Feeling empty

[Happiness2019]

So my husband told me that he doesn't want no affection or anything from me and that was the worst feeling I have felt

[deea21]

Hey. I’m so sorry. I can relate that for the past 2 years after a relationship of 20 years. But I start to understand that others see me as I am. I’m doing therapy and include my own space and do things just for me, making me to be glad some days and made others actually remark my presence. Change yourself to change your relationship. At least try for you and your soul. I’m here for you anytime you want. I may be wrong, but this helped me. Hugs and patience.

[mysticfawn in reply to deea21]

I'm not sure either of you should have to change the way you are for your spouse to like you again. You are the same person they stood before God and witnesses pronouncing their undying love and commitment to. I understand wanting to do all you can but there's also a time to say enough is enough. These things don't just happen overnight. You can see it coming. It might just be time to put yourselves first for a change. 😢

[All_alone]

I'm sorry and I know how hurtful that feels. I am now widowed but the last few yrs of the marriage just got worse. The things we said to each other were at times horrendous. He was very passive aggressive and there was no talking about our issues no matter how I approached it. Then something even worse occurred and I was just done with him and started thinking divorce but that didn't happen. Have you tried talking to him about why he feels this way or counseling together? It takes both of you to make things work. You are very worthy of respect and kindness. I wish you the best in this difficult time. Hugs!!

[lcs067]

I know that hurts. You must still love him. Don't know what the history of the relationship is, but if he's feeling that way, maybe you would be happier apart? No one deserves to feel alone in a relationship.

[Cmarie12]

Hi Happiness2019,

I'm sorry that you are going thru this. Rejection is hard enough but from the man that you married, that's got to be heart wrenching. I don't understand what his reasoning for saying such a thing is, I just wish that you could magically unhear it!

The fact that he thinks this is okay to say to you tells me that you are lacking in self esteem and self worth. Now is the time to get even. There are support groups or programs that help build you up, not put you down. You could join a gym or a bowling league. Put your heart ache into a positive and take charge of your feelings.

I of course know that this is easier said than done. Even if you do one thing for yourself, that would be a start. I just hope you don't spend to much time thinking that it's your fault, that if you could change for him things would be better. You need to think about yourself and if you decide to make some changes, do it for you. You are worth it, you deserve the very best!

Sending you some positivity and a virtual hug to encourage strength and hope and lots and lots of love and laughter.

Hugs,

Marie

[mysticfawn]

Happiness, no one deserves to be treated that way, especially someone you are married to. Unfortunately, my first thought is that he's found someone else. I believe the commitment of marriage is eternal however, Adltry is the deal breaker. Ask him about it, or if that's a fail, do some investigating, check up on him at odd times during the day or program his phone for GPS tracking. If he is indeed having an affair, suck it up and walk away. You're not happy with things the way they are going now so maybe it's time for a change. Of course it will be difficult but any new challenge is. It will get better with time. If that's not the issue, get to the bottom of it even if that means selling out a marriage counselor. Good luck. My thoughts are with you.

[san_ray70]

Years ago I was in the same boat as you, I asked him to come to marriage councilling but he did not want to. Eventually I listened to my friends, when he was going out he was seeing somebody else. We had been married for 18 years and I found out he had been cheating for most of it. I got a divorce years later I re married I have never been happier, good luck you deserve to be happy.

[Careyon]

That must be so hurtful. Do you know what he would feel this way, have you asked him. Do you think he would be willing to go to counseling? Either way , know your value is not determined by what another human thinks of you. I know this is a hard suggestion to take, but I would suggest you pray for him and your relationship. God has a way of working it out for your good. I know first hand.