Being painfully average

[Moon_B]

These days I feel particularly depress and I have been thinking about what I want to do in life. I am about to reach my 30s and I have accomplished nothing. I have been struggling with anxiety and depression since my teenage years and that's all my life is I feel like.

We are not born equal and I cannot accept to be this way. When we are kids we learn at school that " everybody is good at something" but it is a misconception. I feel so talentless and I can't not think of any special skills that I have. Being not only mentally disadvantages because of my fears and worries and on top of that being just an average person is killing me inside.

There's something about being average that just makes me feel miserable, probably because it is pathetic. I do have some interest for arts and others things but I cannot bring myself to do it and if I do, it sucks and I stop the activity right away. I have no willpower and no motivation because I know how bad or average the result will be. I know it is negative but sometimes that's just how it is, some people just don't have anything special to them.

I am aware that practicing would help me to develop at least one skill but I just never been able to keep myself motivated. Even if I do I anticipate my disappointment.

I told my husband about my struggle of feeling talentless and he told me that I do have a talent because I know how to speak french. It makes me feel even worst because this is not a talent, this my mother tongue I speak french everyday of my life ever since I was born like any other person speaks any other language in the world. It's not like I had to learn it, I just grew up speaking it. I swear I was about to cry when he said that I felt so humiliated. He didn't mean anything bad but that just hit me hard. What I understood by is answer his "yes I know you don't have any special skills but let me try to reassure you" and he came up with this.

Anyway I guess I am one of those average person that nobody will remember. But what truly makes me sad is how I cannot enjoy my life until now because of this.

[hypercat54]

The vast majority of us are average in the world at large. Don't forget though that you are anything but to those who love as you are special and wonderful to them so make your corner of the world a great place to be.

I had a work colleague who called himself 'uniquely untalented' and took pride in this and I would say that I was too so he wasn't alone and we would grin at each other! It didn't bother either of us.

I must admit though I am a little envious of talented people but less so since I found a small talent for playing darts. I love this with a passion and play a lot thus making the most of it though. But it's like anything as practice hones skills so don't forget every achievement is mainly the result of hard work regardless of talent. Maybe you have yet to find your passion x

[Moon_B in reply to hypercat54]

I do feel envious of talented people too. But like you said it is mostly hard work and rarely just pure talent. I do not work hard and that's really my fault, I shouldn't be expecting a better result if I am not willing to do the necessary step. I wish I was motivated to work hard, I guess I am lazy and I lack self-esteem. I felt the need to complain yesterday about my averageness but it could be worst and it is up to me to act differently or not.

You are right I should find contentment with what I have. I am happy you find something you are good at and enjoyed at the same time! Your little story about playing darts and your humble work colleague made me smile. It made me think of this guy who won the title of the World best stone skipper. He throws pebbles on water and watch them skip. That's what he likes to do, he does it for many hours and he truly enjoys it. It became his life and art. I find it so lovely when people dedicate themselves to something no matter what it is.

Thank you hypercat54!

[hypercat54 in reply to Moon_B]

The point I was making is if you find something you love passionately it's not a question of making any decisions whether you need to work hard at it or not. You do it because you are driven to by an itch you have to scratch. It's a pleasure to work at it and the satisfaction is incredible.

I am a lazy person and rarely put much effort into anything! x

[SuZQ154]

Sorry you are feeling this way. You are "uniquely and wonderfully made". Everyone of us is different and that means we are all "special". However, I understand your feelings. Sometimes I am envious of others' talents which come so easily to them. Or I get angry with myself because I am lazy.

Being satisfied with my "specialness" sometimes requires myself being easier on "me";

other times I need to DO something. I address my "stinkin' feelin'" about being dissatisfied and say "HALT! and ask "Are you H-hungry? Are you A- Angry? Are you L-Lonely? or Are you T-Tired?" Depending on my answer...I might eat, call a friend, go out to dinner, exercise, pray, sing, dance.... The list goes on. You might want to try this the next time you are feeling "painfully average." SO glad you are posting.

Blessings and hugs to you today!!