I am in the United States, and I have health insurance. I have suffered from anxiety for most of my life, but have an intense fear of going to a doctor, so I have dealt with the anxiety on my own. I am 59 years old and have had a series of life events over the last months that brought me to a breakdown about 6 weeks ago. I have now been to 2 emergency rooms, and 2 doctor’s offices. I have tried 4 antidepressants, I can’t tolerate the side effects of any of them. (They all make my anxiety even more intense) I have been unable to get a referral to a psychiatrist who accepts my insurance, and even if I could, it takes 6 weeks to get an appointment. I live alone. I had to quit my job. I am unable to function. I have only been able to see a nurse practitioner. She gave me a prescription for lorazepam, which is the only thing that helps even a little bit. The problem is, she apparently can’t or won’t continue prescribing it. So when this prescription runs out, I will have nothing to even take the edge off of this 24/7 relentless anxiety that I am plagued with. This anxiety is so intense that “anxiety control” techniques are useless at this point. (I have tried. I got the Claire Weekes book about a month ago.) Since my breakdown, the only thing that even touches this anxiety is the lorazepam. My blood pressure stays high despite medication. I am starting to realize that no one is going to help me. My life has fallen apart and no one will help. If I can’t find a way to get a handle on this anxiety, I won’t survive. I never knew that anxiety could get this bad, for this long, with no sign of any relief.
How can I get rid of intense, unrelenting anxiety so that I can function again, since the medical profession doesn’t seem to be of any help? I am desperate for a solution.
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Babyboomer1960
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Are you doing therapy with the nurse practitioner? Can't you get into s therapist and then wait for psychiatry appointment. I have been on many antidepressants you just have to keep trying them until you find one that works. The benzo category of meds is addictive so they are prescribing less of these now.
I'm close to you in age. I do something to distract myself when the anxiety kicks in. Doesn't always work. Yoga meditation have helped
You could also cut you pill in half? Mayb see if the 1/2 does the trick and they will last longer?
I can’t tolerate the side effects of any of the 4 antidepressants that I’ve tried already.
My anxiety is constant. This is really a medical crisis for me. I am already rationing the lorazepam since apparently I won’t be getting anymore. I actually need more in order to get past this breakdown. They are apparently willing to let me suffer now, than risk future addiction. I understand the risks of benzos, but right now they seem to be the only thing that helps.
I agree with what Dolphin says. Also, next time you’re right in the middle of a panic attack - try taking deep breaths in, then slowly letting the breath out.
I’ve been to two emergency rooms already. My blood pressure was 200/125 at the first emergency room. I just get diagnosed with anxiety and passed off to the next person, who basically then provides minimal care, while trying to pass me off to a psychiatrist....but there is no psychiatrist available to see me. Several referrals have been rejected due to the provider not accepting my insurance. I was told there is a shortage of psychiatrists and even if you can find one it takes about 6 weeks to be seen. I’ve already gone six weeks and haven’t even found a psychiatrist yet.
Hi, I'm sorry your going through this. It sounds awful.
Just one question:
Can you schedule an appointment with your nurse practitioner and ask why she cannot or will not renew your lorazepam? Maybe there is a misunderstanding there (?)
The nurse practitioner knows the condition I am in. She is the one who wants me to see a psychiatrist, but can’t get me a referral. She told me that she will not renew my lorazepam because it isn’t their policy to provide ongoing treatment with lorazepam. She wouldn’t give me a larger to dosage to see if I could tolerate the antidepressant side effects until they hopefully would start working. She knows I am alone. She knows I’ve had to quit working because of this. She prescribed me an antihistamine called Vistaril for my anxiety. It does nothing.
I haven’t been to see a doctor in almost 15 years. I have such a fear of them. This is so bad, that I finally realized that what I was suffering was worse than my fear.
In the beginning, I thought they would help. I am not even really in any condition to advocate for myself.
What they don’t see, is that I’m no different than any other person suffering a serious injury (except mine is mental). They wouldn’t be undertreating and making excuses to someone with a heart attack or someone who was in an accident.
All I am doing is getting worse and more hopeless. I know this must be treatable. Anyone who saw me would say, “Get help. You need help.” But apparently there is no help.
At my appointment, I asked her if she could send me to someone else who would have more latitude when it came to prescribing. She said, a psychiatrist. But, I can find no one who will see me.
You are unable to get a referral to psychiatrist but your blood pressure is through the roof? The stress and anxiety has been brought about by the life events which have turned your life upside down. I guess you need help from a specialist in cognitive behaviour or post traumatic stress therapy, from a psychologist. As you are drug sensitive there are foods which can help your anxiety such as banana and foods which contain gaba. Other foods with tryptophans may help calm you down. Valerian has a similar effect to your lorazepam and you buy patches with slow release on the web. - amazon.com. Chamomile tea might be recommended. Other recommendations are to cut out fizzy drinks, and high sugar foods, and cut down the fats in your diet. Coconut oil is recommended for anxiety and depression about a tablespoon a day, This also contains vitamin E which is good for your immune system. Coconut oil has essential fatty acids which help your heart and blood pressure. Will dig out any more info for you, but think that you need the help of therapists who can help you come to terms with the events in your life which have upset you so much, so I would go back to the doctor to speak about how traumatic events have affected you and ask for a referral for post traumatic stress and cognitive behaviour therapy. If you have any family and friends who you can chat with, it may help you.
The gave me blood pressure medication. Last year, I had normal blood pressure without medication and I was a bit overweight. I have lost 25 pounds over this and my blood pressure is still high. It was 160/100 at my last appointment with the nurse practitioner. Even after seeing that, she told me she wouldn’t refill my lorazepam. She just gave me a 4 th antidepressant to try (I took it for 2 days. It kept my awake all night for 3 nights, plus increased my anxiety even more), plus Vistaril, an antihistamine that’s supposed to have sedative properties. It didn’t do a thing for me.
I eat a banana every day. I quit fizzy drinks over 25 years ago. I ate a healthy diet...no processed foods. People call me a “health nut”. I ate a primarily plant based diet, take Omega 3 fish oil (til I ran out), magnesium, b12, etc.
I have been doing all the self help stuff for over 20 years. St. John’s Wort, 5htp, ashwanganda, etc...It’s all somewhat helpful for someone who is still functional. This is beyond self help.
Back in ‘91, after having my first child, my mentally abusive husband terrorized me for months. When I finally got out, I lived in a spouse abuse shelter for over a year, due to the concern for my safety. After my divorce, I lived in hiding. Even though I went on with life, there is a part of me that never really recovered from that. Last December, my ex contacted my son. He let him know that he knows where I am.....he described my house. This is just one of several extreme stressors I am dealing with that led to my mental collapse. I am living alone for the first time in my life. My current husband and I are separated. He lives out of state. I had to deal with the deaths of my old Labrador retriever and my cat two days apart in early March.
This anxiety is so bad that I was unable to attend my daughter’s college graduation. I haven’t missed anything like that ever.
I want to see a therapist (who accepts my insurance), but I need to be medically stabilized first. I need to feel safe and comfortable. No one who could help seems to care.
You are not medically stable with that bp I don't know where you live in the US but that's unacceptable. I know we have lost a lot of coverage when it comes to mental health services. But, your hypertension is first and foremost.
I live in Upstate South Carolina. Actually, giving me the lorazepam (or something else) to calm me down and keep me calm would take care of the blood pressure. I have checked my blood pressure while taking the lorazepam and my blood pressure meds, it has been down to 98/65. They are treating a symptom, while refusing to treat the cause.
I never thought I could be in this bad of a mental condition, seek treatment, and get no effective relief.
I'm in Texas and unfortunately, it sounds like your NP is the problem. They can write the script, but they're not going to because they fear for their medical credentials. I recently ran into a scenario a lot like yours. Same exact problem with what works and what doesn't. Have they tried a beta blocker for your blood pressure, pulse, and anxiety? I'm surprised if not since it could help (opinion only...not a doctor or any type of medical professional)...even just a little. What they did give you is basically an antihistamine (Vistaril is hydroxyzine HCl) that helps with sleeping and anxiety. For some it's great, for some it helps provide sleep, others anxiety, and others it does nothing. I hate reading this because you've hit the same bottom I did (check out my post from around March/April on my page). I had doctors basically blaming me for what works versus what doesn't. I came in willing to work with my primary doctor to find a reasonable solution going forward and left deflated. While, yes, you probably do need to see psychiatrist, they don't have a miracle cure. The one I have seen made things worse...though we're making progress together. Yeah, they'll likely issue you what they deem a reasonable dose, but they will check your bottle at check-ups...and so on. Also, my own psychiatrist has said as much that benzos are the new opioids. They don't want these medications out there anymore due to addiction, abuse, and so on. This is why you're having a tough time. The doctors are getting lashed it...and as you would guess it...the patient becomes the blame. The lone advice my psychiatrist gave me was CBT...which takes time, but I really think if you can battle through more...please try it. Along with meditation, mindfulness, coping, or whatever. I've made strides but it takes time
For now, I would really emphasize that they need to stabilize that blood pressure...it's not safe for you long term. Ask this NP where you can get help for controlled substances until you can get into a psychiatrist. Just make that long appointment for now. If you've been taking benzos longer than a month, you're probably dealing with withdrawal issues (opinion only, I'm not a doctor) so you do need medical attention. Your next best bet is, I know you don't like it, is to find a new practice and doctor. At the very least, your NP should have you weening off that dose. This is the worst portion of the mental health system....when you feel this helpless. They need to be providing you with solutions. Do you know of the nearest mental health hospital in your area? It might be worth going to that hospital however far. I would even consider calling a national hotline for direction to any establishment that can help you. You don't and shouldn't need to feel this way. Especially for a professional to allow you help and then sweep it out from under you because they suddenly can't. It's true that medicinal laws vary by state, so perhaps she technically can't write the Rx, but she should have found you help. Most professional's have connections for referrals that can get you in quicker....shortage or not. Please try calling around....I really hate seeing people in this shape and feeling this helpless.
Edited: Emphasizing that I'm not a doctor...any medicinal advice is just my own experience and that only. Don't want this to get wiped out. I truly hope you are able to find help!!
I am just so surprised that when I finally sought out the help I so desperately need, I am just running into one roadblock after another. In the beginning I really believed help would come quickly. If I survive this, I will come out the other side with PTSD from the trauma of trying unsuccessfully to obtain proper treatment month after month.
I have tried 5 hpt previously. Years ago, I tried St. John’s Wort, Ashwanganda, etc. Back when I could eat, I ate lots of fruits and vegetables. I exercised regularly. All of my interventions were of moderate help. Unfortunately, I think all the self-help just kept me functioning while my situation really needed much more intense intervention. I feel like I am paying the price now for not realizing I needed professional help last year.
hi I have just read over several of your posts and im hoping that I can give you some relief in the knowledge that I too went through a similar experience that I never ever wish to repeat;a lot of what you describe resonates with my own feelings.ITs been truly debilitating ,and can honestly say never experienced so much stress and health anxiety ,if it wasn't for Dr Claire Weeks book Essential help for nerves,I think Id have gone completely bonkers.Mine started around April last year and its only been the past 2months this year that im beginning to see the light as well as hope-----My heart goes out to you and hope you can get the insuance and tranquilliser to help ease the anxiety.Im in UK so that's something we don't need ,though the new Gp (practise)that took over was not in the least bit understanding ,regarding my dependency on 5mg diazepam after 35years----he is currenly weaning me off with literally no real support whatsoever....Im over 20 and my common sensical approach to life just vanished overnight,anxiety symptoms overwhelmed me.couldnt express myself to this young Gp who had as much care/understanding as a 5yr old.It was a total nightmare one that's lingred on indefinitely,but Im getting back gradually to my former compassionate self!-----sorry over 70-not 20yrs every single pain ect was magnified ,at the time it was so real and so frightening as I had no one at all,my sisters were hopeless at trying to explain how I felt ,on DRWeekes book eased my pain ,mental turmoil .please message me and I can try and ease your mind at present I cant go on and on ---Joyce Meyers talks helped to so very much (evangelist on tv,I hope to God that you feel a little better having read there are others that match your anguish,believe me!!!
I am 59. I have had some bad bouts of depression/anxiety in my past, but I always felt that they would pass and life would go on. At 59, I’m not really feeling confident in my future anymore. I’m not worried about the potential for dependency on Ativan at this point. I feel life I need it to even have a chance at getting through this. Right now, after months of suffering, I just need some immediate relief. Then I can work on building myself back up again.
I can understand you needing that relief from what must seem like endless days of constant battling,its unfortuneate that UsA,system is different to ours in Uk,i had to persevere to get 2mg diazepam and still have to wean myself off and GP very reluctant to give me them.I do sincerely hop you can get some form of help to find relief from your suffering,Its not easy and you need to take on board Drweekes advice accept and float past it ---find something that can hold your interest ,there is hope and you can get better .
I appreciate your situation. I am in a similar boat and the medical system is so broken. The only thing that has been helping me is alternative medicine which is more accessible and affordable. The world is terribly broken and I honestly feel that people that suffer as we do are "terribly real in a terribly fake world." You are real and you are not alone.
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Hopeless.
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