Anxiety About Being Rejected

[TrustYourSoul]

I don't understand who I am anymore. I used to be confident; a Leader that people counted on; proud of myself. Something has "changed me". Negative experiences in the past year or so just stay in the forefront of my mind.

It started a year ago, when my brother, whom I was very close with, started criticizing my perspective on things. He lives far away, and only wanted to text, but not talk on the phone. He said (texted) that spending time on the phone with me would just be "gratuitous". Then he texted me two links to websites I could try in order to make a friend. I couldn't believe it, and said so. Then he "quit" as my brother on a text. It turned out that he saw me as a future "burden" since I am 8 years older, a 2-time cancer survivor, and have genetic Type 1 insulin diabetes. Our parents have passed away, and I guess he didn't want to be needed to support me in the future, so he just "fired me". His rejection last January, a year ago, was devastating. I haven't tried to "fix" anything because I was fired.

As I have encountered difficult or "toxic" people since then, it feels like too many things are a "hot stove", and I feel scolded and rejected a lot. The few friends I have, all have problems of their own, and I doubt they care to hear about mine. I did try seeking help from two friends, but somehow, my life "disappeared" and conversations became about their lives. Now I just don't share, because nobody cares. Yet, I remain the person they turn to when they need an ear.

I just don't feel wanted anymore by anyone except my sweet pets. I just turned 60. Is this all that's left? Is this God's "plan" for me?

[Hidden]

The way your brother has treated you would make anyone have anxiety about being rejected. It's amazing that you have survived cancer twice as well as being a type one diabetic. You should be proud of yourself.

[Genuineguy in reply to Hidden]

I couldnt put this better myself

[b1b1b1]

Your brother should be ashamed of himself. I guess it never occurred to him that there is a chance he might need "help" first.

I do understand how you feel. I have been relatively recently widowed, moved to a new city to be closer to my son, and because of covid have been unable to find any activities or friends in this new city. I am also quite homesick.

No, in answer to your question, I don't think that is all there is. You mention "God's plan." Are you religious - even a little? Although it its difficult with covid, one good way to enlarge your circle is to join a church and participate in it's various activities.

If you pets are dogs, you might also try going to a dog park where you may be able to talk to and become acquainted with other dog owners. As it is outside, it is relatively safe.

Lastly, although I have several good friends where I used to live, and keep up with them, I don't think anyone can really count on friends for major help. You might want to look into therapy and possibly antidepressants. x

[Blue_81]

Hello, you are a strong 💪 person having survived cancer twice and dealing with diabetes. We are here for you. If You like you can PM me. Anxiety and depression is very hard to deal with alone. Wishing you the best!

[Genuineguy]

Im really sorry for what youve been through and for how your brother has treated you. Please know that his treatment of you reflects only on your brother and not you. You deserve to be looked out for and cared for as much as anyone else, in fact in some ways more so, if youre in a vulnerable place. My heart gos out to you. Please dont be silent about your struggles. Some of us do actually care. I know its not easy to accept but please know your brother's actions dont reflect other's views either. Im saying this with understanding because I have a similar struggle and feel extremely broken since I was hurt badly. It can be really hard.

[Marysblue]

I'm so sorry about what happened with your brother. Are you sure it wasn't just a miscommunication , that happened to me and my brother once we didn't speak for a long time and it was just he Misinterpreted what I said.

I totally agree with you that people have changed in the last few years it seems like no one has 10 minutes to be a friend anymore. I lost a loved one this week and all I got was text messages about it. No one could even call me. Much less come by.

There are ways to meet people in your town. I've met some new ladies through the next door app we've started some groups and plan to meet. And there's also Meetup apps or go

Volunteer when you feel like it or join church group or senior ctr.

Don't give up hope. Would you consider reach ing out to your brother and see if you could reestablish the connection.

[meeshsister]

I am so sorry that your brother was so insensitive and just frankly mean to you. I get how you feel. My sister, who is the closest person too me since my sweet Mom passed and who is the only one who knows my diagnoses, sided with her toxic husband over me when he and I had a horrible argument. Since then she has been uncaring and distant and I pretty much have to go it alone when I am systematic. The two friends I have only text and I feel unbearably lonely. I say all this to say you are not alone and I relate and understand. What helped was to get back into something that gave me joy and forced me to make new connections. I rejoined a group I used to be in but dropped out after my Mom passed. Are there any groups or hobbies that distract you or give you purpose? That might be a start. In the meantime you are a good person who deserves love and respect.

[Survivor1687]

(hugs)