Every single morning I have found my anxiety and depression to be extremely intense. More intense than at night. I used to set alarms for every two hours just to make sure I can wake up and know that I can quickly fall asleep to have just a few moments of peace before I wake up and lay in my bed. Also waking up very tired would help me keep more of a level head. I have strayed away from this, but I still try to stay up late because it is the only time I am remotely at peace. I wake up in a pool of sweat every night, to the point where my bed is so moist that I need to take my t-shirt off and lay down a town to not lay in a pool of sweat.
When I wake up in the morning I know get a physical sensation that feels like a tingly blanket is wrapped around my body making my mind think it is hard to move. It is starting to scare me. My mind immediately starts racing, thinking fear fueled thoughts that stick with me throughout the day. I know I need to get up instead of wallowing in these debilitating thoughts but I am so tired most of the time I just let the feelings beat me down to the point of tears and hitting myself in the face.
Going to class still proves to be nearly pointless, besides attendance points, because I am unable to focus for more than a few seconds or minutes. I feel like a sad goldfish. After my classes are finished for the day, I nap and just put off my homework because I lack the motivation to do it. I have been working out with a friend, and that feels good but it's hard to do things alone.
I feel like I am annoying the living shit out of one of my friends who has been helping me though this. One of my main anxieties this week is that my EX girlfriend, who I am still cripplingly in love with, will be visiting the same college I am this weekend and attending a party that I will be at as well. I am so scared to see here. I lock up when I do and freak out. I put all of my control staying sane in her (even though she did not know that), so it makes sense that seeing her makes me insane lol.
I really hate how I feel throughout each day. I feel so detached from reality and everyday feels like a lucid nightmare. I am going to another counseling session today, but I just don't know how to help myself because after I leave the meeting and am alone, I'm lost. My thoughts never stop racing. I have a paper to write tonight for school, but I am scared that I will not get myself to do it because I am so tired emotionally and physically. I cannot focus on one thing my anxiety just causes me to go in circles and I hate doing the work alone, which tonight I know I will have to. My anxiety gets a bit easier to deal with at night but my depression gets a bit more intense. I need this to stop. It is ruining what is supposed to be one of the best times of my life and I'm just fucking wasting away.
Well I have been using this website for around a day now and I am overwhelmed with the support that I have been getting and I cannot thank you all enough.
You are wonderful. You’re so brave to share so deeply. I’m really proud of you.
Perhaps you could discuss your racing thoughts and anxiety today in therapy.
And hey, your ex isn’t there yet. You’re telling your brain she is and prolonging the agony you think you’ll feel. Try to think of it as exposure therapy when you see her.
Get out of your head and do something with your hands. Your paper!
Thank you. I do plan on expressing these feelings and thoughts in therapy today. That is also an amazing idea to consider this weekend exposure therapy! I do need to tell myself we are not there now so why think about it. I've got to get into the mindset of removing the umbrella from over my head when there is no rain. Thank you for all of your support.
Thankfully I don't struggle with depression, but GAD and Panic attacks are my 'buddies' on a daily basis. What I have been told by my doctors is that the “stress hormone” cortisol is released by the adrenal glands in response to fear or stress. Researchers have studied Trusted Source the cortisol awakening response (CAR) and have found that cortisol is highest in the first hour of waking for people with an increased level of stress in their lives. This helps explain why you may experience an increase in anxiety in the morning. Also, if you have a stressful event before going to bed or an anxiety episode during the night, it is most probable that your mornings will be greeted by GAD. Although I have been prescribed meds for anxiety, I don't like abusing them. So every night before going to bed I drink a hot organic camomile tea with honey and cinnamon. It seems to help because I sleep like a baby until 4 am when My panic alarm clock goes off. Wholefood, I have lived like this for 30 years and I have learned to deal with it in a way that I can function. People around me and at work-- with the exception of my children, significant other and best friend-- don't even know I have GAD and Panic attack syndrome. Keep your chin up. You are beautiful, smart and kind, and that is the most important thing. You have goals and dreams... I know how difficult it is to focus but I can assure you that you will get to where you want to be, regardless of the crisis you have to struggle with. I don't know your beliefs, but I am a Christian and I believe that God never allows us to go through more than what we can handle. Be strong, be brave, be you. Hugs.
Thank you for telling me about CAR it makes a bit more sense to me to hear a scientific perspective. I have not believed in God for quite some time and currently I am drifting even further away from the thought of him due to the fact I am encroaching on more than I can handle. It's ruining my life.
I believe in God. I'm not that religious but I don't think you can count on that. I believe that the meds working together is more of a bit of luck. I take wellbutrin for depression, lamictal for bi polar, risperidone for OCD and klonopin for in between times when I'm experiencing one of the above. I sit here and need to go to the gym. Eventually I'll leave the house. My anxiety kills me before leaving. I think about my health and go. It's so painful, I nearly lose my mind though. I hope you can find something that you can't avoid. Let me know how you do.
Hi. My life is pretty close to yours. I'm fine at night but when I awake the nightmare begins. I begin to want out of life but my magic pills take some of the pain away. I take a benzodiazepine called klonopin. Good drug but highly addictive. I have to weigh the good vs the bad. However it allows me to see and live in a comfortable world. I wish you peace and happiness soon. Best regards.
I currently take Zoloft. Do you have any clue about psychiatrists prescribing both a form of benzodiazepine and long term medication at the same time? I believe that incorporating both when my anxiety is unbearable could help keep me level headed.
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My dr did prescribe a benzo when I first started anti depressants. He only gave me 30 pills to help get me over the hump of those first few weeks on anti depressants. Klonopin works great but it is highly addictive. You need to only take it when absolutely necessary.
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I understand that. That’s what I would want it for because there are times where my anxiety is so insurmountable that I cannot function. Would it be a valid question to ask my psychiatrist?
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Absolutely a valid question to ask!
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Okay cool. Thank you, I think that is something that I would benefit from. I appreciate you very much my brother/sister.
You’re welcome. It such a good drug...too good actually. Just proceed with caution!
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My psychiatrist actually brought up Klonopin and prescribed me it this morning on her own. Funny how things work
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Morning Anxiety Techniques
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