OCD KICKING IN

[Lynl]

I have health anxiety and yesterday my beagle mix has been diagnosed with lymphoma and we are cooking for her and determined to help her beat this , and now I’m feeling my lymph nodes unde my neck and saw a surgeon and he doesnot see anything to worry about and then I had my husband call the doctor because I’m a wreck and think something is wrong with me . If I take my tongue and push it to the floor if my mouth and push my finger under my jaw and try to touch from the inside and out I feel glands . I’m worried about my dog and freaking out on me too

[Geezer46]

hI Linl,

i am so sorry about your beagle mix,dogs become your family,i know from when we lost our dog Sheena she was so loving to us.

Like you i also suffer from health anxiety,it is truly awful,i am always suffering from some awful disease [in my head].I rely on my wife so much to tell me i am o/k,so i really know how you feel Linl.If you wish to write to me about h/a i will only be too happy to reply.

I hope your beagle pulls through for you i am sure you will do your best.

Best wishes to you and your dog,Geezer46.

I

[Lynl in reply to Geezer46]

Yes h/a is horrible and in public I’m out going and like to be really busy working out but at home I’m always asking my husband to check to see if he has the same feelings ,and checking with surgeons I’m driving people nuts, sometimes it eases and sometimes I jump from one thing to another . Is your wife understanding , my husband tries to be but he gets frustrated , I ask the same question over and over. Thanks for listening, I’m always happy to listen too

[Geezer46 in reply to Lynl]

My wife is understanding up to a point,but if i overdo the questions she may blow her top.I also jump from one thing to another as soon as i feel o/k another thing pops up and i am back to square one.This year i have had many scares and no one really understands how bad it is for us with h/a.

I have seen three consultants about different things got the o/k from each one only to get something else after a couple of days it drives me nuts.

I hope we can find a way out the maze Linl that would be great.

Best wishes to you and your o/h Geezer.

[Lynl in reply to Geezer46]

Oh wow , I do the same thing , I feel better about something and two minutes later , I question , does the surgeon know for sure if I’m ok? What if he missed it . Then I check again and think maybe this wasn’t here when he checked me! Ugh! It gets consuming, and I some times have to think what I went to the doctor the last time for , because I do it so much. Since my dog has had these giant lymph nodes , I can’t stop checking 🙄 . I’m glad this support group is here no one else understands this stuff

[Geezer46 in reply to Lynl]

Yes it is so very hard to understand Lynl,i think you have to have it, to know the fear that it causes.The constant checking and asking for reassurance is so very tiring.My doctor just keeps telling me to go to psychotherapy,i do but i do not think even my therapist understands it i am the only h/a sufferer she has on her books.

I wish you did not have h/a,but i am so happy to find someone the same as me Lynl.Self checking becomes a real chore,and i know what you mean about your dog having lymph nodes to anyone else we seem crazy.

I do not know anyone like me,or any groups to go to so i am also glad that you are on this group.

Geezer46

[Lynl in reply to Geezer46]

I am also glad to see you on here . Please always feel free to chat with me anytime as I’m not a great sleeper

[Geezer46 in reply to Lynl]

i live in the uk Lynl,so my mornings will most likely be sometime in your night.The mornings can be awful for any sort of anxiety,or if you wake in the night,or so i find anyway.

I rely on my wife most of the day for reassurance,she usually helps me.I do not look to google symptoms,but she will and that helps somewhat.Never google Lynl

it is a bad idea,i tried it what a mistake.

Geezer46

[Geezer46 in reply to Lynl]

Hi Lynl

i just wanted to ask, in a previous post you put that one thing jumps to another,what did you mean by that?

Do you think you have one disease then another,because if you do that is exactly how it is with me.I tend to believe my thoughts far too much.

I visit my doctor far too much and also hospital out patients,i bet you do too?

Does all the worry make you feel worn out i feel like i cannot relax any more.

Best wishes to you Geezer.

[Lynl in reply to Geezer46]

I think we are fraternal twins lol. Yes When I say one thing and do another yes, I know I feel like I have something ,then I get over it and start a whole new idea, just like this morning I was feeling my neck , the part of my neck that I have checked with the doctor and found a little tiny pea size thing on the other side😳and called that same doctor. I messed with it do much , it feels bigger now . And now I know he thinks I’m loosing it. So my husband said it was on the outside and looked like an irritation but I think it’s because I messed with it , so of course it looks red and irritated. Yes the obsessing wears me out . My husband supprised me with a yoga package to get me focused somewhere relaxing . But as soon as I leave I’m freaked out all over again. I need it to stop

[Geezer46 in reply to Lynl]

Yes Lynl h/a is as i once read the impossible illness,to me it is like a frog that jumps from one lily pad to another lol.

We are very much alike because this is what h/a does,it tricks our minds and we believe it.

Things we see on the tv,the newspapers and events in life all affect us.Why do you think yoga did not help you?mindfulness did not help me because it makes you think about parts of your body and if you have a headache you do not want to think about your head.It made me feel worse,like you i would mess about with the pea.

Reflexology is nice and relaxing but again once it is over but like yoga when it is over you freak again.

One thing i find works is distraction a good film before bed can relax you along with that i have a hot mug of cacao[not cocoa] and a couple of biscuits.Booze takes off anxiety,but you feel worse the next day[so not helpful]

Geezer46.

[Lynl in reply to Geezer46]

Well since I called the doc about another part of my neck , he is now saying To get a CT to clear my mind and when I first saw him he said That there was no reason to get one but now that I’ve called and driven him nuts , he is saying to go get one , His nurse called and said if he thought something was wrong he would’ve had you here way sooner and that would test , but because it’s bothering me it will relieve my stress and my husband doesn’t understand why I want to check out a possible pimple on my neck because I feel tiny pea thing and he said there isn’t. The nurse called and said if he thought something was wrong she would’ve had you here way sooner and that He ordered it because it’s bothering me , or maybe he didn’t feel it and just to check. He said it will relieve my stress and my husband doesn’t understand why I want to check out a possible pimple on my neck because I feel tiny bump . So now I’m questioning to wonder if the doctor just missed it but the other guy said I should not be worried about it in so many words now I’m free because I don’t want to wait on the test results. It really aggravating on the mind

[Geezer46 in reply to Lynl]

So pleased that your doctor is giving you a ct scan.I hope it puts your mind at rest i understand why you want a scan even though your husband and doctor do not think so.

A pimple is not just a pimple to us with h/a it is mount Everest,it is really important for you to to know it is nothing to worry about.I am sure you will be o/k Linl.

Best of luck Geezer46.

[Lynl in reply to Geezer46]

Thank you