I am in the middle of nowhere

[Mia_love]

I thought about running away but i dont get it why everybody says no to that .? I so badly dont want to live here anymore its very suffocating for me . I think of droping this year and appearing for 11 th the next year but i dont think it will be anydifferent then .. i will have to do the same thing again ...

i wish sometimes if i could just chuck my 11 th 12 th and go abroad to study what i like .. my parents are very possesive towards me so i wasnt allowed to out much ... i want to go out there in the world and explore myself by myself ... i think i am attracted towards other foriegn countries and i want to go there and live start new ...

the thought of running away doesnt get out of my mind and if it does next thing that comes in my mind is commiting a suicide ..

i dont understand what i should do what i can do ??... this is just getting worse .

[Hidden]

I’ve also felt the same about wanting to leave home as soon as possible. I think running away is seen as a bad thing because it’s usually an impulsive decision and the problems you’re running away from will still be there even if you’ve physically removed yourself from the situation. My parents are also possessive over the things I do or don’t do. In my 16 years I have very rarely left the house to do activities with friends or family. Having no siblings leaves me with only the company of my parents. I don’t know what situation you’re in but the safest thing to do is to get help on what you’re feeling, reach out to your parents, another family member, or someone from school. Anyone that is willing to listen.

Dropping this year won’t be helpful in my opinion. I basically did that my previous year of high school and it was a disaster. My family kept getting called in to attend meetings and we could’ve ended up in court because of all my absences. Everyone was stressed, yelling at each other, and I cried more than I ever had in years. This July I started a homeschooling program where I go to a charter school four days a week for only one or two hours. There’s less students now and I feel okay. I can say that things have slightly improved. I still get anxiety when I‘m at school, but it is significantly less than attending a “normal” school. I also plan on studying abroad once I’m done with high school.

You have so much potential and you will have time to try out many things. It isn’t necessary to start your life over if you’re only just starting the one you’re going through already. Sometimes it's helpful to have a fresh start, so I understand. But it doesn't have to lead to such a big decision. Start making small but significant improvements. There’s many things you will experience at your own pace and you need to give it time. Be patient with yourself.

[Mia_love]

Everybody tells me what i shouldnt do but i barely understand what i should do in my current situation ??