Not good enough - Self Worth

[Magicdreamer]

Hi Y'all. I've been questioning myself most of the day, and I'm sharing my findings about where my self-worth is coming from... in the past, I worked really hard to eventually have quite a nice salary then to give up everything and be 'unemployed' and now living with, and reliant on my folks. quite a dip in self-esteem. So today, I took a look at the standards I've been holding myself to... A woman my age (44 years) SHOULD be employed! I then questioned and meditated on if it's true and how can I possibly know it's true.....? Should is an expectation and a condition and in my reality, I'm not employed by a company so my truth is, I'm not employed as it's my reality, which means I shouldn't be employed. I then went a little deeper to discover the socialisation conditioned beliefs within myself and discovered that I have been comparing my situation with others using should or shouldn't bringing emotions of shame and guilt. My reality is what it is with no expectations. I have had a scan in my mind's eye at the entire world and realised that if everyone had no material items then we would all be equal so, I've kind of seen through what is known as the illusion. It took me to see that we would all be working together, farming, etc. with conditioned beliefs of... 'he has more, she is better, etc.' brings me to seperation, shame and guilt, loneliness, isolation, avoidance and humiliation which are emotions based on a lie. When I asked the question, who would I be without the thought, I felt peace, calmness and presence. I'm also starting to understand that everyone has what they need in each moment and when that changes, it changes. Simple truth. 'Now, because I'm dealing with self-esteem and self worth I'm going into skin deep as we've been taught to judge people on their appearance and the behaviour patterns in society regarding beauty seems very interesting now. This is very enlightening. Love to you all. ❤️✌️💎

[Starrlight]

❤️

[Sabio77]

hi magicdreamer, thank you for sharing your thought process, how interesting. nice to meet you. it is ok for a person to go thru changes. yes I agree it is not easy. have you tried looking for another job? maybe you can look for local support groups in your area. Here is am anonymous 800-950-6264 or you can text 741741. its all confidential. hope this helps you. hugs of encouragement.

[Magicdreamer in reply to Sabio77]

Thank you. 💚☀️

[Sabio77 in reply to Magicdreamer]

how is it going for you

[Magicdreamer in reply to Sabio77]

I took your advice so, thank you. 💚

[Sabio77 in reply to Magicdreamer]

how did it work out for you.

[Magicdreamer in reply to Sabio77]

So far so good... It's opening something 'restless' inside but that's a good thing.

[hurtingheart1]

Hi and thank you for sharing and I’m sorry you’re dealing with this!!!💞you’re thoughts on this topic are really interesting and I like how you said or asked yourself - how would I be without this thought? And you felt more peace& present! Or better- right? You sound like an awesome intelligent woman who I hope can be happy and love yourself and that nothing like a job has to define your worth as a woman!!!!☺️🤩🦋🌸🌻💕i hope you find some fulfilling ways to earn income that you enjoy and feel a purpose& hopefully a passion doing!! I myself don’t have a typical 9-5 job -I’m an artist and I work from home it’s not typical and has taken time to get used to this& health issues and how others seem to want to judge it and don’t get it??? Why I don’t know because I feel like all types of ppl& all types of occupations make the world go round -all types of ppl are needed - we need musicians, artists, mothers that stay at home care for children, teachers,part time workers, full time workers, night shift workers, there’s some really interesting jobs out there when you look into it or think on it- there’s something for everyone or there definitely ought to be anyway- right?? Anyway know you’re not alone- please keep posting here!!🌻