My boyfriend just told me he'll never ever feel like he should be alive or happy because of me... How am i supposed to feel? 🙈 We had a fight about our relationship and basically i wasn't exactly easy to be with last year, and i hurt him bad with my words a lot. I hate that i did that and ive tried so hard to turn myself around. But all he ever does is remind me of how horrible a person i am. Last year he cheated on me a few times and doesnt acknowledge how badly hes damaged me from that. It still affects me badly. I cant even look in the mirror. Everytime i come to him for comfort he tells me how horrible i was last year and abandons me and my feelings. I understand why hes hurt, but i just wish he'd be there for me and understand that hes hurt me too...
What do i do: My boyfriend just told me... - Anxiety and Depre...
What do i do
your being gaslighted......google it please....and get out of that relationship.
Its so hard for me. Hes my first love and idk what to do, how to feel, i just want to break down but i cant because im at work fighting the tears. He basically msged me now saying we should break up and i dont even know what to do.
Okay.....he cheated on you......and now he says: he'll never ever feel like he should be alive or happy because of you...there's your answer as to what to do my friend.....why would you want to put yourself in a no win situation....it's the definition of insanity....doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. When this person has you convinced you’re the reason for their own problems....I mean BS....this is just their built in ticket to cheat again because ...you.... make them unhappy........ then why are you with them, why is he still around..... This is an unhealthy situation and you deserve better. Don't be this guy's doormat. Be with someone who wants to be with you, and respects you.....if you feel you need to do some personal growth therapy, great. But anyone who really loves you will accept you warts and all.....
This made me feel so much better thank you, really! But im not sure how to deal with a breakup considering ive never been through one before
I would seriously consider counseling to get an unbiased professional to help you.
Read this. This is exactly what he is doing to you. He cheated and is now telling you what a horrible person you are and blaming it on you? No way. He is the cheat and he chose to do it. It's got nothing to do with you. Don't listen to this louse and get him right out of your life now. Do it. Read this link now. x
We all have a first love in our past. It’s a good learning experience. Moving on.
Faux artist gave you a lot of great advice and insight. We’re not just telling you this to make you feel better; it really is him, not you!
Agreed. He is toxic to your health and you need to remove him from your life in order to get better. I agree with everything Fauxartist said as well. Please consider the fact that if anyone ever makes you feel like garbage, they are not worth your time (that includes friends, family, and significant others). You need support and love, not abuse in any form.
that is awful, he is using you to make himself feel a bit better, i get a similar thing with someone~~they can be bastards, but it can be difficult to get away, this forum helps you understand more about what you can really do for yourself.
What a passive-aggressive ass. You don’t want him there. You want a person with a backbone who doesn’t throw your past in your face and pretend their pain is because of you. He’s a grown ass man. He can go get his own therapy and move on. Find someone who earns the wonderful you that you are. Let him go grow up.
Leave quickly.
The posts from Fauxartist, Hypercat54 and Black Cat Girl are extremely well stated. You say he is your first love but you deserve so much more. Life is too short and you need someone who will be there for you thru good and bad.
Hello,
Sorry you are going through this kind of relationship. I had a boyfriend when I was in college. He told me he loved me. He was my first boyfriend and I wanted him to be my last. One day, I learned that he had another girl in his school. I was angry and upset. Because I was angry, I broke up with him and after I said the word, I blame myself.
I decided to wait for another guy, someone who would really care and sincere. I waited for a year and then I met another guy who is now my husband for almost 24 years. Breakups are painful and sometimes it’s hard to deal with. It’s important that you have someone to talk to or you will surround yourself with positive people. When I was going through my break up, I was surrounded with friends in my dormitory and they are a big help to me. I pray for God’s guidance and you will have peace everyday. Keep us posted, we are here for you. God bless.
Im sorry i agree with gaslighting!!
If he loved u he would love and support u and recognise u have problems so support u more and reassure u, not CHEAT ON U... then make u feel like u deserved it coz u are a HORRIBLE PERSON, jesus !!!
He is the horrible person...
also if ur so horrible why does he not just move on... il tell u why coz he likes to have someone that he can make feel bad so he feel good, it controling and very toxic.
For ur own sanity MOVE ON !!
Im sorry sweetie but that man is a wrongon and also im afraid he does not love u....
Put urself in position this was happening to ur sister, brother , best friend what would u tell them to do if you saw this all goin on with then. U would tell them to get the hell out.
It will prob b sad at first but then ur prob feel free and happier as u havent got a bag of rubbish in ur life any more.
KNOW YOU WORTH!!!
Everything that everyone has said so far is right on the money! You are not alone is this my dear. We have all been there at some point in our lives. When I was in high school I was with a guy for almost 6 years that completely destroyed me. Him and I would fight about the dumbest things, and there was even a few different points in the relationship where he cheated on me, and for some reason at the time I thought that it was something I did that made him do it and kept taking him back. There was emotional and physical abuse at different points of the relationship. Every time I would run to one of my friends and they would tell me the same thing, that he was a piece of crap for treating me that way and that I deserved better, but I had such a hard time believing it myself. Eventually I ended up putting an end to it all, and as hard as it was at the time, it was the best decision I could have made for myself. There will be heartbreaks and disappointments throughout life, there is no shortage of that, but, one would never know the light if they had never spent time in the dark. One does not truly understand and appreciate happiness without sadness first. Please do not let someone who is supposed to love and care for you burn out your light. In time I hope that you will see that you are and deserve so much better than what you are letting yourself have now. None of us are perfect, we all have our issues. When you find that person who is able to see those imperfections and accept them for what they are and love you for all your bumps, bruises and scars, then you will feel the difference. I wish nothing but peace and happiness for you and I hope that you will be able to make whatever decision you find it best for you. Everyone here is amazing and so uplifting and ready to lend an ear and offer support. All the best to you <3
Maybe apologize for what you said and then he has to excuse to keep holding that against you. He should own up to his mistake too and if he doesn’t keeps manipulating your emotions like that then maybe you should just let him go.
Sweetie, he is emotionally breaking you down. That is such a bad relationship. He may be your first love but you need to leave and move on. He's cheated on you and keeps bringing up the past to hurt you. You should leave him than when you get over him and is ready for another relationship, find someone who will build you up and help you through everything. Don't let him put everything on you and hurt you. He seems like a type of person to take advantage of someone who is easy to control or something. I do hope things get better for you. I'm here of you ever need to talk.
~Sky
(Edit- I know this post is a month old but I felt as if I need to still say that to you)
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