Anxiety Guilt

[EmmaChiara]

Hi, I’m a 24 year old female seeking support with some pretty debilitating anxiety. I’ve never had it before until this point in my life and it’s scaring me. I’ve had to quit my job and move home. This once career driven social butterfly is now an unemployed loner. I’m trying this platform because there aren’t many support groups in my area for this sort of thing. I also have issues being completely alone in my house when my parents leave. I read a lot of people’s anxiety journey and to be honest I feel guilty because so many other people have been through way worse in their lives, like actual trauma. I’ve turned into a weakling and a coward. Feel free to reach out to me if you’re in a similar situation! 💙

[lettingoffsteam]

Anxiety is a truly terrible thing and, unless you suffer from it, difficult to understand.I am 55 and have struggled with anxiety throughout my life.Are you going out at all at the moment? Even a short walk outside can help enormously.Have you sought help from your GP.I am using online CBT to cope with a current health crisis.Perhaps that would help you.I hope you find the forum supportive as well.You are not alone and it will ease with time.

[EmmaChiara in reply to lettingoffsteam]

I’ve been to a traditional therapist and it’s helped a little, more in the beginning. I am currently able to drive a little bit now around my house but even going to church by myself this morning was a struggle. What online CBT do you use? Thank you for your reply.

[lettingoffsteam in reply to EmmaChiara]

It's called Ieso and it's used in Surrey where I live.I don't know where else it is available. It didn't take too.long to organize though.I'm glad you're getting out a bit and that you got to church, even if it was difficult.I also go to church and I have struggled to get there but I am always pleased when I have overcome the anxiety as I get so much support from friends there.Have you found any support that way?

[mvillarreal]

I don't think you're a weakling or a coward. Just because some people have had trauma and you haven't does not invalidate the way you feel. Out of curiosity, do you think there might be something that might have created the seemingly sudden bout of anxiety?

[EmmaChiara in reply to mvillarreal]

A lot has changed for me in the past few months. I’m originally from New Jersey but was living in Pittsburgh for a few years because I went to school out there. I was living with a guy for almost a year and then he moved out. I was continuing working for two months living alone and then started getting panic attacks at work out of nowhere. I was in management and things started getting out of control with my employees. I just think I had a lack of support for a while and in the end couldn’t handle it thank you for your reply.

[mvillarreal in reply to EmmaChiara]

Is there anyone you could turn to for support right now?

[TrustnGod]

Hello Emma. Your post could’ve been written by me because it’s so similar to my story. I’m so sorry your anxiety seems to have come without any reasoning. Something that helps me is to remember it’s a chemical imbalance that can honestly happen to anyone. Don’t feel guilty because it happened to you without cause.

I also struggle with staying home alone. It’s really difficult to explain to someone who doesn’t have anxiety because they act like I’m being over dramatic ya know?

Anyway, welcome to our wonderful site. I hope you will be able to find people to relate to because a lot of us do have the same struggles as you unfortunately. I hope you don’t mind me asking but are you doing anything to help the anxiety such as meditation, journaling, therapy, medication etc?

~Lia

[EmmaChiara in reply to TrustnGod]

Lia thanks so much for your reply. I completely agree that it’s difficult for people in my family to understand why being alone isn’t for me right now. It’s like they see me as a baby again, it’s tricky. Right now I’m seeing a therapist once every two weeks and taking CBD which has really helped with the panic attacks but I still don’t feel like myself. The attacks have subsided but there is still this underlying anxiousness. Is this my new reality? I couldn’t even go to a friends house yesterday because there would be people there I dont know. I used to thrive on meeting people...I’ve journaled a bit but haven’t been disciplined about it. Thanks again for responding 💙

[TrustnGod in reply to EmmaChiara]

Yes! They don’t even blink twice about leaving me alone and I hate being alone. It is really tricky. It’s a good thing you’re in therapy! I waited far too long and wasted so much money being tested before I went to therapy. I get you about the underlying anxiety. It never quiets itself and it’s so annoying! I don’t think it has to be your new reality. We have to learn to accept the anxiety and just allow it to be. Only then will it calm down but that’s so much easier said then done.

Do you have any physical symptoms as a result of your anxiety?

[Kat63]

It sounds like you’re in a tough time in your life. When I was your age, I had just finished college, and couldn’t find a job I felt good about, and had a dysfunctional relationship with my bf at the time.

Things did get better. I got better. Transitional times are the worst for me. I wish I had known at that time that I would feel better someday. It would have helped me.

[EmmaChiara in reply to Kat63]

Kat thanks so much for your reply. I agree I am in a transitional period and having a tough time coping with it. Lost a job, relationship, and apartment, which I know all were dysfunctional. What you say gives me hope, I just definitely don’t feel the same. Thank you 💜

[SAGuy81]

Don’t feel guilty . Stay strong

[Sabio77]

nice to meet you emmachiara. first and foremost, you are never alone. I a proud of you for reaching out to this forum. its a place of venting and learning. there are so many who go thru similar emotions. have you tried to discuss with a trusted family member or properly trained professional? the quicker you try to get proper help the better you are to begin good lasting recovery. I am an overcomer of 3 deep depressions. its a process and you can overcome it. have you found the cause or trigger? its one of the first important parts. then, how are you coping with the anxiety? these are essential to find out. not all meds are right for everyone. it takes a professional to discover the right one for you. you need to try to get fresh air everyday, drink water, and take slow deep breaths when anxiety kicks in. I send you hugs of encouragement. please keep us posted how things are going.