I'm new and here is my story with anxiety

[hydroplain]

So I have been having some problems with my anxiety lately. I have done everything in the books to manage it, but right now my life is bringing it out. I guess I have always had anxiety since I was a child. I was shuffled between my mother and my grandmother as a child since my father left, and I developed separation anxiety as well as insomnia as a child and had a fear that others would leave me. As I got older, I was bullied in school which made me subconscious and socially anxious. When I was a teenager, my anxiety and insomnia got worse and progressed into depression which I finally started to see doctors to get a diagnosis of anxiety and depression. I turned to street drugs to self medicate which I finally was able to kick in my early 20s and I also managed to get my anxiety under control enough to be off of my psych medications for a few years.

Fast forward to now: I am 27 now and I can admit now that my anxiety has ruled my life. It has caused me such suffering but has also allowed me to do things that others can not. I graduated college as a chemical engineer and I am now pursing a PhD which thankfully, my anxiety makes me very productive. My current problem now though, is my anxiety was triggered by my academic stress and also my relationship. I am in a long distance relationship (2 hrs away) with a workaholic which has triggered my childhood scars. I am at a loss right now of what to do. My flight-or-fight wants me to end the relationship and move on, but my logically side knows that this is my anxiety trying to sabotage my relationship and "what if" this happens in my next one? I have addressed my concerns with my partner and I don't know if I am getting what I need to help myself through this. I am also having problems sleeping around others right now which is a very weird fear that I have realized that I have had as a child, but it was never a problem until now. My body feels as if it is in a constant uneasy state and I don't know how to ease it. I do my breathing exercises and mediation and I am also on medication but I can't ease myself.

So that's my dilemma. I feel alone right now and so I joined this forum because I am just frustrated and at a loss right now!

[Hidden]

Please don’t tAke this wrong

Academia

Tons of stress

Lots of c

Sources

ESP PhD

Feel for u

Having friends who have been there can help at least does me

Nothing meg ever implied

A friend

[Maryjels]

Hey!

I am sorry that you feel bad. But your story has a positive light in there!

I have some kind of anxiety (I think GAD but doctors did not specified it yet)

But what helps me is:

1. Anything lasts forever (so do your feelings and not nice situation)

2. Relax, meet your friends (this is the best healer for me)

[hydroplain in reply to Maryjels]

Thanks for the response!