The only cure: Does anyone actually... - Anxiety and Depre...

Anxiety and Depression Support

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The only cure

Sad2Bme profile image

Does anyone actually believe there is a cure for depression ? I've been depressed all my life, no amount of therapy and no prescription meds for depression or Bi-Polar have made a difference, and I'm pretty old !! I feel the key to unlock my depression would be to have real friends who truly care and are willing and want to make time for me in their busy and happy lives. I believe depression will be cured when this selfish world begins to look beyond their own self-centered lives and begins reaching out to those of us who live alone, have no boyfriend or husband or even a best friend to hang out with on a regular basis. It's really not hard to take a minute to think of those people who could use company or need someone to talk to. We don't need pills or therapists. We need real friends who will make time for us. We need family and friends who will make us feel important. Does anyone else out there feel the same way ?

47 Replies

Hi sad2bme, I am very lonely but feel better when I write or talk with people in an anxiety free space. Would you like to write?

Sad2Bme profile image
Sad2Bme in reply to Jshor05

Yes, of course !! I am soooooo depressed 😥

Jshor05 profile image
Jshor05 in reply to Sad2Bme

I like your profile picture, it’s cheerful. I never realized it until I was diagnosed as an adult that I was depressed most of my life. I prefer to write individually than to post. My father had a drinking problem which affected me as a child of an alcoholic. I joined alanon family groups, an organization of relatives and friends ofaddicts. It helps.

Joel

Sad2Bme profile image
Sad2Bme in reply to Jshor05

Thanks for getting back with me. Im very sorry about your family issues growing up. That's awful !!

Jshor05 profile image
Jshor05 in reply to Sad2Bme

How are you feeling today?

marheart profile image
marheart in reply to Jshor05

Writing is a wonderful idea!

Every morning I wake up startled and scared. Then express at least one gratitude. "I am grateful for....." Then I write it down.

Before bedtime I write down at least one thing I'm grateful for from the day. "I am grateful for.....". It can be the smallest of the smallest thing from the day or the opposite to give gratitude for several bits of progress.

This morning I was startled awake, ready to jump out of bed and run away. I expressed gratitude that I could see the window, the ceiling, the clothes dresser, etc. That was enough of a distraction for me to reach for my walker and walk into the living room.

Any size accomplishment is a huge accomplishment for me. "I'm grateful that I rolled over and made it safely out of bed."

Jshor05 profile image
Jshor05 in reply to marheart

I appreciated your post, mornings are hard, I will record one thing I’m grateful for everyday. Thank-you. I am trying to learn to make my bed in the morning, I hear it’s good therapy.

marheart profile image
marheart in reply to Jshor05

Try it, you might like it!

Any bit of help is better than suffering now and having expectations of it to get worse. My Therapist says I make it worse by inviting those thoughts into my mind. Think it won't happen and eventually it won't happen.

Humnnnnn!

See if you can find a support group. People who won't judge you. That's what I'm doing. I don't think there's a cure for depression, but it can go into remission. I've had depression all my life also but it has gone into remission at times.

Sad2Bme profile image
Sad2Bme in reply to bonkers65

Yes, I agree. Mine has gone into remission, but for no more than a few days. It seems that it takes the slightest thing to cause me to go right back into depression after a day or two of feeling better. This is why I'm wandering if I'm Bi-Polar or Borderline Personality Disorder and not Major Depression. I have tried every anti-depressant, none worked. My new Psychiatrist put me on an anti-psychotic, Seroquel and at first it worked, but although my dosage has been increased, it has lost its effectiveness. The only thing it does for me now is keep me from crying.

bonkers65 profile image
bonkers65 in reply to Sad2Bme

Yes I wonder the same thing too. If I'm bi-polar or Personality Disorder. I've tried a lot of anti-depressants and most of them made me feel worst but none made me feel better. It's funny you mentioned Seroquel because I was thinking about asking my Dr. about it. Or maybe Olanzapine. I have a friend who takes it and he thinks it may be helping him some. I don't know what I'm going to do.

Seroquel will make you sleep alot. So you can escape life. But I dont think it cures depression.

Sad2Bme profile image
Sad2Bme in reply to bonkers65

I'm not sure if Seroquel is working, but I know anti-depressants didn't. I'm at 150 mg. Wander if I need a higher dose ? It helps me go to sleep at night, but doesn't make me tired during the day. Probably because I have high anxiety levels. Always in "fight or flight" mode. Could I be experiencing Mania ?

bonkers65 profile image
bonkers65 in reply to Sad2Bme

I don't know what to tell you on going up on the Seroquel. I guess you could try. That's something you will have to decide. But about the mania, I'm not a Dr. but I think mania or hypomania is like a feeling of euphoria where you're not depressed anymore.

bonkers65 profile image
bonkers65 in reply to Sad2Bme

I forgot to tell you that I take Neurotin for my anxiety and it helps some. Not 100 percent by any means, but it does kinda take the edge off.

Sad2Bme profile image
Sad2Bme in reply to bonkers65

Thank you !! I'll look into support groups. Very good idea 😊

In some people, I read (researched) that some are born with depression & something later in life just triggers it. I'm one of them. My mother was as well. She was actually placed in a mental hospital once for hers. Mine was triggered when I was very young, a child. I abused at a very young age. Maybe the actual trigger was at the youngest age we can actually understand that something that happened to us was bad & how it truly made us feel when it happened. But I do know it was young.

Now, I don't know if my depression is still with me because of the stuff still going on in my life, parents passed away & other people I cared deeply for have, something life-changing happened with my son & my toddler niece, & current life events & all of it happening within a span of 5 years. My depression is at the darkest I've felt it ever. It's scary. It's why I'm here. Hoping to find someone that I can talk to that shares the same feelings & see what we each do that help that might help each other. Or just something.

I've been my share of therapy. I've tried different ones & forms. Nothing helped me.

I do have a friend that I can talk to that can bring me back when I am a point where I'm about to want to leave it all behind me & say forget it, just end it right now. She was always there for that & knew just what to say. Even made me laugh.

I'm still depressed & yes, I think the same thing, it'll never go away. I do think that we need to find that one person that knows the right words to bring us back when we really need it! Or else, we're not going to make it, not on our own. That's what I think anyway, that's what I fear...

Thank you for your reply. Do you still have that special friend to talk to ?

Yes. I've had her, roughly 8 years. It's important to have at least 1 person to trust all of your emotional stuff with/to.

I do hope you have that & if not, hope you're able to that.

The last time she helped pull me out of a complete meltdown was exactly a week ago. My husband was in the ER & I wasn't able to be there because of having children at home, one already in bed sleeping. Last call I had with him he told me he had a possible blood clot & that's what caused my mom's death 4 years ago. I truly was losing my mind & my best friends pulled me out of it so I could confront the kids without looking like I just got done crying my eyes out.

Those kinds of friends are rare to come by & do hope you have one or find one.

I'm didn't cure my depression but it did help with an outlet to lesson the pain & thoughts that cause it.

Thank you..my one true friend has a very busy life, so has no time to get together. I'm thankful for her..at least she calls on a regular basis ..but I need someone whom I can spend quality time with. I guarantee, if I can find someone who can "hang out" with me, my depression will be lessened. Right now I am feeling like a "reject" 😥

I just spoke to one of those friends last night because my husband still isn't doing good at all. Scary not good. I let out all my fears to her & she literally just lost her brother-in-law.

She actually has gone through a lot so well these past couple years, just like me.

After I started feeling better I told her, I made a deal with her that, after I know that my husband is going to be okay, you're going have to promise to call me one day out of the month & make that call all about you, nothing else but you. I don't care of you can't cry all you have to do to talk about all that should make you cry & hurt.

She's just like me, helps everyone but herself. She deserves at least one day a month just for her!

Get that one friend to make it all about you for one day a month. We all need it that suffer like we do.

I don’t think there is a cure, but I do think that letting how you feel out can be therapeutic.

Sad2Bme profile image
Sad2Bme in reply to wileykitt

Thank you. I feel better now just being a part of this group 😊

Yeah... i 100% agree with u

Sad, but true..I feel we are all warriors fighting a daily battle.

I'm going to make a real effort to meet new people and find a "real" friend. Far as I'm concerned, the old ones have to go for leaving me all to myself like this.

Sad but true

Yeah sometimes u gotta do what’s best for u even tho, it may hurt you or others

marheart profile image
marheart in reply to Sad2Bme

How can friends (former friends) understand what we are going thru when we don't understand it ourselves.

Yes I agree socializing helps so much although I am my own worst enemy as even when I am invited depression often stops me going. I also need meds to keep me stable but definately think I need less of them when I manage to engage more with others. Perhaps find a group for others in similar situations. Recovery colleges often run groups or know where they are and can put you in touch with them. Good luck

I believe it's a chronic illness. Sounds like we are all on the same page.

I have a great support system. Family and supportive friends. But, even with that, I struggle.

I can relate to you. I have suffered years of anxiety and depression which is so debilitating. I have found so much help and support from my local church, I don't know what i would do without them. There is also many activities and groups always going on. Maybe you could get involved with a good understanding church in your area if you haven't already!

Sad2Bme profile image
Sad2Bme in reply to Ragdoll15

Yes, church helps me alot, as well .. if it weren't for God, I would be in much worse shape. I find listening to Christian music is very uplifting, also. There are some real good Christian bands out there. It helps me to learn the lyrics which are all positive.

Agreed. People are just living too fast and being overly busy, the simple days of drinking lemonaide on the porch swing with friends are over. Everyone is so stressed because of greed. Its very sad. And you are right, we all need a true friend. Pray for one? I have a hard time making friends, where can one go anymore to meet people? I use to go to the local pub, but all I was meeting there were alcoholics and it was awful.

Sad2Bme profile image
Sad2Bme in reply to Anxietygal2

It's so true !! I feel there must be something wrong with me since I'm the one always reaching out. It makes me feel unimportant, invisible, rejected and unlovable.

marheart profile image
marheart in reply to Sad2Bme

No one can Make Us feel anything. My feelings are who I am.

Google feeling words. Find one that you can relate to now. That's you. Now.

No one is going into your brain and body and forcing you to feel anything.

As long as you take control to learn about your feelings from your own emotions then you can change them.

Therapist told me today if I want to be able to cope I have to be willing to do the things I don't want to do, the scary things.

There is no magic pill. No easily defined cause for the symptoms, and scientists have never found a cure for the millions of us who suffer.

By writing this just now I recognize I feel Anger. That's an unusual feeling for me. I'm grateful for that insight. I will look forward to write about how Anger feels for me.

That is strange you said that, I sometimes feel invisible too! I felt like that all day today! I guess it stems from our lack of friendships or feeling like no one cares.

Sad2Bme profile image
Sad2Bme in reply to Anxietygal2

So therefore, I blame people 😬 !!!

marheart profile image
marheart in reply to Anxietygal2

Are you focusing on yourself or what you think others might be thinking?

Concentrate on the most important person in your life. Take control of yourself. Learn about your feelings. Advocate for yourself.

You can do it. I know you are waiting and wondering how to help yourself. Write about the daily processes remembering to praise yourself in order to follow your truth.

Also, when we have panic attacks our 1st reaction is to call someone, and when they dont answer or call back it is really a blow to our self esteem.

Sad2Bme profile image
Sad2Bme in reply to Anxietygal2

True..so true !! That's exactly why I'm depressed, lonely, anxious, hurt, and feel so unimportant and worthless. It's PEOPLE that cause me to feel this way by not returning my calls, just flat out ignoring me, and I get so angry at the fact that no one ever reaches out to check on me. Talk about heartless and self-centered !! It's time I find "real" friends and ditch these uncaring ones I have now 😩

marheart profile image
marheart in reply to Anxietygal2

Do a role reversal.

If you heard the message you intend to leave for them, would you call yourself back? I'm confused by this person I've turned into.

How can anyone on the outside understand this transformation, if I can't understand it and it is happening to me.

I give you tons of credit for being willing to reach out for friendship.

My phone is set on answering machine so I don't have to hear robot talk and I don't want to talk at all. Onward! Onward!

I’ve had clinical depression all my life. Mine stems from a brain injury as a child. I think as we learn the myriad of causes for it the more we’ll get some answers.

One reason in my age group is the heavy use of marijuana (a depressant) as teens.

Almost everyone has had a head injury.

Some are effected by hormones and stress. Some have depression from genetics. It’s a symptom of an underlying cause. Find that underlying cause and there are lots of cures. Will insurance cover it and make it available to the every day person? It’s not pills so I’m going to guess ‘no’.

I have a brain injury, as well. It's a benign tumor found 15 years ago. It's slow-growing so they don't feel it needs to be removed yet, but I'm wandering if it could be causing my anxiety/ depression ? Marijuana is not great for ones mental or physical health, as people would like to believe. It actually caused me to have a major panic attack which went into psychosis, dissociation, derealization, etc..so I'll stick with my Clonazapam from now on. Very good medication that keeps me from having to go to the hospital. I would definitely cope better if I had better friends who would make time for me, though. I feel lonely and isolated as I live alone. What's wrong with people nowadays, that they can't make time for others ?

I had a brain tumor 20 years ago as well as my childhood injury. It was slow growing but it made me have two hemorrhages. They removed it. I now have two more ‘shadows’ after all these years. It could very well be the reason for your anxiety as this is considered a brain ‘injury’ technically.

They’ll find out in 15 years when the effects are horrendously expensive about the marijuana because it’s not like study after study hasn’t shown this already. It’s just not politically correct to tell the truth even in science.

Social media is what’s wrong with people in my opinion. It’s so much easier to be virtual friends and click in on your terms and on your time than to be bothered when someone might really need you. In reality people expect things and time from you. You can just turn off these friends when you want to do something else; like play 3D video games.

Studies show with the rise of social media depression and the feeling of isolation have become markedly worse and are increasing.

Regarding your tumor, was it a Meningioma that you had removed ? About social media, I agree that it's making people less available to those who need in-person socialization to help with loneliness, and isolation. My therapist says to get "out" every single day, and that has helped a whole lot 😊

My tumor was an unusually benign oligodendroglioma. Usually malignant mine encased itself in calcium.

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