Relapse

I haven’t felt this low in awhile. It’s been more of a stagnant low that I could somewhat manage. Now I’m getting my chest pains back and feel as if I have no hope. I really want this to end. I don’t see much point in anything anymore. I’m always tired and just want to close my eyes and never wake up again. I have no passion for anything and life is just completely blah. Nothing is really exciting anymore and I have nothing to look forward too. I just wanna go home but the problem is I have no place where my heart and soul feel ok.

[mmcg74]

I’m sorry to hear you are struggling right now. I know what it’s like to have a relapse and feel low and stagnant. I have to practice self awareness. Itcan be very very difficult, especially at first. It’s very easy to listen to your internal dialogue and believe it. It’s hard to convince yourself that you’re lying to yourself. It’s even harder to become your own safe loving place and home. Be loving to yourself. Be patient with yourself. Most of all be forgiving with yourself. That’s the hardest part for me when I suffer a relapse I get hard on myself and feel weak or less than. I tend to compare myself to others and wonder why it seems as though everyone has an easier time coping than I do, therefore I must be less than. It’s ok to struggle and to have set backs. It’s happened before and it passes. This too shall pass. You are stronger and wiser for it. You will learn something from the experience and maybe heal a little from it. Your mind is a very powerful thing, it can confuse you into thinking you are stuck where you are, but know you can change your mind. You can change your life and you can start right now. Just take a step, even a baby step is a step. And today it may just mean making yourself a cup of tea and having a hot shower. Taking care of yourself because you deserve it. Your life is your canvas that you create from moment to moment. You can recreate it at anytime. That may mean asking for help and you have come here looking for support. Look at that you’ve already taken a step 👏

[Hidden in reply to mmcg74]

Thank you very much

[Hidden]

I try my best to bottle those up and remember those feelings but they just won’t stick. I can’t come back around and recreate those feelings from memory in even the slightest bit

[Hidden]

I can relate ? You sound like you need meds. There comes a time in burn out that one just needs them. I tell myself with anything it’s good enough. Feeling anything ok is just good enough not belonging or soul thing will come. It’s hard. Animals are really good for this. If you have access to petting and animal give it a go. I walk around petting people’s dogs and cats lol. You sound like you need to love someone something to start to love yourself again.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I am on meds. Might need new ones. I need to love myself but I never really have so Idk what to do.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Well if you’re on them they’re not high enough or wrong ones. How long on your meds? Because you should be lifting by now onto other thoughts more. It’s not ok sometimes you get too run down that’s what they’re fir so you can start doing right things. So don’t blame yourself or get mad get to the doc say it’s not working.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Around 2 months or so. I’ve felt better at times but as of recently I’m just down in the muck again

[Hidden]

Around 2 months or so

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Then go back it should be doing more by now. You either need it upped or diff med.

[HypoAnna]

It's a very painful place to be....I can identify with how you are feeling. This morning I managed to go the gym and had a good work out. Then I got home and these painful feelings have not waited long to rush back, as well as this almost unbearable burning in the my chest, which is probably due the anxiety...So, the rest of the day was kind of mopping around...I just hope that it won't last too long for us...

[Hidden in reply to HypoAnna]

I understand. It’s been okay recently but everything’s just coming back with it getting darker earlier and the changing of the seasons combined with how I feel underneath. We hopefully will get through this soon