BPD Bby, 22

[jolivia]

I have a new therapist and she’s different than anyone I’ve ever had, and I’ve had over 15 therapists. She holds me accountable for my actions and puts me in a place of responsibility I’ve never been before. She’s making me realize my negativity is a choice I choose because of years of choosing it. While I don’t know where some of these feelings come from, I don’t have to let them control me. I’ve been doing it for so long I’m scared to do it another way. I’m terrified of getting better, being sick and wasted has been my life since I was 14. Am I a coward? Give it to me straight

[Hidden]

It must be very confronting to have a therapist with that style. I think you are very brave as I could not handle that myself. If it is helpful to you then that is wonderful.

[jolivia in reply to Hidden]

It’s definitely difficult Idk if it’s helpful or not yet

[Dolphin14]

It may be a blessing in disguise to have this tougher therapist.

She has expectations from you.

You are not a coward. I would stick with her for a bit. See if her approach might be helpful to you.

[jolivia in reply to Dolphin14]

I’m trying to!

[Agora1]

Hi jolivia, your therapist does speak the truth in that we are responsible not for the anxiety

but in how we respond to it. After a while, it becomes a habit that's hard to break. As miserable as it is, it's like we can't let go. It's all we know. We hate change and fear what

we don't know. It's like someone who is emotionally abused everyday but refuses to get

out of the situation because in a sick way it's comfortable in knowing what to expect.

Know that you are not a coward in any respect. Your therapist is using a form of CBT

which I found as the most difficult to adapt to at the time. But accepting the issue and

then doing something about it, is the only way you will get better and be able to go forward.

We are here to support you. You will make it through, one step at a time. Believe in that xx

[jolivia in reply to Agora1]

Thank you, I’m starting to realize all of this

[LilyAnnepuppy]

I want honesty from people above all else. If they see something in me where I’m causing my own misery, I want to know. People places and things don’t MAKE ME FEEL anything. My reactions are mine and if I know what they are, I can chang them and get b. There’s a certain point I reach where I’ve identified the internal issues (sometimes find blame from where the trams came from, but have to find a way to let those defects go. Good luck with your new therapist. Sounds like she may be a keeper

[jolivia in reply to LilyAnnepuppy]

Hopefully!