Self-Esteem

[Kat63]

I’ve never wanted to be me. I’ve always wanted to be things that I wasn’t.

I wanted to be tall and thin. Even though my short and curvy body has always been appealing.

I wanted to be good at something like math or science or business. I thought it was hopelessly uncool to be good at English, history, foreign languages, or really anything I’m good at. I didn’t see how amazing it is that I can do the things I can with words and language.

I wanted to be outgoing and superficial. I didn’t see the value in my quiet, investigative nature, or my capacity for depth and abstract thinking.

I wanted to like sports and enjoy working out. I didn’t honor my own dislike for being sweaty and out of breath. I didn’t see liking to be clean and cool as valid choices. I didn’t see how good it is to love reading, and to love sewing and crafting and making things.

I wanted to be practical and logical, instead of emotional, creative, and romantic. I didn’t see how considering people’s thoughts and feelings is a positive thing, not a weakness.

Why was I so afraid to end up being a teacher or a librarian or an editor, or an attorney, a psychologist, a professor - when one of those careers might have suited me to a T? (Although I am an editor, of sorts - I’ve been a technical writer and editor for about 15 years.)

Will I ever learn to love my real self? And how did I get this way? What happened to make me devalue myself and think everything I’m *not* was better?

[Emmlish]

I know exactly what you're saying! I can relate... I think that on a subconscious level we Always want to fit in to the ideal of our culture, at any given time. To be accepted by society, so to speak. It's very difficult... to see past that, that it is actually only a temporary cursor, which does not say anything about your value. I am sure that you will come to accept and love yourself as you are, you are already on a good way, writing here on the forum :)) Wishing you all the best

[Agora1]

Hi Kat63, we are not born with self esteem, it is something that is learned during our

formative years. Things that we hear or see can make a deep impact in who we can

become as well as how we think.

It doesn't mean that we can never change. That is always our choice. As we have more

life experience, we can grow emotionally. We can expand our horizons to be whoever

and whatever we want. Self esteem is achieved when we are comfortable with ourselves,

when we learn to love who we are. Never allow someone to change who you are, to

become what they need. If you need something to believe in, believe in yourself. xx

[Pmstvr]

Thanks for sharing this ..I have had similar feelings.

[Kkimm]

Hi

It is very likely to relate to childhood experiences and messages you have received about yourself.

Have you had or thought about counselling?

My best wishes

Kim

[HeathersWellness]

Hi Kat. Many people (myself included) have either struggled or continue to struggle with wanting to be someone other than who we are. Whether it's a physical attribute we're not happy with or our career or intellect or other aspect of ourselves that we'd like to change, it can get in the way of our being truly happy and fulfilled in life.

While we can all strive to become better versions of ourselves, I don't think it's wise to reject any part of ourself as being wrong, bad or unworthy. We have the bodies (curves and all), minds and personalities, desires and aptitudes that God intended us to have. After all, He created us and everything He's ever made is good!

So to answer your question -- Absolutely, you can learn to love your real self (that's all the self you'll ever need) and once done, you can teach others to do the same! Thanks for sharing something so many of us can relate to! Blessings and hugs!