Self-Esteem and Anxiety

[cmblue]

I’ve never really had good self-esteem, but I feel like it’s gotten worse recently. I worry that I’m just a burden and inconvenience to everyone in my life and that things would be better for them if I weren’t around. I don’t think I have much value as a person. I just worry that I’m draining to be around. I’ve never really had many friends, and I’ve fallen out of contact with almost all of the close friends I’ve ever had, so I feel like there’s something wrong with me. I don’t think I’m interesting enough, or funny enough, or entertaining enough, so why would anyone want to be my friend? I also tend to put too much of my worth on what others think of me. If someone thinks I’m annoying, then that must be who I fundamentally am as a person. I just wish I could figure out a way to better my self-esteem because a lot of my mental health problems are related to my extreme negative view of myself.

[Depresseddoglover]

I feel the same way. As if I'm not good enough, interesting enough, smart enough, fun enough. Why would anyone want to be my friend? I force myself to socialize and interact but I feel uncomfortable most of the time. I joined a yoga studio and would casually interact with fellow patrons or with other dog owners at the park. I actually spend a lot of time with animals because they offer unconditional love. When I work on my gratitude list I include why I am grateful for myself but the feeling doesn't really sink in. I can admit that I don't like myself and I am very mean to myself. It is unfortunate because I would never treat anyone else this way.

[Depresseddoglover in reply to Depresseddoglover]

As far as I know self-compassion is a skill to be worked on. Kristen Neff is a prominent researcher in this field and she has many ted talks, and books, one being the mindful path to self compassion.

[Hidden]

Sure, I can definitely relate to this. I've started to look at my sense of self-worth as a brick house. Every day I take out a bad brick and replace it with a good brick. Progress is so slow that I can't really detect change on a day to day basis. But if I look back 6 months, I see some definite shifts in thinking and behavior. Just keep at it. Keep plugging away.

[squishy11]

Tap on my name and look at my only/first post. There are a lot of people that feel the way you do in the world. You aren't alone. Try to think about your negative thoughts as what they are - only thoughts. I swear it helps to repeatedly tell yourself that you are good enough, and your brain just wants to come up with reasons to fight that positive image. Keep fighting it, and once you see yourself in a positive light, everyone will.

P.S : mentioning my post wasn't supposed to be self centered - someone emailed because they related, and it made me feel much better knowing that I wasn't alone.

[Hidden]

I am no use as I feel the same but know you are not alone if that is any consolation! I am following this with interest. Sending hugs.

[Pamela2876]

I find the world esteems youth, looks, success, fame and riches. I used to find myself looking to these things for worth. I found I couldn't live up to the standard others set for me, and I couldn't even live up to the standard I set for myself. Time after time I failed the test society set up for me. But God doesn't see me that way and he doesn't see you that way. Your worth is not based on how others see you or even how you see you. It is based on the eyes of the creator who made you and he loves you as you are. Flaws and all. He wrote a love letter about it. I'm not a religious nut or anything, I am a business woman. I just encourage you to check out the book of John. You will find it about midway through the bible. You are in my thoughts!