Why do I feel this way?

[summerbaby1991]

I have been struggling for a while now. I have always struggled with anxiety and depression but never like this. A few months ago I got a DWI, I really don't drink. Then My boyfriend and I were together for 6.5 years and we have been having trouble for the past year. He left me and moved out a month ago. He has been talking to an ex girlfriend for a few months now. I wasn't the perfect girlfriend but I was planning on spending the rest of my life with him. Well because he left me I punched a wall and fractured my hand and still have a cast on. I have never had to live alone and I am having trouble adapting to the changes. I am not currently working but I am looking for a job so right now I a home all alone 24/7. My thoughts are racing. I try to get out and do things but my anxiety kicks in and I feel the need to go home even though I don't want to be home. I cycle through the stages of grief a couple times a day. My emotions are uncontrollable and I think that causes me anxiety. I don't even enjoy leaving the house and I don't want to meet new people. I feel so out of touch with my feelings its crazy. I am trying really hard but I just cant seem to control them. People always say they are there if I need them but no one wants to keep hearing it. I may struggle for a few months and I feel like I am just suppose to put my happy face on and pretend im ok when I not. That is pretty much what I have done my entire life. I cant eat and I wake up every two hours at night and that is with taking ambien. Im going back to talk to a counselor on Wed but I don't think talking to them helps so I thought I would try this.

[zperry4]

Hey it’s okay, going through really rough shit doesn’t have to be lonely, so please talk to people on here, there’s a lot of people who have so many stories and advice about everything, so this was a really good step.

I’m really sorry all that happened to you and you’re absolutely not crazy for feeling kinda messed up. Pain and loneliness are awful and you have to treat them seriously. Set small goals, keep track of your moods and changes. I think that getting a grip on this stuff is about building habits, skills and awareness first. Therapy is good, but in my experience it’s worth it to find someone you feel good about, so definitely shop around.

Just know you’re appreciated and cared for by loads of people, and you always have an audience, whatever time of day. Please take care, message anyone if you need.

[BonnieSue]

I agree with zperry4. Talk to us here, we CAN understand how you feel. His other advice I also agree with, please listen to his ideas. A good counselor is crucial to feeling good. Don't give up without giving yours a fair chance to see if you two are right for each other. Please.

It's really rough to live in the aftermath of breaking up after 6.5 years of life with someone you love. Add to that you're not used to living alone. This is a tough transition and please give yourself time and be patient with yourself. It takes time to make such a big transition in your life, to learn how to go about living this new reality. You'll be okay, but it'll be a journey in adapting and coping with this new lifestyle. But you CAN do this, ok? Just give yourself time.

Hugs, Love, and Blessings...🤗💜💝👍

[summerbaby1991]

Thank you guys!! I know I will be ok but it is going to take a long time. I woke up at 4am having a panic attack and couldn't go back to sleep. Today was not a great day for me emotionally. Its nice to know I have somewhere to go to reach out to people.

[zperry4 in reply to summerbaby1991]

Yeah of course. Are you doing better now? Losing sleep plus panic attacks sounds horrible, especially when you don’t have people to talk you down. Anything specific happen, or just the usual rough ups and downs?