New here

[Whyami]

Im new to this site. Unfortunately not new to anxiety and depression. But since becoming a mom my anxiety has reached a whole new level. I am in a constant state of fear and worry. I worry something terrible will happen to my son. I get these horrible thoughts in my head. What if a pedophile steals him at the store? What if he falls down the stairs? Burns himself, falls on a knife? Just intrusive, scary scenarios. Im also afraid something will happen to me and I wont be there to take care of him. I worry im dying of a disease, or that I'll have a heart attack. Maybe I'll get into a car accident. What would happen to my baby? The thought of my ex taking him makes me sick. My panic attacks are becoming more severe and happening frequently . I hardly go anywhere anymore because im so afraid to drive now. Ive been in therapy over a year now, and sometimes think it only makes me feel worse. My therapist is great and im very comfortable talking to her but there is something missing. Also, our last session i left feeling really upset about a few things she said. I'm just so sick of feeling like i cant get out of my own head. I want my baby to grow up with a healthy, happy mama. I want to enjoy our time and not be so consumed by these negative thoughts and constant worry. I used to take medication for anxiety but was advised to stop when i was pregnant. ( i actually felt pretty good when i was pregnant, so i was fine off them) I feel like its so hard to find a good doctor. The last time i saw my primary i felt rushed and we didnt talk too much about the extent of my anxiety. She basically told me to exercise and drink chamomile tea. I see the same dr at a new practice in a couple weeks and plan to ask about getting back on meds. Fingers crossed. Thanks for reading if you got this far. Its comforting to know there are so many other people who feel this way. I haven't lost hope that I'll feel better someday.

[a_work_in_progress]

Hi welcome. Glad you found this group there’s a lot of good people here with A lot of really good advice. There’s bound to be somebody here going through the same thing as you, same age as you, possibly from another country or right down the street. I do think that you should try to get back on the medication that worked well for you before you got pregnant until you can sort things through. It must be a lot of pressure now trying to juggle it all. Wishing you find peace today. 🤗

[Whyami in reply to a_work_in_progress]

Thank you so much! Im happy i found this site too!

[Paxygirl]

I can relate completely to you! I have severe health anxiety the exact same way you do. Interestingly, it didn’t happen with my younger daughter (9 years old now) but have it with my son (1.5 years) I feel that added pressure of ‘what if something is wrong with me’. It’s constantly in my thoughts. I feel like if something bad happens I won’t be here to care for them like they need. The thoughts in my head are always running. Belly ache? Cancer. Headache? Brain tumor. Sounds ridiculous it it’s there. My biggest fear is being diagnosed with something and not having control of outcomes. Not sure where this came from but a few health scares must have triggered it. I can tell you that Yoga helped me a ton. Gives me time to relax my mind and exert energy so minimizes my worry. Also starting seeing therapist so just at my first session so fingers crossed. Ever need to talk let me know. We’ll get through this and be the happy mamas we are meant to be!

[Whyami in reply to Paxygirl]

Thank you! Yes thats exactly how i feel. I try to tell myself that worrying about something that may never happen is only making me feel worse. Why dwell on all the what ifs? Its only making me sick! Unfortunately its not that easy. If it was, we wouldnt be feeling this way at all! Its all so frustrating. I do get a few breaks through my anxiety fog sometimes where i feel relief and know things are going to be ok. Sometimes it only lasts seconds but to have those brief moments gives me hope that its possible to feel better. Its in there!! When i get really bad i try to pull those feelings out and remember how i felt in that moment. Again, easier said then done especially during a panic attack. My son will be 2 this fall. I thought as he got older the intense anxiety would dissipate a bit, but it seems to only be getting stronger and its becoming harder to manage. I feel guilty sometimes when im totally stuck in my own head and while im not ignoring my baby, sometimes i dont feel like im completely there. If that makes sense. Good luck with your therapy! I truly hope it helps you. I think i may need to find a new one myself.