I’m 45 years old and have battled depression and self image issues most of my life. Since I was alienated from my sons nearly 5 years ago, it’s gotten much much worse:
I’ve become promiscuous, more impulsive (stealing/shoplifting), I have a terrible relationship with food (bulimic), anger issues that cause outbursts, crippling anxiety (missing entire days of work), compulsive lying....the list is endless. I think I need to see a psychiatrist again but I’m not sure how to go about it...
How about start small and do some google searches to find a psychiatrist your area? I think ADAA.org even has a “find help in your area” section. It may take a while to find a right fit (it took me 4 therapists to finally find a right fit for me). There is hope, hang on!
Hi some of these behaviours make me think of bi-polar so I wonder if you have been misdiagnosed? I think seeing a therapist is a good idea.
I do see a therapist and she knows most of my ‘dirty little secrets’. It just doesn’t feel like it’s helping. I’m still very apathetic about my quality of life. I feel sad. Hopeless. Like I failed my sons. And I have so much hate and rage towards my ex husband and his wife that it consumes me. I hate it. I hate myself.
You are only failing your sons (and yourself) if there is so much hatred and rage in your heart that you leave no room for love. Why are you letting your ex and his wife still control you? Take back your power.
That’s just it—I don’t know how.
You probably don't think you are worth the effort it would take to get your life back on track. If someone were to give you the love and attention you have given your kids and ex you would be doing well too. Before you make any decisions ask yourself if the outcome is going to benefit you. All your energies should go to you. Your kids will eventually come back around when they see what you can do with a little focus. Think of that ex as an exlax. Hate takes a lot of energy. Don't waste any more. All good and positive things will come to you , let the rest go.
Try similar traits as me and I was diagnosed with BPD it’s best to speak to a therapist and get to the bottom of the cause.
