I have started this post 3 times. I know what I want to say, but not the way to say it. I want it to sound smart and clever. and put the people who I think wronged me to shame.They'll be sorry they were such jerks. Then I noticed someone else is being attacked. (strong word but that's what it feels like) It feels as though sides are being taken, lines drawn , nit picking, ugly things said. etc. It makes me feel bad, angry My lovely sense of belonging is gone, my safe place in jeopardy . Why ?
Never mind how it makes you feel, it stops you from helping others. Not everyone tries to do that ,but it is basic to this site. you help ,you are helped. The people who feel this offer time and effort the others offer meanness and cheap shots. They go beyond I feel your pain to I am your pain. I want to see how some of you respond then I'll write more .
Written by
sweetiepye
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The person who is attacking us is still, THIS MOMENT, attacking my fiancé, JEG325, on a pm with just him present. She won't stop being mean and nasty to him. He just listens and tries to keep some kind of peace because he wants to stay here onsite. That's very frustrating to me because he is triggered by her verbal abuse and he needs to stop listening to her rants. His mood is going downward ever downward as she keeps chewing him out. This is not good, it's dangerous.
But Admin has removed my post because why?? Why?? I don't understand. Beware, sweetiepye, they'll remove yours, too, probably because of me saying these truths. Everything I've said here is the TRUTH. Why does Admin want to cover her abuse up and not protect JEG325? Are they prejudiced against him? Is he not a human being whom they should protect every bit as much as people who complain and want to put blame on him that isn't even true? I had him copy his pm with this problem abuser for evidence of her abuse. It's all saved!! We have evidence!! I challenge Admin to do justice for JEG325 the same and equally as any other member here, even those who don't give so generously of their time. Can they handle this issue fairly? We'll see.
Hugs, Love, and Blessings...
PS: I've copied this response for evidence. Response given here at 3:45pm 11.1.19.
Sweetiepye, I think this breakdown in dealing in a civil way with others is endemic on the internet. It doesn't only apply to this forum. We are supposed to live in a democratic society yet some people immediately turn nasty if you disagree with them.
Part of it is the anonymity which offenders can hide behind. Partly its the fact that as they are communicating at the end of computers they know they're not going to get a smack on the nose.
I'm going to try to find the example you refer to but I think I know. Do remember it's easy to report someone to Admin who is out of order.
It happens a lot on internet forums so please don't take this personally. Perhaps someone had a bad day and wanted to take it out on somebody. No excuse.
You are right and you make some good points. I worry when admin. gets involved as some decisions seem to be made arbitrarily.
Pam
How can I help, what has happened, something on Site, upset and unsettled you.
I agree on occasions where I am people can be so very cruel, and they do not even try to hide it. I am getting slower on the uptake now and sometimes that can really get people going
Is this a problem on your various sites, how can we all help
Hi Bob, I'm fine , it was the sense of meanness and anger that took me aback. How does someone feel so intensely toward someone they really don't know. You are such a calming influence. Thank you. Pam
Yeah, I know the feeling....It's not like felt I was being physically attacked but, it's more like someone attacked my soul, my inner spirit, where the willingness to help others and put myself out there constantly, comes from....
If I lose that, than I am useless here.....I might as well vanish....
I have only tried to support and care for people here. I don't wish ill to anyone, not even those who upset me....I will defend my sweetie though, that's a promise!
Otherwise, peace and love to all. I pray for the whole site often....Hope you're having a blessed day, SP.....
That sounds horrible and I feel it in my gut when you write it. You helped me and I’m glad to be back to see you. Actually as my Pops slowly passes I was hoping I’d have your logical kind words. I like the way you say things.
Then you shall....I will leave my pm open for discussions anytime you need it okay? In other words I will leave physically but, not remove the account. That way we can talk person to person. Okay?
I can send you some poems if you pm me a place to send them too....
Hi everyone...I am fairly new to the HU anxiety site but not at all new to anxiety. I have 30 years experience in that field but I don't think it would be a plus on my CV!
I have been over on the thyroid site for quite some time. I just wanted to offer some advice because I have noticed some disquiet and unrest on the site.
I have been trolled on sites before. To the point of being physically ill because of it. I was fairly new to forums and was obviously naive. I thought everyone was there to help each other but that was not the case. I learnt the hard way.
You see, some people are there for attention, for the fight, and for the aggro. They thrive on it. They say something nasty and just sit back and wait for a response. Don't give it. It will only fuel the negativity.
They are often narcissistic people and no amount of reasoning will work with them.....Why? Because they don't want to be nice, they want to be entertained.
I spent months, almost a year, trying to make peace with them. Nothing worked because it was not peace that they wanted. It was confrontation.
The worst thing you can do with people who are intent on being like this, is to respond to their negativity. No matter how much you want to defend yourself or even try to reach out to them, as I did. You are wasting your time and will be caught in the cycle forever because every comment will lead to a response and so it goes.....
They will turn everything back to you and you will spend hours trying to figure out what you said to upset them and what you could have done wrong to be on the receiving end of such 'attacks'.
The answer to that is 'nothing'.
The chances are the people who are being attacked are the ones who people look up to, those who are admired and respected on the site. Narcissistic people want what you have, they want to be admired and loved but they can't get that attention by being nice because it is not in their nature, so they get it by being nasty and by trying to ruin your character.
They will even step in and try to fix everything, offer phoney apologies and make it seem like it is you who are being unreasonable by not accepting their apology. They will then label you the bad guy and blame you for the unrest on the forum.
They want you to get mad, say mean things back and 'ruin' your good standing on the forum. If you let them, they will drive you crazy.
This is how they work. They are manipulators. Leave them be, let them talk but let it fall on deaf ears.
Hope this helps you all. Remember you can mute a member who is sending you PM's. They will not be notified that they have been muted but you will not receive their comments. They will literally be talking to themselves which is best for everyone.
The less you respond to negativity, the more peaceful your life becomes.
I think there is much to be learned here, and then shared with others, the next time something similar happens to a different group of people. And now won’t be caught off-guard with such nastiness again. And like you said, this happens everywhere, not just on this site.
I haven’t been here very long, but I do know that...
“Bad apples” are NOT at the CORE of this site (Haha. 🍎 🍏 apple pun intended).
My heart hurts for those who have hurting hearts. All those hurt should stand hopeful, helpful, and with heads-up....and continue to do what they do best, help others.... (and report any future Troll activity to Admin. ) 🍄 🌸 🌞
I’m American. I like this site because there are less trolls. This is the first time I’ve seen this happen. People are kind. If the attacker is American please don’t blame all of us. I’m hiding from the hatred and anger and foul talk here with you.
Doaty💛
Hey 👋🏽
I don’t know what’s happening but I hope you’re feeling better today 😔
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Same old thing
Who are you beneath all your mental illness? If you were the healthiest and happiest version of yourself how would you describe yourself? 😊
Who Helps.... The Helper....
