Gratitude. Gratitude is supposed to be a good thing, right? Well, maybe it is. But like they say, "too much of everything is bad". I think being grateful for what people did in the past for me is making me do wrong things.
I feel plastic; wanting to keep friendship alive simply because I'm out of the world grateful.. even when apparently, the other person just wants to be distant as possible.
Am I wrong? Ofcourse I understand that some people don't do good to get back favours; some people don't even remember the good they did.
This is a fair point but why am I like this? Should I just let it all go?
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AnIslandOfPeace
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I don’t think you’re wrong and I think we both know simply telling ourselves let go doesn’t provide a solution that works. I guess when it come to the actions you make out of gratitude as long as you are content with your actions and don’t feel bad it isn’t a bad thing.
I think in friendship, you should look for reciprocity. If it’s not there, it’s not a friendship.
What I mean is when I text my BFF, she responds. If it’s been a few days since we’ve talked, she reaches out. When someone is just the worst, I text her to vent. When coworkers are driving her nuts, she calls me.
I think what you’re experiencing might be like when people fall in love with their doctor. The doctor doesn’t want to be friends just because they helped you. They were doing their duty and they already have friends.
I understand your frustration in my own way from certain friends... Do you HAVE to sever ties? Perhaps lowering your expectations, if only for the moment, and letting things play out will allow your friendship to handle itself. No one will ever have the right answer for this except you and that may be a difficult thing to come to. I'm sorry you feel frustrated, especially since you feel like you're putting in a good effort, we'd all like to be appreciated for what we give.
If a person is drawing away from you, then draw back a little yourself, and wait to see if they come back to you. I find friendships can have an ending, sad though it may be.
There are life events which make make things change between friends, marriages, Babies, even a change of workplace can come between a pair of friends, even without one of them realising it. These are the folk you only send cards to for birthdays and Christmas!
It has been particularly bad this year and last with the Covid 19 doing its best to disrupt us.
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