I can't do this anymore. I want everything to stop. I'm constantly thinking about things I cant do anything about and I'm always philosophizing. I just want to stop these thoughts in my head. It's so hard to live like that every day is teasing. The only reason I'm still here is my parents, my brother and my loving cousins and caring relatives. But I'm such a burden I just want to live a normal life without the pain and I want to feel like I did 5 years ago.
Depression, endless overthinking - Anxiety and Depre...
Depression, endless overthinking
What was different in your life 5 years ago? ❤️
I didn't have the obsessive thoughts. I was way happier and satisfied with my life.
Could you make a list of things you enjoy? I’m learning that making myself take care of myself helps some. I’m trying to do one thing each day. Last night I listened to a podcast.
Here’s the list I made this week:
Light a candle
Take a bath
Sit in the massage chair
Walk on the tread climber
Go on a walk
Take the kids to the park
Yoga
Lotion
Read a book
Look at the clouds or the stars
Hydrate
Play a board game
Snuggle family or pets
Color
Write down how I feel
Add to a gratitude journal
Send a note to a loved one
Listen to music
Bake cookies
Breathing exercises
Look at family photos
Make a plan with a friend
Write a song
Learn Spanish
Listen to a podcast
Thank you for the list. I try to do things that I love and make me feel secure. I spend more time with my family. I look at old photos and things that bring back memories. That makes me sad but also happy at the same time.
I know the feeling
You’re definitely not alone in the way you’re feeling
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I'm sorry that you are carrying all this emotional pain at this time. Glad to hear that you do have some loving people in your life. Are you able to share your feelings with them or do you try to shield them from your feelings? Since you mention the issue you are having with controlling your thoughts, have you ever learned any techniques for focusing/refocusing your thoughts?
I try to not overthink so much and to stay in the present and think about the moment but sometimes especially when I'm alone I can't control the obsessive thoughts. I told my parents about my feelings and they hug me and they care but they also feel very bad and they have their own problems too. They dont want me to feel like that and they always try to calm me but its hard. The worst thing is that i have exams soon and they are very important for my future and stressed me much more and I can't concentrate.
I wonder if you have learned this pattern of thinking from them. Is that what they have modeled in their methods of dealing with life? And do you find that your tendencies to overthink/obsess are broadly applied to every aspect of your life or just with some areas?
My parents are not like me. They are like the opposite of me. They take action and do things well and are more active. I'm lazy, I don't have any motivation and i can't concentrate. I've always been worried much more than needed. I'd say in almost every situation it's been like that. I'm sensitive and almost everything gets me thinking about "what have I done wrong" or "I shouldn't have done that", ,,maybe If I...." and I'm also thinking about the future. Thinking about how I'd may lose someone that I love or that a friend wouldn't want to talk to me anymore. That's what makes me feel the WORST - The fact that almost everyone and everything is temporary and it makes me not wanting to start anything. I deleted many social media apps because they stressed me even more and affected me in a bad way.
Good job on deleting social media accounts.
I appreciate you continuing to share your feelings and experiences here. Since your parents aren't like you, do you get caught up in thinking that their way of handling life is the "right" way and yours is not? It sounds like you may be a very sensitive, internal thought processor which is just a different way of experiencing and reacting to life than those who are very external and action oriented would react. Neither way is better or worse, each way has strengths and weaknesses. Every person experiences and reacts based on the way their brain is wired, so one thing we can do to help ourselves is to learn about our personality and emotional tendencies. Have you done much reading or exploring these topics?
Totally can relate