Depression Relapse

[the-man-kid]

I am an engineering student suffering from depression and inferiority complex. I feel like I am not that good. I got into one of the premier institutes of India and honestly competition is tough here! I even compare myself with my bf, and sometimes feel overwhelmed and traumatized by my own thoughts. I even wanted to break up, but I love him and couldn't. I talked to him and he is really willing to help me get out of it. But I just can't, I tried a lot but am again being pulled into the depths of depression. Please help!!

[Moon_B]

Do you see a professional to help you with your depression? I understand the stress to compare yourself with your boyfriend. I do that too. It is not a healthy dynamic so I work on it and try to stop my thoughts as soon as they pop up. Try to think more rationally about it even if it is challenging. Breaking up with him because you think he is better than you makes no sense because he never thought of you as less good, only you think of yourself this way. Sometimes we transfer our fears and thoughts and we think it is real but it is not. Your boyfriend loves you, if he wants to leave he could but he doesn’t for a reason.

Be kind to yourself even if it feel strange to you to do it you have to try to be kind because you probably over-criticised yourself which makes you feel worst and unworthy. You are good, you simply have to work on your thoughts and find appropriate help.

Hope you it helped a little bit, take care of yourself.

[LilyAnnepuppy]

If you were accepted into a premier institute, you deserve to be there. For most of my life I tried to do better than my best. It can’t be done. I do what I can do a day at a time, and what will be will be. Everything will be okay in the end, and if it’s not okay, it’s not the end.

[bluemoon2u]

Who determines the yardstick for "that good"? When I was in engineering I always felt bad when I looked up the mountain and measured myself by how far down I was. One day I realized how truly blessed I was--I wasn't number one in the class however I was above thousands who tried and didn't make it. Helping others climb the mountain is where I broke myself of the not good enough thoughts. I found I was good enough to help them succeed....and it grew into I am happy with my gifts. period. no measurement stick needed. I should mention I am a have a cluttered messy house, can kill healthy plants by looking at them, and am terrible at the discipline it takes to finish the last details. However, I can share my experiences with others, tutored others through "impossible" classes, am there for my friends and am known for being a bright spot in people's days. Spend each day counting the number of times you make someone smile---it is a very small positive contribution to each life and it will give you a different stick to measure yourself by. 9 people today? Can you get 10 smiles tomorrow? If I measured my life by how long my plants lived I would not get up in the morning

[Dolphin14 in reply to bluemoon2u]

Great reply. I'm sure I've killed more plants than you lol.

[CatIsMyCopilot]

I'm an engineer too (software engineer) and I struggle with anxiety. I constantly think I'm not good enough.

I kind of always struggled with these feelings, but before I developed an anxiety disorder they were pretty manageable. Actually back then I *used* anxiety over this to motivate myself to work/study hard. Now that I am struggling with anxiety getting out of control (anxiety attacks), it's a lot harder, as I feel I can't access that as a motivator any more.

I also constantly compare myself to others as well. For me, my anxiety definitely exacerbates this.

I guess I hope to tell you that you're not alone in struggling with such feelings.

Is there a school counselor you could see? They probably see this a lot, and could help advise.