Hello everyone,
This is my first time using this app in hopes that I find people like me. I am married, early 30.s, no children, and I find myself doing self sabotaging behaviors such a drinking often and being unfaithful. I am ashamed of the second behavior particularly. Does anyone else relate?
Yes I can relate to the drinking. Battling it for seven years now. I feel awful, always hung over, getting fatter every day, sixty pounds up now. For some reason I keep doing it. Doing somewhat better for a bit but it's the only thing that makes me feel temporarily better. Self sabotage is common. It because of our self worth I think. You can overcome this. One thing at a time. If you love your spouse don't cheat because you will be in a worse situation in the long run. Work out things with him if you can. I wouldn't share that info with him but stop and focus on the marriage. If it's not good then end it and move on. Lots of self reflection right now would be good. Hang in there and don't punish yourself. Let it go, forgive yourself and vow to work on it and you will feel better. Pm me if you want.
Thank you for the support, I stopped the infidelity a couple years back after feeling even worse. The drinking is still an issue though. Is it just the drinking for you or also eating?
Both but when I drink I don't eat. Both making me so fat and then I hate the way I look. Can't even look in the mirror. I used to be so fit and a size four even after my baby so I'm so embarrassed. My husband is a younger bodybuilder so I look like his mother now. I won't even see old friends because I am ashamed and it certainly affects our sex life. 😣
I drink 4 days per week, but I joined kickboxing and yoga. Have you tried getting into a physical activity that you enjoy? It’s helped me get all my anger out. Yeah I know what you mean. I had gained 20 lbs last year and dropped them after my blood pressure went up. They were about to put me on meds and I could not accept it so I started eating better and exercising everyday. Do you know what makes you want to drink?
We both drink. I’ve been drinking since I was 17/18 for fun of course. Then with breakups and depression I drank to cover up the pain. Now I think it’s just a habit more then anything. We were getting out of control for a bit drinking during the week and going to work hungover. So we made a plan and said no more than two drinks during the week. It’s been working pretty well. We don’t drink at all 3 days. Mostly because it’s so dehydrating I don’t crave it all the time. I just enjoy it so much now.
I think it helped for us when we realized we won’t stop, but had to cut it down for health sake. Thank you for sharing your story and good luck with everything.
Thank you. You too.
I relate in a different way, as I'm a diabetic who's so fed up with my diabetes that I sometimes eat anything and everything, self sabatosge also. Get counciling.
Thank you, yes I am going to go back to counseling. I am trying to get the courage to be open about it in the session though. That’s the rough part. I am so ashamed.
That's good, but don't ashamed, Trust me you're Not alone. It may feel like it, but you're not. You can always write here we won't Judge
I am very familiar with fighting alcohol. And infidelity. If you want to PM me, I’ll gladly tell you my story and explain how I recovered. I can also identify with depression and anxiety, but there was a point at which I couldn’t tell what was the drinking and what was the other mental illness. I have to treat both. Good luck to both of you (poster and person who replied. Lynne
First, thanks for your honesty! That is the first step to getting healthy. You are brave!
I can relate to many of your concerns and comments. Christian counseling helped me in my 30's because it made me aware of my "past" issues, my triggers, and my addictions. It gave me a safe place to vent, cry, be honest with myself and someone else who I was not personally involved with, and strategies to change my behaviors. It was life changing. Would you consider counseling?
Alcohol - Self-Medication
Self absorbed
Low self esteem
Violence and destruction in protests
Balance: work and self care
