Tired of being replaced

[CantThinkOfAName]

Every time I feel good and all with someone, which is not easy for me, there always comes the time where I'm not good enough anymore. I am the go-to person until there is someone better. I work perfectly with my father, we get along well when we build something, but then big sis is there and suddenly my opinion is not important anymore. I have friends that talk to me every day, someone new arrives and they are suddenly so much more important.

My big sis calls me her soul peace, but if she has a boyfriend I won't see her for month.

I was good with my boss at work, very good. I knew everything about his life and he about mine. We talked about everything. Now he has a new pall at his station and he won't eveb tell me he is on holiday next week.

It is always the same. I don't even want to be forever #1, I can share just not suddenly replaced.

And believe me, because it happens so often, I always try to figure out if I am the one at fault, if I do something wrong every damn time. But since thise people always come back to me if the replacement isn't there, I don't necessarily think so.

Maybe it's just because no matter how social and open I feel sometimes, there are always people that are much more easy going. I just can't compare.

When I was younger I always wished for a friendship like Starsky&Hutchs. Not matter what, they always belonged together. Even if they were in a good relationship or anything. I envied that. Of course I know that it's a show. But still

[the-anxious-one]

I have felt similarly my entire life! You are not alone in this feeling. It sucks to be constant replaced or used only when it is convenient for others. It makes the negative self talk that much harsher and not having close people to rely on is hard and discouraging.

[CantThinkOfAName in reply to the-anxious-one]

I am so sorry that you have the same problem, but it feels a little good that I am not the only one 🙈

At least I managed to stop seek out these people that just use me for convienince. I'd say those I have in my life at least geniunely like me even if I stepped down from a more important place in their life.

To ditch those took me a long time. But I tried to be more healthily egoistic. To not ALWAYS run when they call. That was all it took to not hear from them.

Please don't let yourself be used ♡

[Kainan]

Yep, I’ve always felt that way my entire life. Much more so when I was younger. It feels really defeating and it sucks. What’s important is that we know that we matter. Our voices are just as important as anyone else’s.

[CantThinkOfAName in reply to Kainan]

I'm sorry that you know exactly what I mean.

And you are right, we know we matter. At least I know it by now most of the time. When I was younger I had real problems with this.

Thank you for your kind words. Take care ♡

[Hidden]

Me too but I used to be different. Hopefully you’re trying to have more friends and keep trying. Your boss isn’t your friend he’s a work friend. Someone new. Start doing something exciting for yourself immerse yourself in it so you’ll have something new to talk about. It’s an idea. I’m that way same old sh&t. How boring for me lol.

[CantThinkOfAName in reply to Hidden]

Different in what kind of way?

I try to keep an open mind while meeting people. You are right about him being a work friend. When private contact slowed down I kept reminding myself of that. But it used to feel like more. I was able to tell him stuff about myself without any shame, because he did to, almost as soon as we worked together longer than 2 days. I was blown away by that. People quickly thought we were going out, but we didn't mind. We just talked so openly. It felt so good. It still makes me sad that it's over. Though I can't fault him for that. Because I am good with him. But I am also a social cripple xD I can't think of topics to talk about and I laugh with others but rarely engage in group conversations and stuff. He just started to get along better with others. It is what it is. So for rambling

Thanks for your support. Take care ♡

[Hidden in reply to CantThinkOfAName]

He’s just moved on for reasons of his own. Some people do that. He might come back later if when he tires of his new friend. Life goes like this some people are like this this is what they do. If you need to expand your life concentration on that over the loss will get you more. I get it. Just be yourself and when if he ever comes around as your work friend keep it light and talk about anything new you’re doing because you’re working on that right ?!!

I am different as I didn’t take things as hard before but I have problems from my health. They ruined my stomach with stomach acid reducer meds & psyche meds I was fine before now I can barely walk strengthen have a life. Eating and rest is nightmare. I’m anemic all from this from burn out in first place from health issues before no support. So if your body functions and you can go out make changes you’re way ahead of where you’re mind traps you. Dudes a work friend he decided and if he’s being nice still that’s good. You just go find a better relationship with other coworkers & outside of work. It’s a lesson to not expand and have variety of friends even if not many you need like 4 and fringe contact. Because stuff like this happens.

[CantThinkOfAName]

I know what you mean. I sometimes don't feel that 'click' either. That's why I don't fault those people 'replacing' me. They don't push me away in a mean way like kids in school or something. Most of them at least. They just find others to get along better with. It happens. I know. Still feels terrible.

Thank you for your nice words. I hope you are righ.

Take care ♡