Problems at work

I have difficultys at work my team leader bullying me , no one will believe me even if I have recorded

I hate my job and I'm scared to go to work

Don't know what to do

[Mary-intussuception]

This happened to me.

Unfortunately I hadn't joined the Union and felt there was no one I could talk to.

Is there anyone at all you think you could talk to about this in confidence.

After talking everything through you may be able to see more clearly what the right way forward is. What action you should take or if you can cope with taking no action.

Do you have a Pastor or Church Minister?

Have you considered talking to your Doctor?

Would you like to give more detail on here or in a private message?

The Curate from Church came to a meeting with me once.

What do you hate most about your job?

xx

[hypercat54]

Hi I have had this at work too and it's horrible. What you need to do is keep a list of every time it happens. Include the date and time and what was said. Very importantly say how it makes you feel.

Then when you have done this take it to your team leaders boss and ask her/him to look into it. It might well end up in mediation with the 3 of you and hopefully it can be sorted out.

It is not your fault and it's vital you remember this. x

[Hidden in reply to hypercat54]

Hypercat thanks for you suggestions

[hypercat54 in reply to Hidden]

You are very welcome my love. Even though this was around 12 years ago for me I well remember how pants it made me feel and how much I began to dread going into work. This would start on Sunday and I would feel physically sick. I ended up going sick from work for a couple of months.

When I returned she had picked on another member of her team who also went off sick and it wasn't until then I was believed. This woman had a back history of bullying too and they then moved her away from her position where she wasn't in charge of anyone for a couple of years, then they moved her back! Crazy. Good luck. x

[Hidden]

Hey there,

I'm really sorry you're dealing with this. Not much of a team leader if they're resorting to bullying. Unfortunate that they don't realize managing or leading a group of people requires multiple facets of getting results. Some people are okay with the intimidating stuff, some others see the bullying as "BS" banter, while others like inspiration. So on, so forth. Please know this is not your fault whatsoever. I see it fairly common where I work. Often, my bosses (several of them combined) have less experience than I do and it's irritating when they try to sell tough love or even resort to bullying. I nearly went to HR a month or two ago over one because an untrue rumor of my "work ethic" had spread to one egocentric/fast tracking to the top manager. I talked with another manager who rolled his eyes about this individual and assured me I was doing a great job, but here's a few things we'd like you to work on because we're (the management group) having to answer questions. Absolutely a world of difference in approach.

So with that said, are there other team leaders you could speak with in confidence? Do you have a human relations department or labor relations department? Mediation as hypercat mentions is great...sort things out. Maybe what this person doesn't see his or her bullying as what it is and rather sees his or her manner of getting results. Who knows...but you should not be afraid to go to work and, if you normally enjoy your job, hate your job. If the unfortunate situation is you have no where to turn in this organization, I would attempt to do what you can in the short term while seeking out a new job. Surely there is a company out there that won't allow such tactics from their leadership team.

In the mean time, Mary makes some great suggestions to at least find some support and strength. Obviously you always have folks here who can empathize or sympathize with what you're dealing with. Know that you DO have options and this person clearly is unfit for their position or is perhaps under their own metaphorical fire to get the job done....thus finding someone to pick on. It is not acceptable. If you're able to chat with the person without them truly being the horrible person they seem, maybe ask what it is that has them directing their fury towards you, what you can do better, and that you'd like a less hostile working environment. If this conversation yields nothing, know with absolute certainty...you're just dealing with an enormous jerk. Take no stock in any negative words they say and know that you are a worthwhile person, employee, and human being. Knowing they lack professionalism or even a decent bone in their body, let their words be the water on your rain coat....let it fall off and collect your check while you transition away and out. Maybe you can inquire about a different department? Just some thoughts, opinions, and suggestions. I am truly sorry someone is treating you like this, but do you know are absolutely worth more than the treatment they're bestowing upon you and that you are not any of the things that come out of their, in all odds, insecure mouth. Take care for now and please let us know how things go. Good or bad, we're here.

[hypercat54 in reply to Hidden]

With all due respect to your experience my friend what I experienced and I think what Timeup did isn't quite the same. She wasnt intimidating in that sense but she micromanaged me for months and was always hovering over me and criticising. My work was as good as anyones and I never got disciplined over it. One day she got me in her office and literally screamed at me and got hysterical. I ended up in a hell of a state too. Of course when it went to mediation she lied completely about this and said she didn't remember doing it! She was a serial bully who picked on those she saw as vulnerable and made their lives hell. x

[Hidden in reply to hypercat54]

Yeah, no saving the egomaniacs out there. I would hope these types of "leaders" lacked existence these days, but I'm supposing it's a new breed of horrible. Hate hearing this....can't just let people come do their job, do it good, and go home to enjoy the fruits of labor. My own was just someone trying to elevate their status here to a new position....we shared a phone call where he also lied about ever saying many things, yet he had talked to my sister (who also works where I work) who said he very much said everything he denied. Fairly sure I'm going to trust my own blood over someone else. Hopefully there's some sort of network to go to that can be made aware of this hell-raiser. That's brutal and no one deserves to be bullied and treated like that.

[hypercat54 in reply to Hidden]

I think this type of person would be easier to deal with - at least you know where their bullying is coming from and what game they are playing and you can fight back.

My sister also worked at my place but as a team leader herself and she thoroughly disliked the bullying team leader, not because of what she did but she said she was always obsequious to those above her whilst bullying to those below. Mind you I would pity anyone trying to bully my sister as she is made of strong stuff! x