We may not realise it but there is structure to our existence, this I have come to believe in the course of a long life.
Just as plants and animals evolve physically to a higher form, so we evolve to a higher form in terms of our character or essential self. Some say this evolution takes several lifetimes, we have passed this way before, we will pass this way again.
To learn the lessons that lead to the evolution of our spirit or essential self we have free will. Nothing is pre-determined, nothing is destined to be, it's up to us to make what we will of our lives.
Unfortunately, wisdom is often gained through suffering. That which does not destroy us makes us stronger and all that. Not for ever by still waters. So some folk encounter high anxiety and depression to cope with: we can deal with it because we have free will. No use blaming luck, fate or the Master of the Universe.
In time we overcome our high anxiety and depression or learn to control it. Life is not a fixed fate.
We are free to do what we will, thus with the inevitability of gradualness we evolve to a higher form.
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Written by
Jeff1943
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Hi Jeff, ~ I always enjoy your shared insight. My experience has shown me that the adage of "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger" is not always true given PTSD from trauma, be it war, sexual abuse etc. Resilience has always been one of my favorite words. Unlike the word 'hope" it's active. Yet even resilience can dissipate as life continues.
Why so much suffering? ~ It's not always up to us I've come to learn. Another word "Overcome" is also active, however it can also be means for suffering. When one actively in pursuit of overcoming and finding it elusive, the continued struggle for it can become insufferable. Here is where a non active word is preferable to me. "Acceptance" I never cared for it previously as I saw it as giving up. Simple acceptance is not giving up but I'm finding while hard to do, it has the potential for contentment without unnecessary suffering.
Yes indeed, Nickname, 'Acceptance' is the most powerful weapon for overcoming anxiety disorder that we have.Acceptance is the central theme of Claire Weekes' method which has brought recovery and relief to untold numbers. Her contribution to psychiatry is immense though still not fully recognised by clinicians.
Hope & Help for your Nerves is the Best book I have ever read re. help for Anxiety Disorders (and I've read many). I picked up her book in the 1970's, as well, & used to carry it in my purse when I went out alone (was fearful of going out alone for a time long time ago). She didn't mean "just" blindly accept, but acceptance with understanding. When we accept that the scary symptoms are Not dangerous then the Fear of them diminishes which diminishes our symptoms, etc. Acceptance shuts down the "fight/flight" in us & thus we are less tense, become calmer & thus these Scary symptoms no longer "scare" us, and we can go on with our lives. It's not easy, of course, but practice, practice, practice. Unfortunately, life brings stressors, loss (esp. the loss of loved ones in our older years which I am dealing with), suffering -well I do have a hard time understanding --But, yes wisdom does come with age --SO do regrets that "If Only I had known then what I know now," but would I have known if not for the suffering. I would like there to be a better way than Suffering, though! Dr. Claire Weekes is a GIANT in my book, and I don't think most clinicians even know who she was!
Claire Weekes' remedy for anxiety disorder completely changed the outlook for this condition and created a new generation of psychiatrists and therapists who have built on her method of positive acceptance. I have been an advocate of hers for almost 50 years.We should celebrate her achievements at every opportunity: just read the reviews of her books on the u.k. and u.s. versions of Amazon!
Yes, have read reviews on her! Besides her techniques, there was her endearing, compassionate way she went about writing as if she were sitting right beside us (her readers)! Hope --her HOPE Never waned, and thus it gave us Hope!
Wow... you nailed it... accepting what I cannot change...and understanding that some things just are. That covers a plethora of topics dealing with mental health and well-being...but for me...it means that some parents, for instance, are just not capable of love or nurturing. And some people are just not capable of being accountable for their actions when they lack empathy or the ability to feel for others, like guilt or caring.
I cannot change my childhood, it's done, ... but because those that caused the harm don't feel anything such as remorse, ...I have to accept that the abuse and trauma meant nothing to them more than just an amusement or random actions at that time, they probably didn't give it a second thought. Yet as an adult...I suffer from CPTSD...not of my choice of course, nor was the pre-disposition of depression that runs in my family and has no cure...you don't just get over it.
So I have to learn to accept what is....and learn coping mechanisms, and not let it define who I am and how I want to live my life.. I'm pretty content most of the time, and I just ride the emotional waves knowing they will change...it's accepted.
You are right faux that you can't change the past. You can only change your own reaction to it. What is essential like you said is acceptance and that lets you move on with your life.
It doesn't have to involve forgiving or forgetting as often we can't but it does mean not dwelling on and looking outward instead.
Of course we all feel very sorry for ourselves and why not? We have cause to after all, but limit the pity parties coz they aren't doing anyone least of all yourself any good.
I'm painting away and playing with the baby, now we have another one coming in some months from the middle daughter, and along with my family across the pond, who are breeders...the third one is on the way ....I'm a great auntie now...wow!
Your spot on women.... I agree 110%.... it's validation that we lived through hell as kids, and we didn't have many outlets to talk about it growing up. Nobody wants to know about it. So when you are in a place with understanding people who like you and me...we get it. We feel the pain.... always will to one degree or another....that's all part of the healing process...it's a life long thing....but now we aren't alone doing it.
Yeah...getting the blues sucks...but we know it will pass...that's the growth for me, that's the moving forward. The greatest thing for me now too is, all my sisters kids and partners kids were raised with a lot of love, and are good people who are very loving parents..so there's one family tradition changed for the better from my day, and that brings me joy.
Sounds great faux. Funny enough I had this conversation with my sister a couple of days ago.
She said when her son was born she realised she had no idea how to be a good parent. All she knew was she wasn't going down the same route as our mother.
She decided to emulate an ex-bf's mother who she knew well (I met her once) and was a lovely woman so she asked herself how she would have dealt with things and followed it.
I don't believe in fate either, and yes I believe in free will.... but I have an honest question for you... do you believe in genetic predisposition.... I'd be interested in hearing your take on that.
Yes, fauxartist. I do believe in genetic predisposition: I inherited my anxiety disorder from my mother who could trace it back to ancestors in Victorian times and also her varicose veins (venous insufficiency) which one of my daughters now has.
It's the same in my family....my great aunt, grandmother, and my mother did the family genealogy....and with letters from great, great grandmother on down, you can clearly see it. All of us in my family have it in various degrees, as do my sisters kids. I hope their kids will have a chance for a gene targeted therapy with the discovery of CRISPR and not have a life time of it like the rest of us has.
Goodness Jeff, what amazing timing. I was sitting here, like in a bagatelle game, wondering if I should go to the doctor (with something physical I have put off for too long).
You don't have to pull the camera back very far to see that lack of suffering leads to horrible, catastrophic immaturity. Those who never experience some significant pain become the worst, most spoiled brats.
In our fallen state, suffering is not only unavoidable, it is necessary.
Your philosophical musings about life are well put.
I would say that there is a path that some of us travel which is predestined on a basic level. What we do with the direction we are pushed to pursue is another matter. To worry and spend all our time wringing our hands about the next clinical trial , PSA test, new drug, etc. versus continue living our lives in a move vibrant way to be present for every moment.
I believe that a disease like advanced and incurable PCa is a tough diagnosis to get and for younger men with families, much more heart wrenching. Regardless of our particular situation, it is life changing physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. It may just be a matter of our accuity, intensity of feelings or deciding on the context of this in our lives in a broader sense.
I wish everyone to find the path that suits them best and that it provides them with what they need.
What you say at the beginning of your message, that there exists a synthesis or compromise between fate and free will, is a most interesting contribution to this question of predestination. Thank you.
I may choose a very different path from the one we were on just based on our diagnosis an dthe new world we have entered. This might be to mentor a young person, finally pursue art or a project we have always wanted to do, be more loving to everyone, or see places or have experiences that feed the soul.
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xx
Why do I hate myself so much? My journey to self love.
"Keep Talking" Pink Floyd
Not for everyone i agree but for me a change for the better.
So much anxiety
