I asked for understanding.

[8Bee]

So, I did it. I reached out to my mom. I wanted to tell her how bad I’ve been feeling, how lost, empty, lonely and regretful I feel. I wanted to tell her I’ve thought about my life, my role, my presence. I wanted to tell her I don’t feel me anymore, but she didn’t let me. She didn’t give me the attention nor the time to explain. She told me she had too much to worry about, and said she felt like it was an attack towards her. I talked to my brother . Brought up “mental health during covid”. He said negative things about seeking professional help, not aware that I was subtly reaching out to him too. The rest of the family, are too busy with their own life going on. The only person I felt that I could trust is drifting away because I couldn’t commit to a relationship. When I tried explaining why, he would immediately brush it off saying I didn’t need to explain.

That’s what I’ve got. When I’m going through things that I need the most support, I’m left at my loneliest state.

[Grateful71]

8Bee I know that feeling of not getting what you feel you need from the people you love and want to rely on. When I was younger my mum couldn't talk to me about my difficulties , I know now this was because she was struggling with her own pain and regrets. When I wanted to talk it just brought up thoughts and feelings she couldn't cope with. She's now 70 and is beginning to look back on the trauma she experienced in her life and how that impacted on her children.if your family can't give you what you need right now it's unlikely you can force them to hear you. Can you reach out to others, friends, support groups, hopefully being here will help. I have always found the kindness of strangers on this site , we are here for you 🥰

[8Bee in reply to Grateful71]

Thank you! I’m a 30 year old, and growing up I just kept things to myself. I’m older than you probably expected, but I felt that now that I’m older maybe she’d want to listen to how I feel things led up to how I’m feeling now. Didn’t get the answer that I needed but I’m really not surprised 😔

[Grateful71 in reply to 8Bee]

I don't think it matters what age you are your childhood trauma stays with you and i believe impact on how you live your adult life and the choices you make. I have never had them to you reassure or understanding from my parents that I used to long for. I eventually accepted that neither can do this because of their own difficulties. I word hard even after many years to accept that I am disappointed and angry with them and their lack of care as young parents but let it go and live my life. I know it's really hard 💛

[Kat_21]

Good job reaching out.

I recommend trying to get an appointment with a counselor/therapist through telehealth. My family is similar, we don't talk about mental health, and my husband is a poor listener. But just opening up to my counselor once a week has improved my mental state.

Don't take what your family says, or doesn't say, personally. Parents are very wrapped up in themselves and they don't seem to understand that we are people too with complex emotions. I'm not sure of your age, but I dealt with this a lot growing up and did anything to get attention, but from the wrong people. It really is best to reach out to a professional. They could also help you reach out better to your family about how you're feeling. I truly hope things get better for you.

[8Bee in reply to Kat_21]

Thank you! My family has always been like that, and in a way I understand because mental awareness has become for of a thing now than it was so I try not to take it personal. I just wish they were more open to the idea of counseling because I’m sure I’m not the only one that will benefit and needs it.

[FearIsALiar]

Sorry you’re going through a difficult time. I think you should look into self help books on Amazon (read reviews before buying)

Everyone’s mental health is important! Keep reaching out here for support

[8Bee in reply to FearIsALiar]

Thank you! This group has helped me a lot. Even reading and commenting for others has helped me view things in a different way and understand how others have dealt with things similar to what I’m going through.

[FearIsALiar in reply to 8Bee]

It has helped me a lot too!

[8Bee]

Thank you! This group has helped me a lot and someone else mentioned looking into self help books, so I’m going to look those up.

[8Bee]

Yes, I’m really just trying my best not to take things personal, it just really hurts when you’ve been there for everyone and no ones available for me. I’m glad I can at least share and let it out here in this group.