I desperately need some tools to help me stop my racing thoughts and going to the negatives all the time. I’m constantly worried about the future and always replaying yesterday’s conversations.
How do I stop caring what people think? Just when I think I have it, something brings me right back. It’s exhausting.
The mood swings. The constant worry. I’ve tried so many techniques: when a negative thought enters, say a positive one instead; remind yourself to live for today and you don’t have any control over tomorrow.
I hate feeling miserable and I hate that I give people the power to affect me.
Any ideas or help would be greatly appreciated.
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BrownEyesBlue
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I struggle with this a lot too. Like you, I haven't found a lot of success in talking back to the worries or fears. I used to keep a Google Doc and write them down, then try to respond to them with more realistic thoughts, but I never made much progress with this.
I have been trying two different things recently:
1) I bought a little physical notebook that has a pen attached. I write the worries down by hand, rather than into my phone. I think writing them down by hand is a bit better: a) it keeps me a bit more concise i.e. I can't blab on forever, b) it separates the action from everything else I do with my phone, which makes me more conscious of it.
2) I stopped trying to talk back to the worries. My mind just always sort of says "I know, but..." I then get more worried, when the talking back hasn't worked, thinking something is really wrong with me. Now I try to just stay with the worry itself, rather than fighting it. For example, if I'm worrying about getting a poor performance review at work, I think about (and write down) more details e.g. how my boss would take me to a room, how his face would look, how awful I'd feel, etc. For me, staying *with* the worry allows me to feel less afraid of it, and more importantly, not to waste so much time struggling against it ineffectually. This method was inspired by the book "The Worry Trick" by David Carbonell, and I wrote a post about it here:
Easier said than done but if you notice yourself ruminating on something, give it another minute and if you haven't had any new ideas or come any closer to a resolution, you know there's nothing the be gained by thinking about it and you should give yourself permission to stop.
Have you tried meditation? I use the headspace app. The course on anxiety was very helpful to me for this.
I can 100% identify with how you are feeling. I deal with this alot as well and it's draining especially because I work at a trauma hospital and I internalize everyone's health issues as if they are mine.
I am right there with you. I get soooo far, then 1 event, or 1 conversation & dread sinks in. And I cant shake the panick.... 😥 Its a never ending battle. But seeking support and opening up to ppl has helped SO much. Learning who to talk to about what and who can be the best person for what you are going through (if that makes sense) like i avoid topics with my in laws and mom, they are great at supporting me with lighter topics. My cousin and siblings get mental illness so I lean on them when needed. Its all trial and error. And you have this site when all else fails. We are All human and have all felt this way before. You are no where near alone💕
Hay house, potentials unlimited, sounds true, life tools, nightingale connant , centerpionte research, sadona method. search online. Loads of progs to sort you out all you have to do is listen.
I am sorry that you are having such troubles. Have you tried going small groups such as anxiety or depression groups? I went to one with my sister a while back called Celebrate recovery I was really amazed at how many of the people were very helpful by opening up their success stories.
I still struggle with caring what people think about me, to the point it can make me sick if someone thinks very harshly about me. Its like a snow ball it keeps getting bigger when the thoughts keep going. I have recently learned that if I stop and write out what I am thinking it gets rid of my need to continue it. I have also noticed it helps me see physical proof that the way this person feels about me is ridiculous. This person has so many problems of their own and they are only lashing out at me to make their own problems a bit less for a moment. This helps me see them through the eyes of Jesus and I realize they are not mad at me but themselves. And you are right replacing the negative with a positive is super helpful it takes time to rewire all the lies we have told ourselves over the years. I have found using scripture as the positive helps me the best. Praying for you -Rachel
Many have found taking magnesium malate and ginseng help a lot to calm the mind body and spirit and get rid of sticky negative thoughts that tear us down and weaken our resolve. They will help a lot. Also, listening to a light hearted audio book on low w a timer turns off the brain so we can fall asleep. If you can't do that, counting 1, 1000. 2, 1000. 3, 1000...... is just enough brain focus to stop the negative thoughts. <3
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