Same old thing

[Lovely_Lizzy_]

When u have a mental health issue, it’s like a battle everyday..... everyday is the same old dance...... and no matter what u try, it feels like it never changes...... I am trapped inside. Trapped, and the funny thing is, the door is wide open, but for some reason I can’t seem to leave this cell my doubts and fear have built for me. This never ending nightmare just goes on and on and on..... the same thing..... the same fight..... and never ending war up in my head.....and most days it feels like I’m losing..... same old dance.....same old stuff.....I always want to improve but, never seem to try and do so..... they say your the master of your own mind, so why is mine controlling me? This war is too loud, too much going on, I just want to take a moment, a moment where the constant fight stops..... a moment where I am awake, and not stranded in a never ending night terror......a moment where I’m free from this prison of self hatred. Same old battle, same old dance, same old nightmare, same old prison..... no matter the metaphor..... it is the same constant state of pain that everyone with a mental health issue must face..... but I think we all need to remember..... there other people fighting similar battles..... maybe not the same, cause we are all different and handle thing differently, but similar..... and that’s means there are people who get it..... we aren’t alone...... even tho it feels like it..... love y’all ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[Daninicole22]

I feel you 100% I am feeling this way as well...... I’ve had anxiety since I was about 13-14 years old, didn’t get diagnosed until I was 15 though. I went to therapists and such didn’t like them, so after I turned 16 I decided to try and just live with it and do my best without medication or anything.... I’m 29 now, with 3 kids, and have had a super rough few years and these last 5 months or so have been absolutely hell for me!!! I quit my job, I couldn’t even work anymore because my panic attacks and anxiety being there was getting overwhelming and hard.... I quit because I had a plan, but that plan failed very epically and then I went into a deeper depression and my anxiety and panic attacks spiraled.... still can’t seem to get out of this and I’ve now developed health anxiety to an extreme and other things too that I’ve never had before.... it hasn’t been easy what so ever, so I get it. It’s like everyday is the same exact thing same crap same mental illness and same mindset.... it’s like, where do I go now and what do I do???

[Lovely_Lizzy_ in reply to Daninicole22]

Yeah, some days I just wanna curl up in my bed go to sleep and never ever awaken

[Usernamework]

I relate to the idea of doing the same dance everyday. It’s like I know better, but I keep having the same negative thoughts everyday. I joined this community so I can stop venting to my friends so much. They can’t handle my negativity

[Lovely_Lizzy_ in reply to Usernamework]

They have their own problems and u don’t wanna be the burden.... ya know

[Usernamework in reply to Lovely_Lizzy_]

Ya, it’s also not good for your own self to feel as if you are burdening them. It just hurts both of you. They feel burdened or annoyed by your negativity, while you feel like they don’t care about your or something

[Lovely_Lizzy_ in reply to Usernamework]

Yeah same

[marheart in reply to Usernamework]

There is your answer in your post. I don't understand the anxiety/panic/depression disorder, how can anyone else understand it?

Either find out if others want to learn and help you or continue to go it alone. Either way, take care of yourself first. You are the only one who can really take care of yourself.

Sure don't like that reality. However, that's the road we are traveling.

Accentuate every little positivity. Say "I am grateful for ___" Say it upon waking up and before going to sleep. Every step counts toward a better life.

[Lovely_Lizzy_ in reply to marheart]

Yeah....except I’m not up for that in the morning. I’m just in a numb/depressed state where I just don’t want to do anything, but go back to sleep. But at night I will try, thanks for the advice

[marheart in reply to Lovely_Lizzy_]

Waking up startled and scared paves the road for the disorder to take over. Keep looking for new ways to cope. I sure could use that magic in my life.

Therapist wonders that since I'm a Senior Adult with physical issues maybe my mind is dreading another one of those long tortured days.

By evening I can calm down quite a bit. Not completely better. However, it's enough to feel the calming down and appreciating it.

The long, long, long day is meeting night and the chance to escape into sleep.

I do wake up at least 2-4 times/night if no one is coming to my house and I'm not going anywhere.

If I'm confronted with those challenges then I wake up with the stress reactions. Staying home is torture. Going out is hyper torture.

[marheart in reply to Lovely_Lizzy_]

Go for it Lovely. Once a day is a good start to adding positives to your life.

I'm reminding myself too, while I'm giving you a tool for your anxiety tool box.

When I say "I can't---" my Therapist corrects me to point out I'm really saying "I won't ---"

Been fighting that interpretation for over a year. She is correct. I'm being resistant to try so many techniques. Setting goals is helping.

Have to learn to trust the process. Tuff stuff!

[Usernamework]

I wake up pissed everyday and positivity feels like my enemy

[Lovely_Lizzy_ in reply to Usernamework]

Yeah....except I’m not mad I’m just in a numb/depressed state where I just don’t want to do anything, but go back to sleep.

[AuntBee]

I say you need to start a gratitude diary. Every day write down something you are grateful for. Even if it’s just: “I’m grateful for my bed”; “I’m grateful for breakfast”. When you wake up, make your first thought “good morning”. Just changing some of your thoughts can make a big difference. Try this for 21 days.

[Lovely_Lizzy_ in reply to AuntBee]

Yeah I hear u thanks for the advice I might try the journal thing, as for waking up in a good mood....kinda hard when u wake up feeling numb and depressed and just wanting to go back to sleep and never wake up.......

[optimuscoolbeans]

Yes gratitude journal worked for me. I am coming to the conclusion that it is not one thing that makes me feel better. But a bunch of little things added together for a big result.

[Lovely_Lizzy_ in reply to optimuscoolbeans]

Good advice I’ll have to try it

[marheart in reply to optimuscoolbeans]

Sure takes a village to deal with anxiety.

Be open to adjustments and changes. We are a work in progress.

I'm learning to listen to changes in my life that might be causing the disorder to elevate. Ha! That could translate into my whole life. It's all changing.