of different jobs, and usually even if it is hard at first I am ok with hardships. But never in any job I liked I have felt I hated it that fast.

Just do something.

idk why people are so damn bent on doing something and then being super afraid of losing it. Find something what interests you and then proceed with work.

sarahmcf profile image
sarahmcf in reply toquitter333

I was pursuing my bachelors but only needed like two semesters worth of classes to get this additional bachelors which is cheaper and shorter than a masters.

Supergirl1967 profile image
Supergirl1967

Good morning Sarahmcf!

You are a smart women. Now take what you know and utilize it. Let's take a look at this picture. First, deep down I think you would feel guilty just quitting, so maybe looking for another job before quitting would allow stability. Did you discuss this with your husband or are you thinking this through without him? Gotta involve him! You can not make this decision without your partner. In all honesty, if you have not told him how you feel you can not move forward in any direction. Go to your husband and really sit down w no distractions (code name, call that Grand parents) and if you have to write out the pros and cons than do that. The idea is to make you center so you know what you really want. I am sure together the two of you can figure things out. He dies not you miserable.

What degrees are you working toward?

sarahmcf profile image
sarahmcf in reply toSupergirl1967

Human Resources and management and leadership. 7 classes left. 🤞

Supergirl1967 profile image
Supergirl1967 in reply tosarahmcf

But this is even more personal so just remember that. God bless you.

Sabio77 profile image
Sabio77

hi sarahmcf, I am happy to hear that you will have your bachelors degrees soon. that is awesome. You should probably stick it out with this job since you are almost done with your degree. besides, you do not have just you to think about anymore, you have a new baby. Make it easy on yourself and not start anything new just yet. take things in steps. think of things as ... one moment at a time, one day at a time. only accomplish what needs to be done for the moment.. as you work towards your goal of bachelors degree. then you can begin to think about furthering your job possibilities. Congrats on your new addition. Hugs let us know how you are doing. :)

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